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AIBU?

To be well and truly fucked off with my friend?

51 replies

Fatshionista · 15/09/2011 18:33

Details first. I'm a freelance hairdresser and my friend wanted to go from a dark red to light blonde as I did. She asked to lend £30 for the stuff until the next day but I told her I needed it back for definite as I have a wedding Friday. I told her the risks of damaging her hair with bleach and that as she has psoriasis on the back of her head it's not a good idea and could break the skin but she said she was going to do it anyway but she wanted me to get the back. As a friend I said I would do it and do it for free.

So she comes around and we strip her hair and then bleach. She tells me it burns and has to wash it off after five minutes so her hair is barely ginger. She then tells me to make it blonde and I explain with one bleaching gone I could only get her to strawberry blonde that night. All was fine. I bleached the ends again while being very careful with my tinting brush and then applied an ash blonde. She said she was happy with the colour and would now like a cut.

I cut very slowly and checked with her all the way and she told me it was great and she'd come back in a few days for me to apply a blonde over the top to make it lighter. I worked from 6pm to 1am for free and she left happy.

Yesterday. No text or no sign of money. She text at night saying she would drop it in today lunch time. I text at 3pm and she then text me saying as a friend I did a horrible job, she hates the colour, she hates the cut, her head is weeping and sore and now she has to buy lots of treatment, has to go get it cut short and can't dye for six weeks. She told me it's all my fault even though the risks were explained, she understood and told me she was happy when she left.

I offered to fix it but obviously she doesn't want that. She said she's keeping the £30 and 'we'll call it quits and i won't mention it to your other clients'.

AIBU to think she's an absolute tosser blaming me for this? Sure I should have had better judgement and said no but she is taking no blame for this at all and now she wants to keep the £30 she borrowed even though the wedding is tomorrow and now I can't even afford a drink.

OP posts:

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activate · 15/09/2011 18:37

You did her a favour with fair warnings

She owes you £30

She's a twat and best out of your life

Sookeh · 15/09/2011 18:41

Ooh, I'd love to go blonde for 30 quid. Does she realise how much she would of had to pay at a salon?

YANBU, she's just making excuses to get out of paying you I'm sure.

FetchezLaVache · 15/09/2011 18:41

And I really don't like that threat to try to ruin your business, either. She is a twat. YANBU.

TidyDancer · 15/09/2011 18:43

YANBU. She sounds vile.

TrillianAstra · 15/09/2011 18:44

Can you dye and cut my hair and give me £30 too please?

Assuming you took all sensible precautions and made sure she understood the risks beforehand, YANBU and she is a thief.

Tchootnika · 15/09/2011 18:44

I completely agree with activate.
I have to say, though, I notice a lot of AIBUs about friends taking the piss when they're given as favours what people usually do professionally.
I also used to find when I helped friends out with work things (finding work for them, etc.) it would often go quite wrong, and so I'm now quite strict about this, I don't let there be any middle ground/favours for friends at all.
It just ends up as more trouble than it's worth far too often.

learningtofly · 15/09/2011 18:44

I agree with activate.

I would also add as a psoriasis sufferer myself if you dye your hair with open sores it stings. Every hairdressor I have had has warned me about this and most sufferers will know this anyway.

I choose to suck it up and never complain.

HairyGrotter · 15/09/2011 18:45

YANBU, she is a gonad. Well rid by all accounts.

Fatshionista · 15/09/2011 18:46

I'm so pissed off as obviously all day yesterday she knew she hated her hair so she could have text then and given me some time to find the extra money she took. As it stands it's almost 7pm and I have to be at the brides house to do her hair and make-up at 11am so I'm not exactly rich with time to find money from nowhere.

She thinks she's done no wrong :/.

OP posts:

Groovee · 15/09/2011 18:49

She's an idiot who ignored the warnings from a professional and wanted a freebie. Don't deal with her again over hairdressing and tell her to go to a salon where she'd be lucky to get a wash and blow dry for £30

microfight · 15/09/2011 18:53

I think as a hairdresser you were wrong to do it if she has a skin condition and professionally you thought it was a bad idea. Maybe you weren't wrong but slightly naive to think the outcome would be a happy one.

pigletmania · 15/09/2011 18:54

She sounds like a nasty person, she ignored your warnings and had the gaul to suggest that she would badmouth you to your clients . I would tell her to keep the money and cut the friendship dead, she is no friend.

microfight · 15/09/2011 18:54

I mean you were naive to get involved at all.

AgentZigzag · 15/09/2011 18:56

She might not have said anything for so long because she had to work herself up to it.

She shouldn't have gone ahead after you'd explained the risks, but can you imagine the panic she must have felt once she'd had the thought that she hated her hair?

It's not like she can go back to a business to make a formal complaint, you are her friend and however she says how she feels, it's not going to go down well.

I'm not saying she's in the right, but once her hair was done and there's no going back, she was left in an impossible situation.

And now you are too.

She should pay you what she owes though, and you'll only get that back if you can talk about it with her.

Flowerista · 15/09/2011 18:57

I think it's a real shame that she's taken advantage of you. I shouldnt worry about your other clients - they can fall back on their ongoing ex

Flowerista · 15/09/2011 18:59

Oops

perience of your work. Will the bride be paying you? If not in moneybthen in tasty beverages at the wedding?

Chalk your "mate" down to bad experience. If there's karma her Barnett will drop out altogether.

Fatshionista · 15/09/2011 19:06

No, the bride won't be paying me. She's my best friend so as I can't afford a wedding present I'm doing her hair and make-up plus her two bridesmaids for free.

OP posts:

blodyn83 · 15/09/2011 19:09

Could you play nice for now and ask her, as a friend, to lend you some money for the wedding as she knew you needed it?

missymarmite · 15/09/2011 19:09

What a cheek! So you do her a favour, you explain the possible risks, you talk her through the whole thing, and now you are to blame?

Tell her to take a running jump and don't worry about what she'll say to clients. They will know from their own experiences that you do a good job.

Flisspaps · 15/09/2011 19:10

She should pay you as you've done the work.

However I think you probably should have refused to do it at all given that there was a risk that you could damage the scalp and the hair.

blodyn83 · 15/09/2011 19:12

By the way, I think she's definitely in the wrong, the money she owes you was for the products not your time so she should pay you back. Im just thinking about your more immediate problem of wedding tomorrow...

Fatshionista · 15/09/2011 19:14

I guess I'll have to deal. She has just sent me a photo of a big red patch on her hairline but that wasn't there before she left here so it's either a reaction to something else or a delayed reaction to the peroxide since her scalp is sensitive (even if the psoriasis is only apparent in one area).

Still, my fault.

Ugh, I don't know what to do. I need that money but she's not coughing up so I'll have to cope with that and do what I can tomorrow. To be honest, it's knocked my confidence a little and now I'm worrying about the brides hair and make-up tomorrow. It's just styling but I could be on a roll of bad calls .

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AndiMac · 15/09/2011 19:20

I'd say £30 is a small price to pay to be rid of such a horrible friend. Forget the money and the "friend".

ladyasriel · 15/09/2011 19:21

YANBU totally. Shame you were sucked in by this loathsome person - I'd cease all contact. Sorry about your £30 :(

FabbyChic · 15/09/2011 19:22

She is no friend. To be honest you should never have done it, you say NO I can't do it it will cause you problems. Never do someones hair if you think it could turn out bad, you wouldn't take the risk in a salon.

That aside I think she is lying and just doesn't want to give you the £30.

Tell her fine friend she turned out to be and she can fuck off

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