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AIBU?

to NOT pay HER parking ticket?

80 replies

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 11/09/2011 21:13

Today, dp, my mums, our dcs and my moh went to a wedding fayre.

I went in the car with moh as squishing between to carseats isn't much fun.

We had some trouble finding parking, I'd already offered to pay parking as she was coming for me iyswim (didn't offer fuel as it was 5min drive, I'd have walked it she offered to drive)

Anyway long story short we couldn't find a space. Dp found some in a 30min only area. I asked friend if she wanted to park elsewhere she said no were fine, its a small fayre and we were going for a specific stand. Stupidly we were 5mins late to cars and got ticketed.
£30 fine each.

So we leave all fine. She then joins us in our car for another fayre this afternoon as my mum couldn't come. Spent 5hrs together. No more said about the ticket, we drop her home and 5mins later she texts me.

"What are you doing about this ticket, I haven't got £30"

I'm not even going to enter into her idea of skint as there's already a thread on the same basis, but I'm sure the two pairs of uggs she ordered yesterday and the £100 trainers today weren't necessary.

Anyway AIBU to ignore the message and if she asks me face to face refuse to pay it.

OP posts:

Report

aquafunf · 11/09/2011 21:16

yanbu- its her car and she chose to drive and park where she did.

amIbeingdaft · 11/09/2011 21:17

Erm...I think you should split it, to be honest. I would, and have, in similar situations.

slavetofilofax · 11/09/2011 21:17

YABU to refuse to pay it, you offered to pay for parking, and it was an event that was all about you. You should definately pay.

I realise that your moh could have stated that she wanted to leave earlier, but as she was there for you, doing you a favour, and presumably as it was for your wedding you were in control of how long you stayed, paying the fine is your responsibility.

If you want to be difficult, only pay half, but imo, you should pay the lot.

slavetofilofax · 11/09/2011 21:18

Oh, and how many pairs of shoes she buys is irrelevant.

SnapesMistress · 11/09/2011 21:20

Sorry but what is a MOH?

I think it would be reasonable to split it.

GrimmaTheNome · 11/09/2011 21:20

Um. Yes it was her car and she thought it was fine - but she was at this fayre for your benefit. I don't think I'd risk bad feeling with my MoH for £30 - think of it as part of the expense of the wedding.

SnapesMistress · 11/09/2011 21:20

Sorry just worked out it must be Maid of Honour, ignore me. :0

HerHissyness · 11/09/2011 21:21

erm, your wedding? your need to go to a wedding fair? your maid of honour?

You were the whole reason why these people were there in the first place.

She chose to drive, when it could have been a nice walk, she chose to park there, she ignored the 30mins limit.

You should pay half, as a gesture.

It might not be fair, but life often isn't. She's going to this thing for you.

DeepPurple · 11/09/2011 21:21

What's a moh?

DeepPurple · 11/09/2011 21:22

Ah maid of honour

emsyj · 11/09/2011 21:22

Sorry I think YABU and should pay unless you protested about her parking where she did. If I was in the car with someone who was a bit devil-may-care about parking times and rules I would tell them straight, 'if you get a ticket it's your lookout' - but I am very particular about parking and terrified of getting a ticket! I have a permit for a car park near work and rang the council twice to ask specifically which bays I am allowed to park in .

DeepPurple · 11/09/2011 21:22

Split it. I would.

thisisyesterday · 11/09/2011 21:23

hmmmmm

originally i was thiniking yabu

but really SHE chose to park there. you did suggest going elsewhere... and she could have gone and moved the car before the 30 min time was up.

so i would say it's her responsibility

LydiaWickham · 11/09/2011 21:28

It's £30, pay it. The wedding fayre was for your benefit, you should have kept an eye on the time to get you back in time to avoid it.

Remember, this is the woman who's going to be organising your hen do, you do really want to be wearing L plates and a vial covered in condoms in some seedy club with sticky floors?

Pay it. It's that or you need a new MOH.

Harecare · 11/09/2011 21:30

Given the situation I think yabu not to have offered at least half on the spot. She may have then said "no, really it was my fault" and then you would protest and pay half. She may have insisted and paid the lot, but at least you'd both be trying to be kind.
Since you didn't immediately offer it makes me think you're not an especially great friend. You can be a better friend. Pay and apologise.

Sandalwood · 11/09/2011 21:31

That's your parking ticket.

TheSkiingGardener · 11/09/2011 21:31

Split it. You both knew you only had 30 minutes and got it wrong. She is BU to demand you pay it.

lilackaty · 11/09/2011 21:33

I'm not sure - both cars got tickets, yes? So it's actually £60 altogether if you pay both. I think I'd offer to pay half as, as others have said, it could cause bad feeling and it was a wedding fayre for your wedding. Sorry.

Harecare · 11/09/2011 21:33

Don't make a big deal of it, simply reply "ooh sorry, I meant to give you the cash today but didn't have it/forgot. Can you sort it and I'll pay you back when I next see you? Thanks for a great day"

MrsPresley · 11/09/2011 21:34

Well if I was your friend I wouldnt even ask you pay anything towards it.

My car, I decide where to park, my responsibility to get back to the car on time.

I've received a parking ticket in the past when I took my dad to an appointment but the car is my responsibility, my dad didnt make me park where I did!

LRDTheFeministDragon · 11/09/2011 21:35

Why were you late back? Did you tell her she was about to run out of time and should get back, and she argued she didn't want to?

Otherwise I can't see why you wouldn't pay it, really.

Pavlovthecat · 11/09/2011 21:37

split it.

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JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 11/09/2011 21:40

I asked her to park elsewhere incase we were late and got ticketed, I have a ticket on my own car dp was driving, he drove it so he has to pay.

And whoever said I'm not a good friend for giving her £30 isn't really on. Were very close hence why I was so shocked she assumed I could afford to pay it. She knows we have limited funds until october as I've cancelled going out for my birthday and were hardly using our car to save money. by then it would be doubled as a late payment fine! Which we will have to have on our own as we physically don't have the cash until its 'too late'.

If she asks again ill offer £15 but can't hand it over until dp is paid.

(I'd like to add before anyone says why are you getting married if your so skint, its just a bad month, moved house dp had four weeks out of work and starts new one in two weeks, ds needed all new uniform and shoes due to house move we couldn't plan ahead on schools, oh and we had mot and tax to pay)

OP posts:

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 11/09/2011 21:44

We were late back by under 5 mins actually, damn efficient pcso!

No reason for it we left with time to get to car but had to wait ages to cross the road, you know just daft unavoidable delays!

OP posts:

Harecare · 11/09/2011 21:49

Sorry unicorn, but your way of settling it wasn't very friendly in the OP. I'm surprised you didn't talk about it at the time. If you can't afford it, call your friend and talk it out over the phone knowing that really you ought to contribute, but due to your finances it'll be a struggle so you need her to be kind to you and let you off.
You asked: "AIBU to ignore the message and if she asks me face to face refuse to pay it."
The answer to that is definitely YABU. She is your friend. That is not the way to treat a friend even if you can't afford the money. Call her and speak to her.

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