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To think DH's ex wife is taking the piss regarding maintenance?

(184 Posts)
StickyBlisteredShitHole Thu 15-Sep-11 17:02:04

DH gives his ex wife £150 a month maintanance for their 2 DCs. Just lately she's been asking for him to contribute to this, that and everything else despite the fact that she's got the maintanance. Last night she got her DS to text DH asking him to contribute towards a school trip abroad and now today she's sending him a message asking him to contribute towards a school trip for their other son. Despite this she's booked a holiday abroad for next summer hols and no doubt we'll be expected to contribute towards that too despite the fact that we, as a family can't afford to go anywhere!
AIBU to think she's taking the piss?

Lulumama Thu 15-Sep-11 17:04:40

YABU to think that £150 per month for 2 children is an adequate amount actually. that's £75 per child. that's less than £20 a week, so that won't cover school trips, once they've been fed, clothed etc... so she shouldn't have a holiday when as a single mother, she is going to be run ragged?

you knew he had children when you got married ot him, therefore they and their emotional and financial needs have to be considered until they are adults , and even then , they will be a part of your and your DHs life

usualsuspect Thu 15-Sep-11 17:05:52

Your username is horrible

and yes he should contribute towards his DCs school trips


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Ormirian Thu 15-Sep-11 17:07:22

Blimey! I dread to think what 2 of my DC cost to keep. A great deal more than £150 I suspect. perhaps she's struggling with the increase in the price of everything atm.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 15-Sep-11 17:07:37

It all depends on how much he EARNS?

how much does he earn? Is £150 20% or 25% of it - not sure what the CSA guidelines are but someone on here will know.

£150 is obviously not enough for 2 children and I'm sure there will be plenty of people along to tell you that with really low earning expartners (like ex's who earn 700 a month) they struggle terribly.

meravigliosa Thu 15-Sep-11 17:08:10

£150 a month doesn't sound like a lot, and wouldn't go far towards costs of additional school trips, which should be a shared responsibility. Maybe ex needs to involve CSA or courts.

Not so sure that your DH should be responsible for funding her holiday, however.

TheCrackFox Thu 15-Sep-11 17:09:23

£150 is a fucking joke. It would feed them for a couple of weeks.

What are you doing with this tight wad?

SansaLannister Thu 15-Sep-11 17:09:27

That's next to nothing/month for 2 kids. You knew he had kids when you married him. If you 'as a family' can't afford to go anywhere, then that's your and his lookout.

No, I don't think she's taking the piss.

I think you are.

Hope he's not the sort who treats his kids like second fiddle now he's found a new partner.

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 15-Sep-11 17:09:59

You are being unreasonable. The £150 a month will be for food/ clothing etc. He could always say no to the school trip abroad if he genuinely can't afford it.

squeakytoy Thu 15-Sep-11 17:10:06

He is paying £2.46 per day for each child. Hardly a lot is it.

StickyBlisteredShitHole Thu 15-Sep-11 17:10:17

DH earns minimum wage and we also have a DC to support. I have no problem them being involved in his like but she's obviously living beyond her means and expecting us to fund it.

LoveInAColdClimate Thu 15-Sep-11 17:11:10

I'm afraid your OP (and your nickname) don't make you sound like a very nice person. Could you manage to look after 2 children on £150 a month?

StickyBlisteredShitHole Thu 15-Sep-11 17:11:12

Also he is paying what the CSA told him he had to pay.

SansaLannister Thu 15-Sep-11 17:11:12

You should have thought about that before you had kids with a man who already has a family and earns minimum wage.

SansaLannister Thu 15-Sep-11 17:12:35

Great, CSA told him to pay it, now he has to stump up. Bet if she goes back or gets a lawyer, they'll say he has to pay for part of the trips, too.

Tough shit. He should have thought about it, too, before he went sprogging other people up. Hope he's had the snip. He can't afford to have any more kids from the sound of it.

CurrySpice Thu 15-Sep-11 17:13:19

I was otally aghast at £150 a month and your amazement that she might want some more!

£150 a month is less than £3 a day...for 2 kids...

How is she suposed to even feed them for that - let alone clothe them, or pay for even the most basic of extras, let alone luxuries

LaurieFairyCake Thu 15-Sep-11 17:13:58

if he's paying what the CSA told him to pay then that's fine - he should pay that.

He must earn a really low wage though to only be paying £150 a month (maybe earning £700 a month hmm)

Maybe he could work more hours so he can pay more for his children as that's a very low wage?????

StickyBlisteredShitHole Thu 15-Sep-11 17:14:40

Well we're not exactly living a life of luxury either. If she's struggling maybe she shouldn't be booking foreign holidays when she can't afford to pay for school trips.

NinkyNonker Thu 15-Sep-11 17:14:46

This is not going to end well.

Op. Yabu. On many levels.

MrsSleepy Thu 15-Sep-11 17:14:57

£150 is nothing for 2 kids!! You knew he had children and has to pay for them but you have another one and choose to moan about it and as always the Ex gets the blame...

BluddyMoFo Thu 15-Sep-11 17:15:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oldraver Thu 15-Sep-11 17:15:41

CSA rates are 20% for two children, so if he is paying £150 then you are saying he has a net monthly income of £600 ? If its more than you are getting off lightly and are BU

MrsSleepy Thu 15-Sep-11 17:15:44


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