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It's Friday right? AIBU to say no till he reciprocates

(49 Posts)
StrandedBear Fri 09-Sep-11 15:14:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellavita Fri 09-Sep-11 15:17:22

Too right!

mollschambers Fri 09-Sep-11 15:19:05

YABU. But I don't think I'd enjoy it if I knew he was a bit grossed out tbh.

mollschambers Fri 09-Sep-11 15:19:29

Oops. Obviously I meant yaNbu blush

dirtydishesmakemesad Fri 09-Sep-11 15:20:15

yanbu but agree with molls if dh acted so disgusted i think i would be cringing if he forced himself - i wouldnt do anythign of that sort for him though so not sure how this would ever end!

fanjobanjowanjo Fri 09-Sep-11 15:20:18

YADNBU. I don't care if you all call me a man basher but soo many men are selfish in bed and don't even think of you just want to shove it in and pummel your boobs.

<thinks wistfully of the one fella who loved to please>

Elderberries Fri 09-Sep-11 15:20:57

Yes it should be reciprocated if that is what you want. Why should he get it his way. Very unfair.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 09-Sep-11 15:21:17

Well.....dh loves giving me oral sex and I hate blow jobs (and he's not bothered about bj's and would rather have sex).

is there a compromise? or do you actually like giving blow jobs?

If you don't like it then stop - if you do like it, continue and get him to do other stuff to you that he enjoys.

aldiwhore Fri 09-Sep-11 15:22:17

Do you enjoy giving blow jobs? If so YABU.

Do you hate giving blow jobs but do it anyway? If so YANBU.

Elderberries Fri 09-Sep-11 15:22:30

Not all men are selfish in bed. I've generally had good experiences...but you do have to voice what you want. Not mind readers are they.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 09-Sep-11 15:23:54

Actually, it's really simple. No one should do anything they don't like in bed if they don't want to.

mollschambers Fri 09-Sep-11 15:25:31

Agree 100% Laurie.

fanjobanjowanjo Fri 09-Sep-11 15:25:49

Elder never said they all were. In my experience a lot of them are, even when you ask them!

Elderberries Fri 09-Sep-11 15:27:24

No you didn't fanjo...apologies.

Elderberries Fri 09-Sep-11 15:28:36

I find geeky intellectuals not bad in the bed department.

Overconfident men can be the worst.

spookshowangellovesit Fri 09-Sep-11 15:38:27

i would have a problem with a guy that didnt want to do it and the expect me to give him oral. its a bit one sided.

fanjobanjowanjo Fri 09-Sep-11 15:40:47

<needs to find geeky intellectual>

nickelbabe Fri 09-Sep-11 15:41:44

if he doesn't like doing it to you, why on earth does he think you'll enjoy doing it to him??

it's like people who eat something nasty, then make everyone else taste it!

fanjobanjowanjo Fri 09-Sep-11 15:44:13

Just a thought...if he's NEVER done it to you, how does he know you taste gross and leave hair everywhere? Could he not give it a go, and see if it doesn't blow (snigger) his bad experience out of the water?

Perhaps after a shower? <lights candles and prepares mood music>

nickelbabe Fri 09-Sep-11 16:07:41

good point well made fanjo

G1nger Fri 09-Sep-11 16:08:57

He'd get nothing from me, the selfish bugger.

diddl Fri 09-Sep-11 16:13:36

"he doesn't like the way it tastes/gets hair in his mouth "

And women don´t ever think that about BJ, do they?

steamedtreaclesponge Fri 09-Sep-11 16:19:22

I'm with Laurie on this one - no-one should feel forced to do things in bed they don't like. With the disclaimer that if he's actually never even tried going down on you, he should give it a bash (not literally - ouch).

If you really hated giving blow jobs, you wouldn't want him forcing you into it. Is there something else that he could do for you instead?

saintmerryweather Fri 09-Sep-11 16:25:42

YANBU. It took me a while to see my ex was being incredibly selfish when he refused to go down on me. Well he didn't refuse, he'd go down there for anywhere between 10 and 30 seconds then come back up saying he didn't like it. Then he said to me I had to expect that he would get annoyed if I started him off then didn't finish, then was surprised when I was pissed off. He didn't make ANY effort in the bedroom with me, I didn't come once in the year we were together and I let it carry on so it was my own fault really. I broke up with him over it in the end. I withdrew handjobs (I hated giving him BJ) but he never seemed to get the hint that he had to make an effort to get what he wanted! You can buy different flavour lubes, and you already shave so thats not a real excuse I just think he's lazy.

ChasingSquirrels Fri 09-Sep-11 16:31:39

Mine doesn't go down on me - says has never done and does say he will try but obviously isn't keen. I would enjoy it if he wanted to, but I enjoy the rest of our sex life so I'm not at all bothered, and I definitely do not want him to do something he isn't comfortable doing.

I give him blow jobs, when I want to - because I enjoy giving him pleasure in that way. He has never asked for one, and in the beginning before I had done so he said he didn't really enjoy them (he doesn't refuse now though smile).

If you don't want to give him blow jobs then don't, but also don't try and force him to do something he doesn't want.

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