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according to this journalist married mums should be encouraged to stay at home with baby whereas single mums should be made to go to work!

(88 Posts)
toptramp Tue 13-Sep-11 07:30:14

In the Sunday times main newspaper. We should ALL get less help with childcare costs because a woman's place is in the home but as single mums are not proper women but welfare queens (as the article implies) they should be made to go to work.

AIBU to think this is a load of bollocks? I am a single mum and I work because i love my job and being a sahm would drive me mental plus of course I need the cash. However, childcare costs are expensive. AIBU that a woman should be encouraged to CHOOSE if she works or not until the child goes to school?

I do think if a women wants to stay at home with baby that is great too and should be valued as an honourable occupation but if a married women wants to go back to work after securing a long fought-for career, that should be encouraged too.

Ok we do live in difficult times but taking women out of the workforce because they can't afford the childcare is NOT going to help the economy or encourage growth.

MrsVidic Tue 13-Sep-11 07:32:50

I think being a sahm should be a choice but onethe family can reasonabley afford.

Andrewofgg Tue 13-Sep-11 07:36:27

The price of a free press is that a lot of bollocks gets printed with toxic chemicals on bits of tree.

PuspornInBoots Tue 13-Sep-11 07:37:08

It's like when a man is left to raise children as a single parent, "everyone" bends over backwards to keep him at work. It's taken for granted he will go to work and the whole world will help him arrange childcare and sort everything out to make it as easy as possible for him. When a woman is left to raise children alone though, the prevailing thought seems to be "oh well she'll have to give up work" and she has to sort everything out herself. Then if she does give up work she's castigated, and if she uses childcare so she can go to work.. guess what? she's castigated again.
The opposite of this is that SAHM's (with partners who work) aren't really even treated as citizens at all - no maternity pay, publicly decribed as "a problem" by a leading politician and so on.
Basically, women cannot win! Whatever we do, it's wrong.

toptramp Tue 13-Sep-11 07:39:43

Yup. I'ts poo. I did stay at home with baby for the first year and I'm so glad I did but I did feel like a non-contributor/benefit scum type even though I will always value the time.

toptramp Tue 13-Sep-11 07:40:20

Journalists just love to lampoon mums as do the tories and this journo was a tory no doubt.

aldiwhore Tue 13-Sep-11 07:40:22

I think one wage should be enough to support a family (2 adults, 2 kids) for the basics... a second income should be enough to provide luxury, then people have real choice. I also don't care who gets that one wage, mum or dad.

'Single mums' are a tough one, as if it isn't tough enough, I do believe in helping them provide for their children, and absent fathers should pay support as well, but they have less choice by the very fact there's only one adult in the family home. I don't believe the bad press single mums get, most aren't in that situation through choice and I think they mostly do a bloody good job.

I absolutely hate the idea of the state supporting anyone able to work, long term, 100% of the time though. I do think 'something' needs to be done about career claimants, but I think it should involve carrots as well as sticks.

flimflammery Tue 13-Sep-11 07:40:50

YANBU
But really, don't get worked up about a load of tosh printed in a vaguely right-wing newspaper. It's just one idiot journalist's opinion. Or have we all been sucked into a black hole and spat out again in 1951?

JillySnooper Tue 13-Sep-11 07:43:18

Well, I'd go mental being a WOHM so I SAH.

Do what the hell you want, but please don't expect other taxpayers to pay for your choices through free childcare or benefits.

toptramp Tue 13-Sep-11 07:46:57

I think once the kids are in school there is no excuse for people to stay at home unless you are well supported by a high earning dp. Ok so that's not fair. I would say everyone should go to work once the kids are in school, but I know that will upset some people. Or at least people should be encouraged to have some sort of occupation.

toptramp Tue 13-Sep-11 07:47:45

But people who don't work aren't paying taxes to support others who don't.

Whatmeworry Tue 13-Sep-11 07:47:53

Person in Sunday Times newspaper writes story bashing single mums shock horror grin

Yanbu and Yawn.....

blackeyedsusan Tue 13-Sep-11 07:48:47

what would he prefer, that we stayed together until he threw something that killed me, or thumped me when he was driving, but this time on the motorway so he killed us all? the journo obviously does not live in the real world and has not engaged his one braincell to think that there are many reasons why women end up single.

HairyGrotter Tue 13-Sep-11 07:49:19

I was a welfare queen high fives self until I decided to get back into education to better myself. So by the time my DD starts school full time, I'll have a degree and work in Sainsbury's.

The article is toxic bollocks.

toptramp Tue 13-Sep-11 07:49:30

I do believe that people should have a choice within reason tbh. I do think childcare should be accesible to all. that's all. I guess that's where school comes in.

aldiwhore Tue 13-Sep-11 07:53:33

Hairygrotter giggle. So true. I bettered myself and bloody Sainsbury's still won't have me! shock

HairyGrotter Tue 13-Sep-11 07:59:28

I'll just pretend I've been a 'single mum on benefitzzzzz' on my CV (keep the 10 full years that I worked as a secret) so I can land that supermarket job!

aldiwhore Tue 13-Sep-11 08:01:59

I worked there when I was 15, I'll definitely keep quite about that, I was the one who accidently repriced all the bacon to 1p a pack... hmm, rethink in order.

HairyGrotter Tue 13-Sep-11 08:03:27

Try Tesco? I'm keeping all my options open, got to be realistic about these degrees wink

TwoIfBySea Tue 13-Sep-11 08:06:38

Here's another waste-of-space single mum here with a degree & a not well paid job (but not in Sainsbury's!)

I'd like said journo to speak to my doc, I've been off sick the past 2 months after coming whisper close to a complete break-down. Looking after kids, elderly parents, a workplace that isn't so nice finally got me. In olden days I suppose journo could have had the pleasure of burning me as a witch.

Oh & I was a SAHM until dts (now 9) went to school & exdh walked out on us. Funny no one takes into consideration the mental strain of all that though.

TwoIfBySea Tue 13-Sep-11 08:06:38

Here's another waste-of-space single mum here with a degree & a not well paid job (but not in Sainsbury's!)

I'd like said journo to speak to my doc, I've been off sick the past 2 months after coming whisper close to a complete break-down. Looking after kids, elderly parents, a workplace that isn't so nice finally got me. In olden days I suppose journo could have had the pleasure of burning me as a witch.

Oh & I was a SAHM until dts (now 9) went to school & exdh walked out on us. Funny no one takes into consideration the mental strain of all that though.

lesley33 Tue 13-Sep-11 08:06:59

I kind of agreed with most of the article. I think she was basically saying that is crazy for the Government to spend lots of money making childcare affordable for the under 5's, rather than enabling people to stay home with their children. If mums/dads want to work, but aren't getting childcare benefits, then thats fine.

I personally think it is crazy that the Government spends so much money getting both parents of under 5's into work including paying for nurseries, etc.

ChristinedePizan Tue 13-Sep-11 08:09:53

It's interesting in a country where there is rising unemployment that 'get a job' is so easily trotted out as a solution.

JillySnooper Tue 13-Sep-11 08:10:23

Toptramp, I don;t do paid work ( all kids in school) but I do a to of other voluntary and own non profity businessy stuff. And I have a very high earning DH.

Why is it any of your beeswax if I earn or not? especially as DH pays more tax in a year than most people earn in several.

lesley33 Tue 13-Sep-11 08:12:41

Jilly - I don't think you need to justify yourself. How you live has no affect on anyone else, so I don't think it matters whether you do voluntary work or spend every day watching tv or shopping.

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