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To not want to listen to this woman's health problems over and over again.

(28 Posts)
prettymuchapixiegirl Fri 16-Sep-11 17:15:19

There is a mum at my daughter's school with a daughter in the same year as DD, who always makes a beeline for me. She is harmless enough, and comes across as friendly but she is the kind of person who just stands and talks "at" you rather than having a 2-way conversation if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I do try to avoid her as much as I can because she talks for ages, it's difficult to get away, and all she talks about is her health problems, which actually don't seem to be that bad at all, if anything I think she is a hypochondriac. She's had something minor wrong with her for the past year, and her GP is trying to find her the correct medication and that's all she talks about along with the side effects (including VERY personal ones) of her medication. It's getting harder to avoid her as our daughter's are in the same class this year and she snatches any window of opportunity to get the hell over to me and talk about her problems. Today she saw me and asked how I was, I said "fine" and she then launched into a spiele about her medication again. I was in a hurry and actually had to say "going to have to cut you short there, we're in a rush today".

I wouldn't mind so much if it was a 2-way conversation and she perhaps wanted opinions or advice or whatever about her problems but I literally cannot get a word in edgeways, and I'm not a quiet person!

AgentZigzag Fri 16-Sep-11 17:19:37

She must need to talk about it for some reason, but I know what you mean about talking at you, which I loathe.

How do you think she'd take it if you just started interrupting her flow?

prettymuchapixiegirl Fri 16-Sep-11 17:21:11

I try, AgentZigZag, but she doesn't listen at all if i say anything she just carries on talking. She reminds me of Mr Chatterbox....

I don't mind listening to peoples' problems to a certain degree but, well, we all have our own shit to deal with don't we, I can't be bothered with all of hers too, especially as she's not really a friend as such.

cheekeymonkey Fri 16-Sep-11 17:21:55

Is that one of her side-affects, having her 'flow' interrupted? grin

AgentZigzag Fri 16-Sep-11 17:27:03

Someone I know who talks as though they're giving a lecture, if they start talking over me, I just carry on and finish what I'm saying in a louder voice grin

It doesn't stop them hmm but it makes me feel as though I have a voice and do exist.

earthpixie Fri 16-Sep-11 17:29:02

She may have borderline Asperger's; her style of conversation fits in with the profile.

Kladdkaka Fri 16-Sep-11 17:30:09

I'm like this, as is my daughter, and my mum and my nan. Classic female aspie trait. blush

Kladdkaka Fri 16-Sep-11 17:30:30


AgentZigzag Fri 16-Sep-11 17:35:52

It might be an AS trait, but that doesn't mean that anyone who can talk the hind leg off a donkey has AS.

prettymuchapixiegirl Fri 16-Sep-11 17:39:09

Interestingly her daughter is being assessed for aspergers amongst other things....

picnicbasketcase Fri 16-Sep-11 17:40:17

There was a woman like this at DS's school, who would tell anyone who'd listen about her incontinence, her unplesant lazy husband and their lack of sex life etc etc. I did feel sorry for her and would listen and be sympathetic but I'm quite glad her son's now in secondary school and I don't see her very often.

prettymuchapixiegirl Fri 16-Sep-11 17:45:14

I get to hear about such delights as the vaginal dryness she has been suffering, lack of sex drive, vomiting (in graphic detail). Honestly first thing in the morning it's enough to put me right off my breakfast

YusMilady Fri 16-Sep-11 17:46:56

YANBU, but if you ever find an effective deterrent for such crashing bores do share it with us all, won't you?

SouthernFriedTofu Fri 16-Sep-11 17:53:18

my mother does that. i just change the subject or ignore her. keep talking and talk loud

prettymuchapixiegirl Fri 16-Sep-11 17:54:45

She seriously is that bad that if I try to change the subject she just doesn't hear, she just talks and talks and talks and talks. So if I said, "Oh what a beautiful day today, have you got anything nice planned?" she would say "well I took X tablet but then that made me so sick, and I couldnt' stop shaking so I went to the doctor" etc etc

AgentZigzag Fri 16-Sep-11 18:00:50

What do you think she gets out of it (if she hasn't got AS) do you think?

Is it the sympathy she's after?

Or maybe likes to be thought of kindly because she's stoical?

thebeansmum Fri 16-Sep-11 18:02:38

Awful. I have the same problem with a lovely Aunt, she's my Mum's SIL. She is very similar to your 'friend' but takes it a step further, I sometimes find myself listening to her rabbling on about her friend's neighbour's daughter's best friend type stories - mainly medical. I DON'T EVEN KNOW THESE BLOODY PEOPLE!!!

It's as irritating as hell, impossible to change the subject and I find it hard to just do the breezy "hi, how are you, fine thanks, gotta rush" that other people do - so I feel your pain! Try standing with a group - safety in numbers and all that!

prettymuchapixiegirl Fri 16-Sep-11 18:02:48

I think she just wants someone to sound off at, AgentZigZag. I can't think what else she could get out of it because she doesn't listen to a word that's said by anyone else, so it's not like she wants advice or sympathy. I've met self-absorbed people before but she is the worst I've ever come across, by far.

Goodynuff Fri 16-Sep-11 18:05:15

Perhaps its time for the 'verbal redirect' You agree firmly with whatever they have just said, then change the topic.

If it is sudden enough, it derails their train of thought, and give you a chance to introduce a more neutral topic.

for instance:
X: hello Y! How are you?
Y: Terrible! My sore back.....blah blah, and it never stops hurting, you know?
X: Yes! I wanted to ask you what you thought about the new math teacher? Does your DD like him?

If she is a talker, she might go on at length, but at least is wont be about her vagina smile

Goodynuff Fri 16-Sep-11 18:05:51

xpost with many blushgrin

Kladdkaka Fri 16-Sep-11 18:05:51

If it is AS, and there is a pretty good chance if they also think her daughter may have it, then being subtle and/or changing the subject won't work. You have to be blunt and tell her to stop and that you do not want to hear about whatever.

Of course it still might not work. I remember one Christmas before DVDs and video when my nan was jabbering on to noone in particular through the big afternoon film, when my uncle turned to her and shout 'MOTHER WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH THE FILM'. 15 seconds of absolute silence and then '......anyway as I was saying'. Arrrrrgh!

prettymuchapixiegirl Fri 16-Sep-11 18:09:32

Kladdkaka I have just laughed out loud at that!!

Goodynuff, funnily enough I tried that tack today, asking her how her daughter was getting on at school this term, and she then said "oooh not very well she hates it, which then is so hard to deal with if I'm ill, but I said to the doctor, if I could just get off these tablets..." and so on and so on

MsVelvet Fri 16-Sep-11 18:09:40

My childminder does this, she would ask me or OH a question and then as soon as we would start to talk she would jump in and turn the whole conversation about her, and then would not shut up. it got to the point that i avoided her if i could and got my OH to do the pick up and drop off. It is crap when some just spends ages talking at you.....They might as well talk to themselves in a mirror as they don't let you respond with anything they say either...

ivykaty44 Fri 16-Sep-11 18:15:17

I read some old letters once that sound similar - the chap kept complaining about his health problems and In the end I thought - oh for goodness sake pull yourself together - the next letter I read was from his wife home explaining the chap had died...

So possibly the health issues where for real blush

BootyMum Fri 16-Sep-11 18:28:03

MsVelvet - your poor child/children sad

Do you think they are able to get a word in edgeways whilst being cared for by your childminder?

Or is it only adults she tortures in this way? grin

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