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to be losing the will to live over DS1 and his yr 6 homework?

(13 Posts)
letmehelp Sat 17-Sep-11 22:13:04

He doesn't get much, but oh is it painful?

This week he had to make a list of the weather and climate in Iceland. That's it, nothing else, although he's supposed to read everyday (which actually he does willingly for 1 hout plus) but getting him to do any written work is such hard work.

First he doesn't understand what he's supposed to do, then he thinks one line is enough, then he needs a drink/the loo/food or "just needs to check something" confused Then obviously he needs to wind up his younger brother for a bit(who had far more work and was doing it beautifully) needs a different pencil, can't find the ruler he had a minute ago.....

I want to say, either do it or don't and take the consequences, but the trouble is there are no consequences. The homework never seems to be marked so I understand why DS1 doesn't really see the point. How do you manage homework? (DS1 will get no comment for his hard work either)

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Sep-11 22:40:27

My 10 YO DD has a diploma in procrastination grin

She didn't hand her homework in this week [eek]

I'll only remind her about it once or twice, it's up to her to do the work on time.

But she doesn't seem to have any consequences either to not handing it in, but I can't think that'd carry on when they get to secondary.

It's trying to get them to manage it themselves, or you'll be having to stand over him for ever more.

dealer Sat 17-Sep-11 22:52:05

I wouldn't be so sure about them enforcing it at high school tbh. Ds (age15) gets homework that should take about an hour, the punishment for not doing it is to tidy books for 5 mins. Wonder why so many kids don't do it.

troisgarcons Sat 17-Sep-11 22:57:56

Got to be brutally honest with you - I had this with eldest - 3 hours a night of tears and tantrums. He cannot (not wont, he cannot) read. Took me to Y4 to get any form of help (help? oh that would be the mad bat who said "I dont allow extra literacy lessons becaue it marks them as different"). So bloody disaffected by Y6 and a school drop out by Y9.

You need to look closely and deal with it NOW. Children are very clever at masking any mainstream differences.

backwardpossom Sat 17-Sep-11 23:02:09

Sounds about right. I set a class some written homework last week and out of 30 kids, only 4 were of an acceptable standard (only 16 handed it in in the first place). I find if I ask them to learn vocabulary (MFL), for example, they have no trouble with it. But if it's written work? Dreadful dreadful stuff.

whatever17 Sat 17-Sep-11 23:14:08

possom - I find that DS2 often cannot do his h/w. He is the kind of kid who wants to be top of the class and wants praise for his h/w and will lose sleep over not being able to do it. We go through it together (I have a degree so am not thick but my degree is in Eng Lit and, like so many people of my age (I'm 42) my maths is limited to arithmetic).

We end up submitting some approximation of what we hope the teacher meant. Often the sheets that he is given seem to be "floating in the air" and we canot get a handle on the context.

I met with his head and class teacher and said - we really try but the maths is beyond me and I struggle to help him and they laughed and said - glad we're not the only ones (re maths)!

Then if you take into account the parents who are EAL!? I think there should be h/w clubs and that we should accept that a lot of parents cannot help - especially with maths.

backwardpossom Sat 17-Sep-11 23:19:46

I can see your point, whatever, but this homework really wasn't difficult and it was basically a summary of what we'd been doing as classwork for 2 weeks - and they'd been managing it fine in class. In this case, it was sheer laziness. The kids who did a good job of it weren't the most academically gifted in the class, they'd just taken the time to sit down, read the instructions and do it properly. One kid even wrote it in English, despite the instructions saying clearly "write in German" and examples given... confused

BTW, am I going to be expected to do DS's homework help DS with his homework when he's at school? hmm

whatever17 Sat 17-Sep-11 23:27:58

Possom - oh yes, your turn will come! So watch out for the karma. I have "done" projects on snakes, aeroplanes, and volcanoes so far.

DS1, by contrast, didn't give a monkeys and refused to do his h/w whether I helped him or not.

whatever17 Sat 17-Sep-11 23:30:27

Possom - we find the "summaries of classwork" h/w the worst. DS2 can't remember a thing he's been taught. If I can get enough context I re-teach him, then he gets it.

OP could you have a word with teacher and ask what sanctions there are/could he have reward for handing it in?
Personally I chase if not handed in and children have to go to homework club at lunch/do it in golden time.
I have had parents write in hw diary if children have done hw without a fuss and then I give house points etc.
If children are stuck on h/w I will help them do it in golden time/quick bit at lunch. If it was completely beyond them, I set it at wrong level. I do always give an example of workings (eg Maths) to help parents and say how long it should take.

CailinDana Sat 17-Sep-11 23:36:26

The homework system here in Britain seems very odd to me. I'm from Ireland and the way it works there is that every night you get a few exercises to do from each subject to consolidate what's been done during the day. So for maths you'll get three or four sums to do, for English you might write a paragraph etc. Then the next day in class the start of each lesson involves correcting the homework as a class, explaining it and basically revising what happened yesterday. It's a very good system and very effective and there are very strong consequences for not doing it, such as being sent to the headteacher, or double homework the following night. The system here of handing out bits of homework every week seems very disjointed and adds a huge amount of work for the teacher as they have to mark that separately, on their own, on top of classwork. The children don't see the homework again and don't get a chance to revise it so they might as well not have done it. It's bonkers IMO and I can't blame the kids for having no interest in it. By contrast Irish kids tend to be fanatical about homework as it gives them a chance to prove themselves and they know they'll be in big trouble if they don't do it.

backwardpossom Sat 17-Sep-11 23:39:55

Thing is, if a kid is finding homework difficult, I am always available at lunchtime, breaktime, end of a period and after school for a while to offer help. I can count on one hand how many times I've been asked for help in my 6 years in the classroom... I'm not saying your DS2 is like the kids I teach, whatever (God help you if he is!), but the problem I have - and the kids will admit to it if I ask them - is that they either completely forget (despite planners), would rather be on Facebook/X-Box etc, don't read the instructions properly, or they leave it to the last minute and when they can't do it, they just hand in any old rubbish. If the homework was too difficult, I'd understand, but I really try hard not to give them anything that will be too taxing - what's the point if they can't do it?!

neverputasockinatoaster Sun 18-Sep-11 08:52:12

I hate homework. I'm a teacher and I loathe it with a passion. I have to think of something they can all reasonably do, I have to nag to get it back and then I have to mark the chuffingstuff when I've got 3 million bits of classwork to mark too....
DS is in year 2 and never does homework, he's too busy studying to be a marine biologist! If he's interested in doing it I help if he needs me too and I remind him about it (they get a booklet for maths to be dome over a half term ad the odd bit of Literacy) but if he doesn't want to do it......
As he gets older I will make it clear to him that he faces the consequences of not doing it and I shall encourage him to work on it a bit at a time, setting aside a place and a time for work.
I shall add that I was rubbish at homework at school, always leaving tasks to the last minute!

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