To have a chat with my friendly local policeman?

[Horsemad]

About my neighbour's son?

Neigbour's son objects to my son and his friends playing footy on the grassed area in our road when he is visiting his mother as he is paranoid they wiill damage his car.

We have taken his points on board and told kids to move around so they are not near his car when he visits.

Today, on leaving, neighbour's son asked the kids if the ball had been near his car - they said no. His mother told him to leave it and just go, and he said, 'no 'cause I don't trust these little bastards.'

I'm getting slightly narked that he is still whinging and swearing at the kids, who have complied with his request and refrained from playing near where his car is parked.

How can someone who doesn't even live in this road dictate to the kids who DO live here, where they can play? Previously, he has threatened to 'deck' my husband when my husband went to chat amicably about the situation and he has also threatened to 'belt' the kids if his car is damaged whilst parked here.

For the record, they are not rude, not vandalising anything and at least they are near home, where I can see who they are with and what they are upto and not roaming round the village like most do round here.

[ll31]

I'm not sure what police would do - he hasn't actually done anything has he - jsut been rude and grumpy..

[cookcleanerchaufferetc]

What does his mum say about his behaviour? The police can't do anything, unless you call them next time he is being a twat.

[Mitmoo]

Get them a sponge football from ASDA's or any other well known store. Footballs don't belong around parked vehicles as they can dent them, a sponge football is only going to leave a muddy mark at worst.

Compromise on the ball that is used. A sponge football is no hardship for the kids to use.

[picnicbasketcase]

It doesn't sound unreasonable at all, you're not reporting the guy for anything, all you'd be doing is asking for advice on the situation from a policeman.

[browneyesblue]

YANBU - that's one of the things community officers are for, isn't it?

The police could have an informal chat with him. He has been more than just rude - he has been threatening.

[southeastastra]

can you talk to his mum? he sounds crackers but people worry about such weird things these days

[DontGoCurly]

He sounds like a thug with serious anger management problems

[booyhoo]

he has threatened to 'deck' OP's husband and 'belt' thekids. those are threats of violence that the police should be taking seriously!

i would speak to the local police. i woul also politely inform neighbour's son that the children have complied with hisrequest and have no intentionof damaging his car. whilst makingitclear that he has absoloutely no say whatsoever inwhere they play.

[peggotty]

I think involving the police will just escalate things. Just keep the kids away from his car (although I would draw the line at not allowing then to play as normal). Chances are his mother is mortified about the way he's carrying on. Obviously is he threatens again, then you would be justified in at least reporting the fact he's made threats.

[Iwantscallops]

You say you live in a village with a friendly local bobby, so I would mention it to him when I saw him next.

He can assess the situation himself and may/may not be able to do anything.

The son did threaten to 'belt' your son and 'deck' your DH, so I would want this noted somewhere.

[booyhoo]

goodidea to change the ball for a sponge one. balls do go astray and you dont want o give this guy any ammo.

[Horsemad]

Mitmoo they are nowhere near his car - when he turns up, they move away, but he is still pressing home his point, unnecessarily, I feel. This guy is so obsessed about his 5yr BMW, that he'd seriously freak if they even hit it with a sponge ball, believe me!

[Mitmoo]

I don't think he is crackers. I don't allow my son to play with his "proper" footballs outside our house as there are cars outside and I don't want to end up with bills for damaged vehicles.

Likewise I told off an OAP for using Frisbees in our street for her dog to chase because I didn't want it hitting my car and damaging it. Silly old bat.

Sponge footballs stopped the neighbours worrying about damage to their car and me from worrying about getting bills for the damage. It was the perfect solution around here.

[southeastastra]

get the kids some chalk

[Mitmoo]

Horsemad My son would say I'll just kick it in the garden but you can't trust kids with footballs, you just can't, a miskick, one getting excited a mate coming over and booting it.

It's just not a good idea to have kids footballs and cars in the same vicinity.

A sponge ball keeps everyone happy in my experience and they only cost a couple of quid.

[BobblyGussets]

We used to have this, but somewhat more polite, thank goodness.

I hate people whinging about their cars in a cul-de-sac when the kids are giving them a wide berth. They would all rather our kids be stuck in in front of the computer or TV.
OP YANBU.

[SarahStratton]

I'm liking the chalks idea.

[Horsemad]

southeastastra I love your solution! The guy's a prize cock!

FWIW, we would pay for any damages if our son had caused it, that's the kind of parents we are.

We did speak to a family member who is a solicitor to ask where we stood and they said neighbour's son has already overstepped the mark, by threatening us.

[southeastastra]

i find it weird that people can't communicate with their neighbours - it's kind of grim

[Horsemad]

Dandy yes, w ehave spoken to her and agreed to get the kids to move when he visits.

Kids do this, yet he is still being obnoxious.

[Mitmoo]

Of course he can't threaten you that's illegal. And so it should be.

Do you think youd be impressed if someone hit your car with a football because I wouldn't be.

A bit of give and take here would solve the problem. Your neighbours son would have to prove that it was your son who caused the damage, kids rarely play football alone. I can see his concern but not his nasty attitude.

[Tchootnika]

Nothing wrong with letting police know about neighbour's threats if you think they're at all serious.

[Mitmoo]

horse why don't you just buy the kids a sponge football so it's not a problem ever?

[Horsemad]

Mitmoo I am absolutely NOT buying a sponge football, 'cause (a) it would make no difference if it hit his car - he'd still freak as he's THAT obsessive and (b) the kids HAVE moved away from his car as requested. That is more than enough compromise for someone who is not a resident in this road!