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To be annoyed that DH & I weren't invited to lunch?

(37 Posts)
PollyPeppa Tue 13-Sep-11 21:40:16

My mum, her step daughter, my brother & his GF all went out for lunch at pizza express today.

I called Mum this morning as we were going to pop round with some things for her, we chatted for a while and she said she was going out for lunch with someone very vaguely & changed the subject.

We usually all go out together and I just feel a bit left out TBH. Only found out they all went out as we drove past them coming out of the restaurant.

amIbeingdaft Tue 13-Sep-11 21:42:32

Hmm, that's odd. There'll be a reason. have you phoned your mum and asked her why?

KittyFane Tue 13-Sep-11 21:43:03

sad ask her why when you next see her sad

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls Tue 13-Sep-11 21:43:20

Firstly aren you sure they were all together and hadn't accidentally met up there?
Secondly have you got anything big coming up? Birthday? anything that they may have been surprising you?
Thirdly - do you usually have a good reltaionship - sounds like they don't usually not include you?

KittyFane Tue 13-Sep-11 21:43:22

X post

DoMeDon Tue 13-Sep-11 21:44:36

YABU to be annoyed - they can all choose to lunch with whoever they wish and you have no 'right' to be invited.

Having said that, if you usually all go together and have been excluded, it is odd and I would call to ask about it.

CrackerFactory Tue 13-Sep-11 21:44:59

You must ask your mum so you can stop worrying about it. I am sure there is a good explanation.

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Tue 13-Sep-11 21:45:32

Maybe your mum was going to meet someone and invited the others along as a last minute thing?

PollyPeppa Tue 13-Sep-11 21:46:33

I texted her with a phone number she asked for and on the end added that I saw them and did they have a nice lunch, she simply said yes, it has been arranged since last week.

TBH it's not so much not being invited more the fact she didn't mention it to me confused

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Tue 13-Sep-11 21:48:15

Oh not last minute then. I would just text back something casual like 'It's a shame you didn't tell us we'd have joined you if we'd known' and see what she says.

DoMeDon Tue 13-Sep-11 21:54:50

Don't text - it's the road to nowhere - phone and ASK her.

PollyPeppa Tue 13-Sep-11 21:56:05

I don't really want to talk to her right now, maybe an overeaction but I just feel a bit sad that she didn't tell me. Our DS would have loved to see them all and tell them all about his first day at nursery yesterday

pleasenap Tue 13-Sep-11 21:57:05

I would feel quite hurt by that tbh if you live in the same area. Was anyone else (immediate fam) excluded from the gathering? Could be a good reason for it though - so only way is to ask your mum about it directly.

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Tue 13-Sep-11 21:57:37

but there might be a perfectly reasonable explanation and you won't find out if you won't talk to her.

DoMeDon Tue 13-Sep-11 21:57:40

Can you think of ANY reason you weren't invited then? Maybe they wanted adults only lunch or they don;t see each other as much as you or thought you'd be busy. is best to calm down - you're entitled to your feelings smile

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Tue 13-Sep-11 21:58:46

And phoning is probably better but I would feel silly phoning to ask why someone hadn't invited me somewhere. I'm braver over text.

PollyPeppa Tue 13-Sep-11 22:02:44

Have just spoken briefly to my mum, I said it's a shame we would have like to come too, she said my brother had asked her and she it wasn't her call to invite us ...although she did invite step sister herself...

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Tue 13-Sep-11 22:04:23

That's weird she said she couldn't invite you but could invite your ss. Do you get on with your brother?

DoMeDon Tue 13-Sep-11 22:05:02

Maybe he wanted some alone time with his mum? Step back. I would spend time thinking why it makes you feel so bad that you weren;t invited.

Hope you feel a bit better.

ThePrincessRoyalFiggyrolls Tue 13-Sep-11 22:05:28

How old is stepsister?

PollyPeppa Tue 13-Sep-11 22:08:02

She's around our age, a bit younger. Yes DB and I get on really well but my mum is a bit of a manipulator

irrationalfury Tue 13-Sep-11 22:19:29

Yeah it's sounding more and more like your brother had something he wanted to say.

Back off a bit, don't try to guilt trip your mum. If it's unusual then it's fine - to be honest my parents leave me out of every single family occasion and it hurts like mad, so I am probably a bit jealous that you're used to being included.

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop Tue 13-Sep-11 22:29:15

I think you need to speak to your brother to see if he has an issue. If not then it could just be an oversight. Maybe he thought your mum would ask you and she thought he would.

banana87 Tue 13-Sep-11 22:31:04

I would be annoyed. Why couldn't you come/why weren't you invited? YANBU to have had your feelings hurt.

thisisyesterday Tue 13-Sep-11 22:31:58

if i invited my mum out for lunch i'd find it a bit odd if my brother had a problem with that.
I suspect he would feel the same if it was the other way around too...

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