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to think twice about donating to a friend's charity effort because she didn't thank me last time?

(17 Posts)
Trippler Sat 17-Sep-11 16:03:20

That's it, really. She does occasional fun runs and stuff for charity. It's great.
Last time I donated quite a big sum and didn't even get a thanks. I've been in touch with her since. We're good friends.

I got an email yesterday asking for more of the same. I feel arsey because of the lack of thanks. AIBU? (I think so.)

Sirzy Sat 17-Sep-11 16:05:01

Is it possible that she simply forgot? If a lot of people sponsor/donate it can sometimes be hard to keep track of who you have thanked and who you haven't.

That said, I can understand why you are thinking the way you are and I would probably feel the same.

SauvignonBlanche Sat 17-Sep-11 16:05:08

YABU, only donate because you supprt the charity, not for thanks.

LeBOF Sat 17-Sep-11 16:05:43

Just donate to the charities you want to support and let her do her own thing, I suppose, if it rankles. I agree she has been a bit rude by the sound of it.

Trippler Sat 17-Sep-11 16:19:02

Well I didn't give money before for the thanks, but it's annoyed me not to get any thanks.
We've talked about the running aspect of what she did, she could easily have slipped in a "by the way..."

Maisiethemorningsidecat Sat 17-Sep-11 16:29:48

Do you think she just forgot - or thought she'd thanked you?

If she's generally unappreciative of people and the help they give her in her fundraising then YANBU.

babynamesgrrrrrrrrrrrrr Sat 17-Sep-11 16:39:41

yabu, your friend did her bit for charity and you did your bit for charity. You wern't helping her so she didn't have to thank you. I personally would have done (and it sounds like you would have as well) because I'm polite but at the end of the day that's not what it's about is it?

A1980 Sat 17-Sep-11 16:40:06

You've done your bit, you donated a big sum once. I wouldn't donate to her again.

zipzap Sat 17-Sep-11 16:53:29

Could you just donate avert small sum, just a pound or two?

Then if she says anything about it you could use it as an opportunity to say that you didn't think she was that bothered about getting money after the lack of thanks last time (obviously you'll be able to word it a bit better) and that you prefer to donate to your own choice of charities.

If you give a tiny amount then it is obvious that you have received her request and done something about it rather than forgotten or decided not to donate anything.

PickleSarnie Sat 17-Sep-11 17:45:09

I don't think Yabu at all. Yes you're not helping her directly and its all for charity but basic manners don't cost anything and a simple thank you takes no time or effort at all.

MangoMonster Sat 17-Sep-11 19:54:06

Maybe she just forgot. I wouldn't expect a thanks but would be nice. Wouldn't put me off doing it again. It's for the charity not for her.

Mitmoo Sat 17-Sep-11 19:58:47

It's for charity, dont be so prissy. Who benefits at the end of the day. We have done a lot of fundraising for CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young). I am sure I have thanked 99% of the people who helped as they helped, but could have well forgotten someone just out of how busy these things are to arrange.

All anyone who helped really cared about was that equipment could be bought to stop young people under 25 and as young as a couple of weeks old from dying from undiagnosed heart conditions.

Are you helping to get recognition/praise or because you want to help those in positions far less well off.

Perhaps she thinks you will know how much she appreciates your help without saying it?

GeorgeEliot Sat 17-Sep-11 20:23:26

It is very rude not to say thank you. And there is nothing to stop you donating to the charity whether or not your friend is doing a fun run if it is a charity you would like to support.
I have an old friend, a former colleague we used to be such good mates that when dh was away she came with me to a scan once, I only ever hear from her now when she is fundraising for something - and then I just get a standardised automatic thanks when I donate. No how are you, how are the kids. So I won't be donating to her fund-raising efforts in future.

MangoMonster Sat 17-Sep-11 20:30:42

Ok, I'm probably going to get flamed, but donating to charity is about helping people not about whether your friend says thankyou or not.

WreckaJones Sat 17-Sep-11 20:45:52

OP Pick your own charities and donate to them. YANBU.

Sandalwood Sat 17-Sep-11 21:11:46

Sometimes it's not just about the charity getting the money, but about encouraging your friend in something.

Mitmoo Sat 17-Sep-11 21:29:15

If you donate you'd give a tenner, maybe £20, if you fundraise, you''d be a part of getting £2k, £3k, £500 possibly for the charity. My opinion is are you doing it for praise from your friend or for the charity.

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