My kids are being a nightmare in the mornings despite a fairly strict schedule that I've put together. I'm thinking a family meeting, where we can list what needs to be done in the morning and decide on a time table together might help. I've mentioned it to DH and he just makes faces but has no other useful solutions. He says if I go ahead with this idea, I am forcing him to do something he doesn't want to. I say we'll have the meeting anyhow, at a time he's at home and it's his choice if he attends or not. AIBU?
YANBU. What an odd response from DH. What's his solution to the nightmare kids problem? Does he generally duck out of any type of confrontation and leave it all to you? Do you think the children sense the division and play up to it?
Let me guess - despite them being a nightmare in the mornings, DH is up and off with little input?
YANBU to want to have family meeting, YABU to tell him he doesn't have to attend. I expect you probably don't want to have to basically tell your children to buck their ideas up because he doesn't want the inconvenience of having to parent his own kids!
DH is usually pretty good in the mornings at sticking around and helping with the kids. He's frequently late to work because he stays behind to help me. This morning he stayed upstairs for 20 minutes with the younger two trying to get them to put their socks on. He doesn't duck out of confrontation because I don't let him but he really doesn't like arguing. He doesn't have any solutions apart from trying more of the same- cajoling, encouraging, standing over tantrumming kids with a bit of yelling. I'm not sure why he's being so anti about family meetings but he's often 'pigheaded and stubborn' if he doesn't like the idea of something. I'm not telling him he doesn't have to attend but I can't force him to, can I?
how old are your kids? from their behaviour they sound really young but I'm guessing for a family meeting to work they must be older? why doesn't your dh want to have the meeting? all sounds v stressful
Pigheaded and stubborn dad produces tantrumming kids.... now there's a thing. Getting children to agree to better behaviour is rarely sucessful if they know mum and dad have different opinions but better to go ahead, lay the law down and say 'back me up afterwards' than to do nothing.
Kids are 3, 5 ,8 and 9- so old enough not to tantrum really but they still do! He doesn't want the meeting as it's not 'his choice.' If he can come up with something better I'm happy to go with that, but he thinks thinsg are fine as they are. They are not!
Well, if he won't agree to a family meeting, how about you just decide what has to be done, print up the new set of rules, and tell him that if he's not prepared to have a meeting to debate the issue, these will be the rules from now on?