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to think that a man asking a woman to "call him" is a bit lame?

(16 Posts)
MummyCubed Thu 15-Sep-11 01:08:38

I am by no means old fashioned when it comes to romance/sex, but AIBU to think that a man, after sending a lot of text messages, and who obviously has the money, should ask a woman to call him? I'm not talking about emergencies, or just expecting to be given a call every so often so he knows the woman is thinking about him, I mean if he blatantly asks her to call him when he could easily just call her himself. A friend of mine tells me this is commonplace and DN told me that her boyfriend NEVER calls her and even sends her messages saying "you can call me now" ! (alarm bells ringing for me re that one I'm afraid). IMO it just sounds cheap and it's put me off this new man of mine. What do you think?

LeBOF Thu 15-Sep-11 01:11:43

I suppose it could be because they want to know the other person actively reciprocates their interest, which is fair enough.

In your DN's case though, he is just a cheapskate.

chocolaterainbow Thu 15-Sep-11 01:14:19

it's not something that would ruffle my feathers at all... maybe he's trying to give you some controll over the situation, as in, call me now if you cas, 'cos he might be worried your in the middle of something, he's disturbing you etc? so yeah, in my opinion yabu..

anyway, doesn't everyone have contracts now anyway?

and... if that's all it takes for you to go off him, are you really that intrested? just sayin' ?

chocolaterainbow Thu 15-Sep-11 01:15:16

(oh 'scuse my lazy spelling)

MummyCubed Thu 15-Sep-11 01:16:37

Yep, thought so. And he knows that she is so obsessed with him that she will call him at the drop of a hat. I'm a bit worried actually, she is constantly staring at the phone and doesn't seem to see her friends much any more..oh well, we've mostly all been there at one point I guess.

I don't mind if it's just because he wants to know I'm equally keen, but then again I wouldn't send a man (or anyone) a text saying call me, I would just call them and if it was voicemail leave one or send a text explaining why I'd called.

MummyCubed Thu 15-Sep-11 01:21:08

Well, it's difficult to say really chocolate (whether I'm that into him or not, that is) I've only just left "D"H and although it's been fun dating again recently, I guess I have to admit I'm a bit wary of all of them at the mo.

Perhaps IABU, after all I did ask. But what if they expect you to do most of the calling? And most comms from them are texts? Is that reasonable..?

LeBOF Thu 15-Sep-11 01:21:55

It is the mark of the skint or the stingy.

chocolaterainbow Thu 15-Sep-11 01:28:13

Nothing wrong with being a bit wary I suppose.
heh, maybe get in first next time (or all the time?) and text asking him to call you, see what happens?

LDNmummy Thu 15-Sep-11 01:46:06

Sorry but I think YABU.

Phone credit is very expensive and we live in times of equality. If it is always the woman calling the man then that is of course cheap, but if it is a two way street, it doesn't matter. But it all depends.

When I first started seeing my DH, he still used a pay as you go phone and I had a contract with tons of minutes. He would drop ring me and I would call him back, why should he waste money when I had so many free minutes to ring him.

We have had that same arrangement right up until a few months ago when he got his first contract phone and now he calls me obviously.

It didn't mean he was cheap, it was just practical. He spent plenty of money on me with other things like dinners out and other recreational stuff, it was just our arrangement.

SouthernFriedTofu Thu 15-Sep-11 02:08:03

I think telling anyone to call you is cheeky. Gender is irrelevant

LDNmummy Thu 15-Sep-11 02:23:59

But saying that it was my idea to begin with and we were already seeing each other by then. Before that we used to talk online pretty much all the time.

But I do think each situation is different.

MumblingRagDoll Thu 15-Sep-11 10:03:50

I haven't thought about it....my DH calls me to say he's leaving work and will be back soon.

He hasn't asked me to call him...it IS a bit odd now you mention it.

StrandedBear Thu 15-Sep-11 10:07:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BCrook Thu 15-Sep-11 10:07:59

Seems a little odd to me. I don't know how i'd react to the situation if it arised personally confused

TrillianAstra Thu 15-Sep-11 10:25:57

It's not about man/woman.

A woman saying "you can call me now" rather than just calling herself, or saying "call me because I don't want to use up my credit" is just as odd or cheapskate as a man doing it.

MummyCubed Thu 15-Sep-11 17:37:12

OK, yep I'll take that back - it doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman, because I'd feel just as funny about it if it was a female friend who said it.

LDNmummy, I see where you're coming from but as you say it's a different situation - you suggested it and it made a lot of sense. But I'm talking about someone who obviously has the money and who doesn't mind texting all the time yet expects me to call, every time. On the other hand, he seems to be very keen and gets stroppy if I don't answer his texts immediately, so the usual mixed messages.

Stranded - that's the thing: I wouldn't ever ask anyone to call me in that way, so I can't really compare in the sense of "I would do it to him, why can't he do it to me" IYSWIM.

Re DN's boyfriend, yes definitely skint yet he doesn't mind spending what money he has got down the pub!

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