I have DD (4) and DSs (twins, 14 months) and feel am just out of the baby stage, v busy few years but all sleeping the night, in a great routine and am loving (didn't think i'd get there) being a mother actually!
Had many days/nights with crying, teething twins. Didn't know my own name, let alone have any sense of routine/organisatioN. I realise I let things slip as well discipline wise with my DD (eg. If a 3 year old asks for ice cream at 10am in the morning when you've been up all night, literally, with screaming twins, you tend to say 'whatever')
Anyway, a friend, well she's a work collegue but I'd consider her a friend, used to come and visit a few times when the boys were a few months old. It was supportive and nice I admit, but she (to my mind) spent the time correcting, nagging by DD toddler. If I was stressy with the boys she would be all opinionated about trying to have a calm voice/talk nicely to them as maybe they were picking up on my vibes! I remember once I mentioned that one of the twins was 'more smiley' and she told me 'to watch that as you don't want to compare them' whereas I was only making conversation! (like of course I love and treat them equally!)
She also said once that 'i should give my DD water with her dinner and not diluted orange'. And also, when babies were v small, I set to finger painting for the DD and she was all 'you're doing it wrong' and actually giving out to my daughter as she was sticking her hands into it (as kids do!)
At the time, I didn't say anything as I was too tired/vulnerable and would probably be accused of being a bit post-natal as the flood gates would have probably opened!
Am sure she thought it was being helpful at the time but I found it incredibly annoying!
I know I should let it go (i have really) but she just announced at work she's pregnant with DC1. It was totally unexpected, I think she was trying for years. I'm genuinely excited for her, really I am.
But part of me thinks she'll know all about the challenges of motherhood soon enough.
She's even finding the pregnancy/tiredness tough going and said 'no one ever tells you about it'.
Of course, when the baby comes, I will be supportive but part of me is watching to see how she gets on and if she can actually meet her own high standards.
Does this make me a horrible, spiteful person?
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AIBU?
To be secretly waiting with smug anticipation as 'know it all about kids' friend/work colleague is having her first baby?
12 replies
professorsnape · 16/09/2011 09:54
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