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To give my 18 year old DD 3 months to find a job in her chosen career and if she cant then to apply for anything,

(98 Posts)
ShakeTastic Sat 10-Sep-11 19:12:36

Hello, My DD thinks iabvu but I do not.

She finished school (after 2 years in sixth form) in may, She worked very hard and came away with 3 A levels, 2 A's and a C, the 2 A's were in health and social care specializing in The early years, apparently this means she has a level 3 in childcare,

Since she finished school she has been looking for a job working in a nursery, She has had no luck even though she has applied for many as although she has the qualifications, she has no experience,

It has now came to the point that as I am on a low income myself and get no money for her anymore she has had to claim jobseekers this week, I do not want her on this any longer than nessasary but she had to as we have had to inform the housing of what she is doing as I get housing benefit,

I have told her that she has 3 months to find a job either within a nursery or similar and if she cant then she will have to apply for whatever is available (shop work, call centres etc) she is not happy,

Obviously I want her to be in job that she has trained to be in and wants to be in but the way things are none of us can be choosey and have to take what we can get,

Aibu?

BluddyMoFo Sat 10-Sep-11 19:13:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rubyslippers Sat 10-Sep-11 19:14:31

Can she not get agency work?

Has she been looking on Gumtree etc?

What about her finding work as a nanny?

nailak Sat 10-Sep-11 19:16:27

tell her to volunteer in a childrens centre, nursery, primary school etc for the 3 months, and increase her chances.

hayleysd Sat 10-Sep-11 19:16:39

I would say you are being unreasonable because she is an adult and it's not upto you what job she does, but I can see a bit why you want her to have money coming in but still it's her choice.

cleanteeth Sat 10-Sep-11 19:16:48

She should really start looking for any work now IMO. Once she has a job it will be easier for her to relax and find a job in her choosen career. At least she would be getting paid in the meantime.

FabbyChic Sat 10-Sep-11 19:17:42

Id not let a child of mine with such good A Level results finish education at 18, she should have gone to University to give herself a better start in life.

troisgarcons Sat 10-Sep-11 19:18:14

It is always easier to find a job if you already have one. Any money is better than no money.

lesstalkmoreaction Sat 10-Sep-11 19:18:35

She could also do nannying, work in creche's in children centres, register with a number of agencys for childcare. She may get more work by getting her first aid course done, register with ofsted, get her crb done. She can then always fall back on nanny work if need be. She could volunteer in children centres as well, they would also do a crb for her. It looks willing and would get her a reference and experience.

fourkids Sat 10-Sep-11 19:18:36

she could offer her services as an intern at a nursery/playgroup for three months...then she would also have experience. I should think that she'd find somewhere happy to take qualified, unpaid labour...they might even keep her on if she pleases them.

fourkids Sat 10-Sep-11 19:19:28

oops x post

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hellhasnofury Sat 10-Sep-11 19:22:30

Any job is better than no job but it's not always easy to see that when you're 18.

I don't see how you can force anyone to go to uni Fabbychic, this year it's been very difficult to get in. The conditions on DD's offer changed several times as more and more people applied for the course she was after.

hellhasnofury Sat 10-Sep-11 19:23:45

Could she volunteer at a local school? I know it won't bring in money but it might lead to paid work.

pinkytheshrinky Sat 10-Sep-11 19:24:02

I would be asking her to get any job - or go on to college it is not an option as far as I am concerned to be on benefits whilst she chooses a job she likes. It is much much easier to get a job if you have one. She could also work as an au pair - great experience and a bit of travel?

Talker2010 Sat 10-Sep-11 19:24:40

fabbychic ... what gives you the right to dictate in such a way to an adult?

OP ... not unreasonable at all

ihatecbeebies Sat 10-Sep-11 19:27:37

YABU

FabbyChic Sat 10-Sep-11 19:28:53

Im expressing my opinion on what I would do.

However with regards to the OP I agree that giving her three months is a good idea, however it might be better if she was to get back into college to do some additional qualifications.

ihatecbeebies Sat 10-Sep-11 19:29:21

Talker - Isn't the OP dictating to an adult too by telling her DD to take a job she doesn't want (obviously after the 3 month mark) instead of continuing to search for a job in her chosen field?

ShakeTastic Sat 10-Sep-11 19:31:00

She did not want to go to University, She wants to get out there and start earning,

Since having her first visit to the jobcentre on Tuesday she has now registered with a few agencys,

I want her to be happy whatever she does,

I just need some reasurence that im not being unreasonable by saying that whilst she is living under my roof that she needs to find a job to contribute untill she finds her 'dream Job',

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Sat 10-Sep-11 19:31:13

I would also advise her to do some voluntary work - whilst also applying for jobs

do-it.org.uk is a great website to find voluntary work in your chosen field

ShakeTastic Sat 10-Sep-11 19:44:32

Cheers for all replies

I hope to show DD this as it may give her some ideas that I just cant get her to take in,

I so want her to get into her chosen career but I know it may take a while, she cannot understand this,

When she had her first appointment at the JC, the bloke looked at her qualifications and asked her what she was doing there.

It seems maybe voluntary work would definatly help but she would have to be doing that fo a good while before it counted as experience.

Should she just get any job and do voluntary work as well?

I'm at a loss as to what to say to her really, any help or advice is is appreciated.

breatheslowly Sat 10-Sep-11 19:46:36

YANBU and probably being rather generous to give her 3 months. The longer she spends not working in any way, the worse it will look on her applications. If other jobs are available then there would still be plenty of time in the evenings or around her job for her to make the applications for her "dream job" and as others have said, even volunteering would be better than doing nothing. Also her qualification doesn't sound quite like a level 3 in childcare as I think that most nursery workers get their level 3 while working, so it uses a lot of work place observations and project work (but I am not an expert). Did she do any work experience as part of her course?

MrsGaff Sat 10-Sep-11 19:52:27

How much does she get for jobseekers allowance? I'd take most of it off her as 'keep', just leave her enough for phone credit and bus fares to get to interviews.

There is absolutely no reason why she can't take any job now while she is looking for the dream job!

hellhasnofury Sat 10-Sep-11 19:53:43

She wouldn't necessarily have to volunteer for a long time before she was offered a chance of paid employment. My then 16 year old DD volunteered at a special school, she went in one afternoon a week for a half term when a full time post came up. She was invited to apply and was successful so she completed her AS levels before leaving FE after just one year. She's been in the post for 4 years now and has worked part time for the last year while securing an access course to get her into uni to study to become a teacher. She wants to teach children with asd when she's qualified. It might not be the orthodox route into uni but it's worked well for her.

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