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AIBU?

AIBU, mother taking sleeping tablets?

58 replies

Sookeh · 18/09/2011 12:51

My mother just admitted that she's been taking 14mg Zopiclone (sleeping) tablets whilst DD (3)has been co sleeping with her when she stays overnight.
I didn't get angry over the phone as I'm grateful she's been helping with her while I've not been well, but it's left me feeling angry. Surely looking after a toddler and taking sleeping aids don't mix if there's no one else in the house?
Am I being unreasonable to be angry about this?

OP posts:

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SofaKingOld · 18/09/2011 12:58

YANBU. I wouldn't be as bothered about the zopiclone if not co-sleeping.

All the safe co-sleeping advice says to avoid drugs (& that includes prescription drugs).

Is there anybody else in the house at the same time who could be roused if your DD woke up?

rubyslippers · 18/09/2011 12:59

YANBU

You should never co sleep if yoou have taken drugs

TBH I wouldn't let this go - you either have to assurances from your mum she wont do it again, or your DD cannot stay over

Minus273 · 18/09/2011 13:01

YANBU if she is taking any sleeping tablets then your dd should be sleeping elsewhere.

Sookeh · 18/09/2011 13:22

My stepfather is there as well but usually sleeps downstairs.

When I spoke to her about it she just said that as DD was 3, it's not as if she would roll on top of her or anything

OP posts:

Lulumama · 18/09/2011 13:25

YANBU

you absolutely should not co sleep under the influence of any drugs, prescription or otherwise or alcohol

Ive taken zopiclone and they make you v drowsy and then put you in a deep deep sleep ime.

even without the worry of her rolling on to your DD, what about if DD woke in the night with a nightmare, or feeling ill, and couldn't wake grandma and grandpa is nowhere to be seen

peterpan99 · 18/09/2011 13:27

i personally dont think you should be taking sleeping pills if you are looking after small children

AuntieMaggie · 18/09/2011 13:31

I've taken zopiclone and they haven't put me in a deep sleep or knocked me out and I've woken up easily enough but having said that you should probably talk to her about your concerns.

knittedbreast · 18/09/2011 13:49

you cant say for sure as it affects people differently. why dont you comprimise, your child can still stay over as long as they dont co sleep? i wouldnt see a problem that way

littleducks · 18/09/2011 13:53

I think I stopped thinking about co sleeping guidelines by the time my child was 3 years old tbh. But how powerful is the sleeping tablet? Would she wake up if your dd did or does it knock you out cold?

RufusTFirefly · 18/09/2011 15:00

YANBU. 14mg of Zopiclone is TWICE the maximum dose! Unless she's completely habituated to it this will knock her out cold. I take 3.75mg and find that more than enough!

I'm with Lulumama on this one. And I'm wondering what the fuck your DM's GP is doing, prescribing a dose this high.

Sookeh · 18/09/2011 16:42

Rufus, she was prescribed 7mg but takes 2 as one doesn't work for her, apparently.

I'm just angry that she only admitted this now. She's been having DD for the odd night for a while.

OP posts:

Anomaly · 18/09/2011 16:45

What if there was a fire or some other emergency? I would be livid.

YANBU

lou33 · 18/09/2011 16:49

14mg is a lot to take, i am on the 7.5mg ones atm , which i thought was the maximum recommended dose, it would certainly not be easy to respond to an emergency at that level, imo.

MysteryToyBlockedTheToilet · 18/09/2011 16:52

Its difficult as she's doing you a favour but I think this would be a issue for me and would probably stop overnights until i knew she wasnt taking them whilst taking care of your dd.

Its not neccessarily the co sleeping issue i would say its more what if there was a fire, if Granddad is downstairs and Nan wont wake up what happens to dd, not trying to worry you but that would be my issue.

If its only the odd night tho surely not taking the sleeping tablets for the night she has her shouldnt be too much of a problem? Do you think she would go for that?

MysteryToyBlockedTheToilet · 18/09/2011 16:54

oops took about 9 hours to post that and cross posted with anomaly sorry!!

michelleseashell · 18/09/2011 16:54

I take a milder sleeping tablet and occasionally co-sleep but even with the medication I am in a very light sleep and I feel safe. I'm more easily woken than my husband in a natural sleep.

That's my judgement call though based on how I know I sleep and it's my own baby. I wouldn't let anyone else even attempt it and I'd be pretty pissed off if they did it without asking so I'm going to say YANBU.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 18/09/2011 16:56

Am a bit shocked at the opinion that no mother should take sleeping tablets. I had to be on them for a while, I still woke up when my children needed me. But I would be cross tbh. Is there a reason she co sleeps? Is there not a bed for dd? Not anti cosleeping at all btw, I still do with both of mine if they want.

MysteryToyBlockedTheToilet · 18/09/2011 17:05

Its not that mothers are not allowed to take sleeping tablets, its taking tablets when looking after someone elses dc without telling them.

IMO I'm the only person allowed to rate and take chances with the safety of my child, And would never dream of making that call without telling the mum of a child i was looking after. Obviously different people are affected differently but I just feel its not up to them to use their judgement without the knowledge of the mother.

Riveninabingle · 18/09/2011 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly · 18/09/2011 17:11

To put a different slant on it, should you be asking for your DD to stay, if she needs to co sleep, whilst your DM is having sleep problems?

Sleeping tablets are usually a temporary measure and some stop working after a while. You need to have an open conversation with her.

lou33 · 18/09/2011 17:17

I don't have an issue with taking sleeping tablets at all, the only thing i am concerned about is the double dose she is taking.

Ragwort · 18/09/2011 17:20

Birdsgottafly has made a very good point. Why does your DD have to co-sleep with your DM? Perhaps your DM isn't really very happy about having her to sleep over but doesn't quite know how to tell you ............

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QueenStromba · 18/09/2011 17:30

I take the 7.5mg tablets sometimes and there is no waking me when I'm on them. Apparently I have a tendency to roll over onto my back and start snoring on them and every time my DP tries to get me back on my side I just roll back again. There's no way I'd take them with a small child in the bed or even if I was solely responsible for a child in their own bed. I don't think I'd even take them if I was on my own in the house in case there was a fire or something and I didn't wake up.

Sookeh · 18/09/2011 17:30

Riven, it's not that she took the sleeping tablets that has made me a but angry, it's that she did it without telling me, I didn't even know she was having sleeping problems.

I've asked her if having DD was an issue and she said it wasn't, she loves having her and they have a very close relationship.

She cosleeps because DD still cosleeps with me

OP posts:

mumeeee · 18/09/2011 17:56

Would it be possible for your DD to sleep in her own bed then there would be no risk of MIL rolling on to her.

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