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to be frustrated that parents who aren't at the school gates struggle to find out key info

(32 Posts)
latenightmum Thu 15-Sep-11 23:52:14

so dh & I work, need to work, work for the money... make the most of any time even if just an hour early on a Fri with the kids. Ds1 is like Daddy = smart and so into everything. We chose a school that will suit no end. We pay lots, the uniform is overpriced, we are being hit up for £kitty already etc... £s in the meter to park there... we have chosen to spend all of our disposable income on the kids.

So at the very least I hoped for some clear e-mails... instead it seems that most of the wives can afford not to work & find me strange. Its early days but fed up....

worraliberty Thu 15-Sep-11 23:54:26

Sorry I'm not getting the link here between money and school newsletters?

worraliberty Thu 15-Sep-11 23:54:55

I mean to it school letters you're talking about when you say emails and key info?

AuntiePickleBottom Thu 15-Sep-11 23:55:50

i wouldn't listen to gossips outside the school.

the amount of time i have been given false info outside the school gates it's unreal.

if you got any question or confusing emails just phone the school up or ask the teacher

CaptainNancy Fri 16-Sep-11 00:01:13

Our school communicate everything to parents via letters, notes home etc, I think it's standard.

latenightmum Fri 16-Sep-11 00:04:30

the link is that I spend a lot of money and get no clear comms

i am not outside the school ever I work.... I am frustrated that you need to be linked in to the yummy mummy stuff to understand any of it... anyway never mind I am clearly on my own here. If I'd even named the school my thread would have been deleted so I am giving up. thanks anyway.

BimboNo5 Fri 16-Sep-11 00:05:50

Are you pissed? confused

worraliberty Fri 16-Sep-11 00:08:53

What Bimbo said confused

Are you upset because you're not getting the weekly school newsletter or is it something else?

Emilizz Fri 16-Sep-11 00:10:12

Sorry but I don't understand the connection between emails from the school and wives who can afford not to work & find you strange ?

gillybean2 Fri 16-Sep-11 00:12:46

Most primary schools don't do email newsletters. They tend to send it all home in the book bag or ask the dc to tell you (and in KS1 they usually forget they've been told).

I used to be there to collect ds every day and I got frustrated at the short notice and lack of info. Sometimes it was just a notice stuck on the door on the way in to tell you there's a cake sale or whatever.

Who is collecting your ds1 from school then? Can you not ask them to look out for any notice boards and pass on any messages?

If you're not sure what's going on phone the school and ask how you find out information etc. Give them your email address and ask them to email you any newsletter copies and keep you informed about up coming events etc.
I would have to nag and nag to get details of the inset days. And I wasn't the only working mother who found it frustrating to be told on the friday before half term that the first monday back is an inset day... hmm

AuntiePickleBottom Fri 16-Sep-11 00:13:23

well ask the school, you can always phone the school.

i am outside the school twice a week, but if i have any problems i will phone the school and not listen to the mums who think they know the school

Clary Fri 16-Sep-11 00:16:49

gillybean that's rubbish isn't it re inset days.

They are decided a year in advance at most schools AFAIK. Certainly I have details of our school's insets right through to June next year.

OP I am also not quite sure what you are saying but would advise contacting the school directly to request email/text alerts to crucial info re school.

DownbytheRiverside Fri 16-Sep-11 00:19:25

Increasingly, schools are using Parentmail to send email communications. We use it for everything from parent newsletters, sudden events to trips.
We also have the VLE and the school website.
If it's organised and formal school-related business, you could suggest that your school adopt it.
Parents who wish can still opt for paper copies.
If it's playground cliques and gossip, there's nothing currently to solve that sort of exclusion. sad

DownbytheRiverside Fri 16-Sep-11 00:20:56

gillybean, do you not get the school calendar at the beginning of the academic year> There is no reason why your school needs to be that disorganised, I'd be asking them why and complaining.

