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AIBU that I'd rather GP watch DD at their own house, rather than ours?

(15 Posts)
Snufflebabe Fri 16-Sep-11 11:51:08

I've just gone back to work, after a year of maternity leave. 4 days a week, 9am - 5.30pm. OH watching DD one day, GP (in laws) watching her the other 3. They live literally 5 mins walk away. I drop them off at their house in the morning, and for the last 2 days, I've picked her up there.

They live in an enormous house, 2 living rooms, 4 bedrooms, garden etc. Our house is technically a 1 bed house, but we have changed a box room into DD bedroom. I am trying to get myself ready for work before DD wakes, so everything is everywhere, but it means the living room is covered in clothes, make up, hairdryer etc.

GP decided yesterday that they would come to our house late afternoon with DD. AIBU that Im really not a fan of people being in my house when I'm not there or not had the opportunity to tidy up prior to them arriving. MIL is very nosey, and I can see she has read through cards, invites etc I've got on display on the fireplace.

It just makes me feel funny. I now feel an added pressure to tidy up in the mornings, just in case they decide to finish the day there! AIBU? Probably!

moogalicious Fri 16-Sep-11 11:54:08

You know YABU!

Your DD has all her toys at your house.

Perhaps GP don't like having their house trashed.

Be grateful you have free childcare.

Flisspaps Fri 16-Sep-11 11:57:37

Why did they need to come to yours?! If they've got toys and changes of clothes etc, then there's no need to be in your house.

If you have nosy ILs that's not the same as those that respect your privacy and aren't likely to go rooting.

Do they only have a front door key? If so, can you bolt/chain the front door and leave through the back? If not, then you could change the keys and not give them a set.

Having free childcare doesn't mean you give up your right to some privacy.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow Fri 16-Sep-11 12:01:47


It makes perfect sense for your dd to be looked after there - the GPs probably want to keep their home looking nice.

Tell your OH to tidy up before they come if you can't be arsed.

moogalicious Fri 16-Sep-11 12:02:07

Having a quick look through a few cards on display doesn't mean someone is going to root through your nooks and crannies wink

YABU, it's better for DD to stay at home where she has all her own toys etc.

My MIL used to look after my DS once a week and she would come to took me a while to get over the panic about having a tidy house but I was able to relax eventually. She isnt nosy though, so I never had the worry about her going through my stuff, not that there is anything exciting in my house to see.

Maybe they dont want their house trashed and yes I agree, be thankful you have free childcare.

sue52 Fri 16-Sep-11 12:03:44

If your ILs are providing child care for 3 days a week free of charge you have no grounds for complaint. Just hide stuff you don't want them to see.

vmcd28 Fri 16-Sep-11 12:19:30

I HAVE to work full-time, so working 5 days a week.
My ds2 is in nursery 3 days a week, which costs £459 a month.

You have free child-care, your dd is with clearly doting grandparents, you are off work 3 days a week yet you're still complaining.
If you're not happy, tell your MIL that you'd rather they didn't use your house (which is U if they have a key, and it's where all dd's stuff is). Or have a crate in the living room which you throw your hairdryer, make-up etc into when you leave in the morning. If that doesn't work, there are plenty of people who'd happily take nearly £500 off you to look after her

herbietea Fri 16-Sep-11 12:30:23

Message withdrawn

TunaTiebacks Fri 16-Sep-11 12:35:57

I don't understand why people get upset about others reading cards that are on display, isn't that part of why they're on display? That doesn't seem nosy to me.

YANBU though, I don't like having folk in my house when I'm not there/haven't tidied either.

WoofToYouTooLady Fri 16-Sep-11 12:38:13

oh, you have a box room?

<dons deerstalker and lights pipe>

SenoritaViva Fri 16-Sep-11 12:42:30

I agree with Tuna that I don't think it is nosy to ready cards that are on display. They are on display. If cards and invites are private then put them away. That said, that doesn't mean your MIL isn't nosy just that I don't think your example backs up that she is.

I can understand your feelings about wanting to keep your house private and that it won't be tidy. Nevertheless I don't think you can stop them, many GPs look after GCs in their own home because the GCs are happier in their own space etc.

You probably need to sit down with DH and work out better systems so that clothes aren't all over the floor etc. (why are they in the living room and not in your bedroom, where you could just close the door).

halcyondays Fri 16-Sep-11 13:10:03

YABU,and you sound rather ungrateful. If you live so close, surely it makes more sense for them to look after her at your house, as all her stuff will be there. They are being kind enough to look after your dd 3 days a week which is a big commitment, you really can't complain.

worraliberty Fri 16-Sep-11 13:13:17


Your house will be child friendly.

The cards on display are just that 'on display' so I don't see the problem there and if you feel embarrassed about having a messy room, tidy it up a bit before you leave.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Fri 16-Sep-11 13:14:24

You are very lucky to have GP's who are willing and able to look after your dd while you work. You can't really start laying down rules about where they look after her.

MY mum looks after my niece and nephew one afternoon a week and does the ironing and cleans out their animalsshock

i am thinking of moving nearer to themwink

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