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To want to poke DH repeatedly with a sharp stick?

(20 Posts)
startwig1982 Thu 15-Sep-11 22:43:05

DS(14 weeks) is usually asleep by 9pm and wakes up at about 6am. I know I'm hugely fortunate yo have such a fab baby!! Anyway, DS has started waking up at 5ish so I was up with him then. He is now not going to sleep and it is fast approaching 11pm. Meanwhile, DH is snoring away next to me-he has work tomorrow, therefore meaning he can't possibly stay awake or get up early!! So AIBU for wanting to poke him with a large sharp stick so that he is enjoying our DS as well?

peterpan99 Thu 15-Sep-11 22:45:36

when my daughter was born and i was up all hours with her, i asked my partner if he would wake up and help me, his reply was that there was no point in both of us being up, which meant he got to sleep hmm

planetpotty Thu 15-Sep-11 22:47:23

Quite simply..... Men smile

shaz298 Thu 15-Sep-11 22:47:29

I must be lucky. My DH has alwayd done the night time stuff. My DS, aged 6, has meds at 3am every night and DH gets up to give it to him smilesmile. I do the early mornings though.

TrillianAstra Thu 15-Sep-11 22:51:50

YABU, poking people with sharp sticks is wrong, especially when they are not doing anything on purpose.

Get DH to try some of those nasal strip things, or some other anti-snoring stuff.

If he refuses to try, then you can poke him with a stick.

nutterbutsquash Thu 15-Sep-11 22:52:53

YANBU but if he's anything like mine, poking with a stick wont' make much difference to the afterhours childcare. I try and make lots of noise during late night feed/changes but nothing seems to penetrate the eye mask and headphones combo that DH uses to get his beauty sleep.

Fairenuff Thu 15-Sep-11 22:54:19

This drives me mad! When you have a child you are both 'on duty' 24/7. It doesn't make a difference if he goes to work is out of the house for several hours a day. You are both awake all day, you are both busy, you both have lots of things that need doing. Why should he get to knock off in the evening or middle of the night. I made sure my DH and I shared 50/50. YANBU get a stick grin

startwig1982 Thu 15-Sep-11 22:55:48

Just wanted to point out that clearly, I'm not going to poke him with a sharp stock as I don't have one to hand... Felt the need to clarify that grin

planetpotty Thu 15-Sep-11 22:58:36

ha ha - get a stick - love it smile

I actually have permission to poke my DH during the night if I want to but I feel bad doing it hmm (im still p'd off at him though!)

How the bloody hell can men sleep through all that racket?? or are they faking hmm

minimisschief Fri 16-Sep-11 07:08:44

to be fair to your dh when he is at work he cannot get in any naps when the baby is asleep during the day. I also get the point that there is no point both people being tired.

try to come up with a system where he will do it all on his days off and will take over when he is back from work.

NinkyNonker Fri 16-Sep-11 08:09:34

Hmmmmm, daytime naps. Someone tell my 13 mo old dd who has never slept for more than 45 mins per nap in her life (and has a mildly insomniac mother) that this is how I'm supposed to avert severe exhaustion.

Fairenuff Fri 16-Sep-11 08:16:53

Daytime naps hmm. Isn't that the only time you get to shower, dress, eat, make phone calls, catch up on housework, check mumsnet your emails, etc. confused grin

LadyMondegreen Fri 16-Sep-11 08:23:20

Is it a two person job to get your DS to sleep? If so, YANBU.

If not, why wake DH?

Just let him know tomorrow that it's his turn next time.

unpa1dcar3r Fri 16-Sep-11 08:28:59

A sharp poke with a stick will undoubtedly wake him up but he'll wake up in a bad mood and still won't help with little one.
He does work FT so unless he has the day off next day I think it's a bit unfair for him to do night stuff.

I gave up trying to wake mine...time he woke up I was up anyway, and I worked PT. My boys never slept anyway really, still don't TBH (both SLD, eldest 14) so you do get used to it!

StopRainingPlease Fri 16-Sep-11 08:57:08

Hmm, dunno on this one. We started out agreeing to share nighttime duties, but in practice, as I was breastfeeding, it turned out to be me all the time.

However, in subsequent years when the kids had nightmares etc. I hid in bed while DH sorted them out. I think he's more than made up for those early days grin.

UsAndTwo Fri 16-Sep-11 09:30:17

When my DC were born I moved into the spare room so that DH could sleep. He was working & I was breastfeeding and I saw no reason why he had to have a disturbed sleep as well - then at least one of us wasn't permanently grumpy. The trade off was that I had a nap as soon as he got home from work each day and had Sat and Sun afternoon to sleep (if needed) whilst he looked after DC. It is a partnership so you just need to find a way that works for both of you. Once I had gone back to work however he was expected to manage 50:50 with any problems at night.

maybells Fri 16-Sep-11 09:46:05

i had a c section so dp helped out a lot for example me taking 5 mins to get from laying flat to sitting up and getting ds out of his moses basket. dp had already got him and was changing his nappy. we would either do one or the other. one would go downstairs and make a feed and one would change his nappy. i must say my dp was fantastic and really knackered himself i cant fault him.
we are a team and without him i couldnt have done it!

acatcalledfelix Fri 16-Sep-11 10:03:08

Poke him! It's a partnership whatever your daytime job seems to be. DS was ill last week and had a couple of nights of not sleeping pretty much at all but DH delt with it as I'm 8m pg and pretty knackered (was still at work last week too). He's actually always been much better then me at being up at night (and going to bed really late) so it does make more sense at times for him to be on night duty.
When the new bub is here and I'm bf again DH certainly won't be snoozing through it. I too have never been able to sleep during the day so can't really catch up when (if?) the baby naps. Plus I'll have a two year old to look after too.

Fairenuff Fri 16-Sep-11 17:35:08

He does work FT so unless he has the day off next day I think it's a bit unfair for him to do night stuff shock

The OP works FT as well unpa1dcar3r looking after the child!

lollipoppet Fri 16-Sep-11 17:43:57

It is so annoying when someone is daring to sleep in front of you when you're tired though, my dp does it all the time on the sofa and it infuriates me! I'd much rather he took himself off to bed out of my sight if he's going to be so rude as to fall asleep!

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