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 16-Sep-11 00:21:57

Clary, sadly our school is not so organised and I found out about an inset at the first day in September on the last day in July. I'd been checking the school website regularly and they hadn't announced it.

Still not sure about the OP though confused

gillybean2 Fri 16-Sep-11 00:22:35

Clary I wish it had been like that. Some of the inset days were known about in advance, but at least 2 wouldn't be decided until within the year and then they'd forget to tell us or the newsletter would come out very late with the details on. Hence why I had to nag and nag. I thought I was teh only one until another parent told me that she'd been asking for the details for ages too.

I think the worst lack of notice was to be told the night before that there was a church service the following morning and sorry for the short notice but she hoped we could attend. I'm afraid that I did give the head teacher a piece of my mind on that one and after that she did start to email out newsletters as soon as she'd typed them up rather than just relying on the office to copy then and then the teachers to hand them out.

scottishmummy Fri 16-Sep-11 00:24:06

dont sweat it.i work ft never do pick up,i ignore the wags
any queries i call school office from work,or put note in bag for teacher
you have to accept the school tom-tom drums are invariably gossip and gas

latenightmum Fri 16-Sep-11 00:24:48

we have been using family to pick up. I will be in contact with the school tomorrow. thank you to the genuine people on the thread. Mumsnet is increasingly becoming quite a spiteful place.

piprabbit Fri 16-Sep-11 00:26:02

The school could use e-mail, text messages, school website or good old letters in a bookbag to keep you informed.

It's the school's responsibility to keep you informed, not the other parents.

If you pay the school lots of money - ask them to spend some of it on one of the above solutions.

Clary Fri 16-Sep-11 00:28:12

OP don't think anyone meant to be spiteful, just your posts are not terribly clear - I am still not quite sure what you mean but if you mean that you are not hearing from the school about charity days or insets etc, because the line of communication is a few mums at the school gates - well that's a bit odd and certainly not acceptable.

gillybean2 Fri 16-Sep-11 00:28:15

DownbytheRiverside - school calander!? haha. I found on the PTA the only way to 'agree' dates out of the head was to sit in her office at the start of each term until she agreed when to have the xmas fete, summer fun day etc.
Parents with dc at other school did talk of getting the school calander for the year at the start of term, but no, we didn't get anything more than a termly newsletter (and not always then).

Ds isn't at primary any more and secondary is much better at these things. It was a very small primary school though, and the vast majority of mums didn't work so could turn up for things and be at home at the drop of a hat.

scottishmummy Fri 16-Sep-11 00:30:34

humphy faces and are you drunk was uncalled for
op,establish a chain of communication and expectation with school - thats more authoritative and on the ball than school gate wags

MaryMotherOfCheeses Fri 16-Sep-11 00:33:49

I work full time but having stood in the playground a few times, I'm not quite sure what information gets spread there, there's a lot of parents stood around, unless you're part of a clique talking to a teacher.

If you're not getting info from them then yes, tackle them but I'd say don't use the "I'm paying for it" as a reason as it suggests a sense of entitlement and even in "free" schools your argument still stands. YOu need information and they need to communicate.

latenightmum Fri 16-Sep-11 00:59:28

I'll book an appointment next week as the parents evening tonight made it quite clear that we have no idea what we're meant to be doing & when... simple things like no ballet shoes, wrong uniform, missed notice board. Thanks to everyone that was nice.

annh Fri 16-Sep-11 01:02:56

OP, has your child just started at the school? if so, the people who seem to know what is going on are probably the ones who have older siblings and are just keyed-in to the informal network of mums. It would seem strange that a school where you are paying high fees doesn't have a newsletter or proper means of communication. However, it's early in the term, maybe they haven't got correct details for you and haven't realised yet? I'm sure a phone call to the school office will clear up a lot. But please don't take it out on the parents who collect their children. If you are never there, how do you know that they are all yummy mummies and know everything that is going on?!

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