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How would you cook an elephants trunk?

(30 Posts)
DonaldMcronald Wed 14-Sep-11 21:22:01

4am this morning while nursing newborn my mind started wandering and I got to thinking how to cook an elephant. The only thing you can do with the ears is to deep fry them and serve with a sweet chilli dip
The trunk I would stuff with a blue cheese and walnut stuffing and roast it to get a nice crackling then serve it in inch thick rounds

A winning dish for come dine with me

PonceyMcPonce Wed 14-Sep-11 21:23:08

I fear you are very sleep deprived!

Kayano Wed 14-Sep-11 21:24:11

What about the other courses?

DonaldMcronald Wed 14-Sep-11 21:25:13

The other courses I will do tommorow

Shutupanddrive Wed 14-Sep-11 21:26:50

You would need a very big pot

Barmix Wed 14-Sep-11 21:27:11

Elephants are my favourite animals and this has made me cry sad

Perhaps you need some more sleep, OP?!

onepieceofcremeegg Wed 14-Sep-11 21:27:25

You could of course make a soup with the tail - a bit like oxtail but chunkier?

You could get some nice chunky steaks off an elephant. smile

Hope you get a lot more sleep tonight. also eat plenty (not necessarily elephant) wink. If you are dreaming/over thinking about food you may well be hungry/undernourished.

peeriebear Wed 14-Sep-11 21:28:57

The legs are sent to kebab shops, where they are gradually shaved into pittas and sold with chilli sauce to drunks.

Hassled Wed 14-Sep-11 21:30:31

I think you could use the ears as a sort of tortilla.

RedOnion Wed 14-Sep-11 21:33:18

You would hack it up and bung it in the slow cooker of course.

Very much on board with the idea of ears as tortillas.

Or...get some sleep grin

RedOnion Wed 14-Sep-11 21:34:11

peeriebear - are you somehow insinuating that I eat elephant kebabs after two shandys on a Friday? The chilli sauce does cover the leathery elephanty taste somewhat.

Psammead Wed 14-Sep-11 21:34:44

Like calamari.

caramelwaffle Wed 14-Sep-11 21:36:12

I think you have made me feel a little bit sick...envy <<< sick face

ViviPru Wed 14-Sep-11 21:38:09

We have a basset hound. We often amuse ourselves by contemplating how we would prepare her massive ears for the table...

LynetteScavo Wed 14-Sep-11 21:39:34

Like calamari? Would it have two holes, like a figure of 8?

dementedma Wed 14-Sep-11 21:42:16

spit roast it over an open fire.

Crosshair Wed 14-Sep-11 21:43:10

Chopped into chunks. Maybe a nice stew?

Psammead Wed 14-Sep-11 21:43:48

Nooo Lynette. No, no, no.

See it's only the front bit of the trunk that has two holes. They go straight into one after that, like a big tube.

Well known made up fact.

ChocolateTeacup Wed 14-Sep-11 21:45:53

Elephant Stew

Don't get me wrong, I love animals and this recipe was given to me as a laugh, so have a smile with me. This dish takes about 2 to 3 months to prepare.
Note: Under no circumstances do we kill elephants for food in South Africa. All elephants exist protected in their natural habitat in our game parks. When the parks become overpopulated (elephants are very destructive to the flora) they are either re-located or undergo planned culling.

Ingredients

1 Elephant
10 Warthog
100 kilogram tomatoes
half ton potatoes
2 bags onions
100 kilogram salt
1 wheelbarrow onions (heaped)
10 liter vinegar
20 liter chutney
4 Guineafowl

Method

Hunt the elephant, warthog and guineafowl. Hang guineafowl to ripen. Cut elephant into edible chunks, (will take about a month). Boil the warthog with other ingredients (except guineafowl) till nice and juicy. Now boil elephant chunks over high flames till tender. (will take about 4 weeks) and add everything together. Boil for another 5 to 7 days.

Produces about 3,500 helpings.

Note: If the above isn't enough, add the guineafowl as well.

BlueMoon1981 Wed 14-Sep-11 21:46:15

Poor elephant, why would that even cross your mind sad and poor bassett hound, we have one of those too.

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours Wed 14-Sep-11 21:46:23

You could always slice it up quite thinly, dunk the bits in batter then deep fry in a squid ring styleee.

Pass them around as canapes.

SarahStratton Wed 14-Sep-11 21:49:46

Stuff it, like a super giant meaty marrow? hmm

ViviPru Wed 14-Sep-11 21:53:20

Do you, BlueMoon? Surely you must sometimes sometimes contemplate those huge, silky tabs and consider alternative used for them? Mittens? coasters?

ViviPru Wed 14-Sep-11 21:53:50

*uses - gah

iFailedTheTuringTest Wed 14-Sep-11 21:55:49

Raw, with wasabi

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