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To speak to school about bullying outside school

(5 Posts)
elphabadefiesgravity Fri 09-Sep-11 22:12:57

Yesterday after school I took dd and ds to the playground across the road. A couple of other children from school were there one was a boy in his year and the other an older boy in dd's class. Ds began to get upset as the other two started to call him names and regrettable dd got swept up in it and started to join in.

I was very cross with dd and took them away and didn't give dd her treat/laid the down about name calling and sticking up for her brother.

Tonight there were lots of other children in the playground. I was stood at one end actually chatting to the mum of the two boys and mentioned in passing about the name calling and the fact ds was upset and dd had been chastised.

Dd then ran up saying that they were calling names again. I told her to tell ds to ignore it. She came back and said one of the two boys had taken his school bag and wouldn;t give it back. I told her to tell them they had better give it back. She then came up again and said that ds was crying becasue somone had pulled his hair. I stormed over to the roundabout ds was on it sobbing and about 12 other children were on it (quite a crush) ds's bag was in the middle of the roundabout where the older boy was. All the otehr childern except one were from school but I didn't know most of them as they were older than ds.

I was fuming, I forcibly stopped the roundabout and told them to stop it now they had better start playing nicely and being kind to each other. I lifted ds off the roundabout and went to sit nearby. Then the younger boy fromthe day before picked up ds's bag and made as though to throw it across the playground. I yelled you'd better not throw that (despite having no idea what I would actually be able to do if he did) and I took the bag off him. I calmed ds down and sent him off to play elsewhwre. Later one of the other older boys came to me to ask if ds was allowed to go on the roundabout as they wanted to push it really fast. I said of course he could it was the being unkind I didn't want.

I am now concerned about ds is going to be treated in school if they could behace like this right under my eyes. The younger boy was in ds's class last year but not this year and they were friends. The older boy was involved in a serious but non physical incident last year too.

Dh and mil think I should go into school and speak to the teacher about it. AIBU to do that? Ds had a difficult year at school last year and did very little work but this week in his new class has been a different child he has worked hard, loves his teacher and classmates and has come home bright and talkative. His behavious has improved immensly. He has always been a very popular child at school especially with the older children although several of those have left now to go to high school.

marriedinwhite Fri 09-Sep-11 22:22:48

If he's having a difficult time at school with these boys, can't you go to a different park outside school so that he doesn't get a double whammy.

I would be minded to arrange to have a word with the class teacher and say something like "ds has seemed really happy this year but at the park you saw, x, y and z and were a bit worried about how ds was being treated. Could you teacher reassure you this isn't happening at school and give you some tips to help you help ds to deal with similar situations". I would then monitor it carefully and keep in touch with the teacher.

madamarcati Fri 09-Sep-11 22:40:39

I don't want to sound mean, but how could you let this happen ?After the first incident I would be right there next to the roundabout or whatever, making sure there was nothing going on.
As your DS is so happ at school I am guessing this doesn't go on there because the other kids know they can't get away with it!!
Seriously you have got to traet children like children and let them know who's boss!!

elphabadefiesgravity Fri 09-Sep-11 22:42:35

The park is directly opposite the schol gates. We drive home and going there has always been a treat to let off steam before the half hour drive home, there are always loads of kids from school there in nice weather and sometimes we go there to kill time before his swimming lesson or whilst dd is which takes place at the high school virtually next door an hour after school finishes so going to a different one wouldn't really be an option.

elphabadefiesgravity Fri 09-Sep-11 22:45:17

The first day I sort of just put down to childish behaviour. I also didn;t want to increase the problem (he was being called a baby so I didn't want to make him seem more of a mummy's boy if you see what I mean)

As soon as I realised it wass carrying on I was there, I had to really control myself as I work with children and have to be careful I had visions of irate parents having a go because I was having a go at their children.

But yes, with hidsight I should perhaps have intervened earlier.

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