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over bridesmaids dress argument?

(124 Posts)
doublechocchip Wed 14-Sep-11 17:55:10

I am getting married in 7 weeks I bought my bridesmaids dresses in february, all tried on and said they were happy with them. I have 4 bridesmaids who are size 8, 10 , 12 and 22 so it was really hard finding dresses that they would all feel comfortable in. I wanted a chocolate brown as we are getting married in autumn, not satin as it isnt flattering for a lot of people and not strapless as I hate seeing bridesmaids hoiking up their dress all day.

Now this weekend my mum has said she hates the dresses and has been telling my sister who is a 10 that is does her no favours so obviously she is really worrying about it now. I am sure it is because my mum is a label snob and knows how much these dresses cost and therefore isnt enough. The price to me wasnt really an issue although wanted to try and keep it under £100ish. AIBU in telling my mum it is now her problem and she can sort it out, Im already a bit stressed out with all the final details, dd starting school and ds starting pre-school. It is now too late to order any made dresses from reputable countries just from places like china where I hear really mixed reviews and cant buy off the peg at places like coast as they only go up to an 18. Am really angry at my mum to have waited till now to tell me she hates them and turning my sisters against them AIBU?

SheWhoMustNotBeFlamed Wed 14-Sep-11 17:56:49


larks35 Wed 14-Sep-11 17:58:13

Of course YANBU. Tell your mum she is welcome to go and find (and pay for) alternative dresses if she wants but that it is too late for you to do anything about now.

squeakytoy Wed 14-Sep-11 17:58:55

Hang on.. is it your mums wedding or yours?


It doesnt matter if your mother hates them, a)she isnt wearing one of them and b) she presumably got a say in the bridesmaids dresses at her own wedding.

Chocolate brown sounds fine to me, as it can be accessorised nicely, and will probably complement your own dress very well.

You are happy, the bridesmaids are happy. Tell your mum to stop interefering or get her credit card out.

rookiemater Wed 14-Sep-11 17:59:42

YANBU your mother is being very inconsiderate. Tell her if she hates them so much she can source and pay for replacements or alternatively if your sister doesn't want to wear the dress that she agreed that she was happy with then she can cease to be a bridesmaid.

FetchezLaVache Wed 14-Sep-11 18:00:39

I think your mum's being a bit tactless and rude, tbh, but I think in her own mind, she probably imagines she's saving you from making a massive mistake. If your bridesmaids all like their dresses, and you like them too, I think you should tell your mum to do one. Can you get your sis round and try the dress on again, with a glass or two of wine for some sisterly bonding, to lay her mind to rest that it is actually flattering? And more importantly, can you find a picture of the dresses for us so that we can lay your mind to rest?

seaweedhead Wed 14-Sep-11 18:02:41

YANBU - its none of your mum's business really is it? If you like them and the bridesmaids are happy with them that's all that matters.

Bathsheba Wed 14-Sep-11 18:02:43

Are you and the rest of your bridesmaids (apart from your sister I mean) 100% happy and confident about your choices (I speak as a size 24 girl who would die to be asked to be a bridesmaid and I would only do it for a lovely considerate loving friend like you clearly are)...

Repeat after me - "Mum, the girls and I are very happy with our dressese"...

whattodoo Wed 14-Sep-11 18:04:15

The very last thing I'd do is change the dre
You've chosen a colour and style that you and the bridesmaids were happy with. You've probably got huge financial commitments and little spare cash.
Tell your nun to stop causing problems. Ask your sis to get a good friends opinion about how she looks in the dress. But tell her you neither have time nor money to change the dresses now.
Then, 3 days before your wedding tell your mum you hate her mother of the bride outfit.

whattodoo Wed 14-Sep-11 18:05:59

Mum, not nun

doublechocchip Wed 14-Sep-11 18:06:15

ok here goes link....

hope that worked! Obviously without awful choker! Have got them ivory and gold wraps and gold shoes (a muted gold not brashy) Just really liked the way material fell as thought it looked flattering on all shapes/sizes....await varying opinions!

doublechocchip Wed 14-Sep-11 18:07:16

Cheria Wed 14-Sep-11 18:09:51

That's gorgeous. YANBU to be annoyed. I think that's the kind of dress that everyone can wear, especially with the accessories you describe.

MissPenteuth Wed 14-Sep-11 18:09:58

Here smile

blushingm Wed 14-Sep-11 18:10:03

i think that dress is lovely! - i'd tell your mum to bog off!

FetchezLaVache Wed 14-Sep-11 18:10:25

Here it is

Well, I think that's lovely! And I can't see how it could fail to flatter someone who's size 10.

BTW whattodoo's suggestion re mother of bride outfit is sheer genius!

hillyhilly Wed 14-Sep-11 18:10:39

I think the dresses are lovely and that you are right, the shape, cut and fabric, will suit and flatter all sizes, I love the previous idea of telling your tactless mother a couple of days before the wedding that you hate her outfit! Obviously that would be too nasty but it might be a good point to suggest to her how she might feel if you were to do that.
Ignore her YANBU!!

HairyGrotter Wed 14-Sep-11 18:10:42

Ooo might get one for myself

doublechocchip Wed 14-Sep-11 18:11:54

Thanks very much MissPenteuth am not too hot on the old linking! Yes thats the one just scroll across for the brown.

AuntieMaggie Wed 14-Sep-11 18:12:36

They look nice to me!

Imnotaslimjim Wed 14-Sep-11 18:13:29

i think thats really nice. I'm a size 22 and I would like that, especially with a wrap. Tell your mum to keep her nose out. I think that maybe she didn't get dresses she liked for her own wedding and is projecting. Enjoy your day

squeakytoy Wed 14-Sep-11 18:14:19

They are lovely flattering dresses. Not too OTT and very similar to the dresses I had for my own bridesmaids.

LadyMontdore Wed 14-Sep-11 18:14:28

They look nice, pretty dresses. Also may get more than one wear. Totally with you on the dislike of satin and strapless, that look is unflattering and a cliche.

ENormaSnob Wed 14-Sep-11 18:15:25

That dress is lovely.

Nowt to do with your mum anyway.

pineappleupsidedownpudding Wed 14-Sep-11 18:16:16

They are lovely, good choice.

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