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All I want is a little sleep...

(13 Posts)
HumptyDumpty1 Fri 09-Sep-11 09:37:56

AIBU... DD is now 6 months old nearly and for pretty much the whole way through I have bf every 2 hours, 24/7, with the exception of a handful of longer stretches, which I have been completely happy to do - I chose to bf and dp could not help with this. She is now taking a bottle however and so dp can help out with night feeds (even though I'm wide awake anyway).

DP works late nights sometimes( we're students so it's only part time) and sometimes doesn't get in till 3 or 4am, when he works this I never wake him up through the night (he doesn't wake up when DD cries) and let him sleep in as long as he wants/needs and always uninterrupted.

I have more exams in 2 weeks (postponed them all as had DD and missed half the year of uni), the last 2 I did with still getting up every 2 hours and it killed me, they were appalling, and I start back full time at uni in 3 weeks.

This morning, 7am I asked dp to get up with DD so I could sleep a little longer so I wouldn't feel tired for revision today, he agreed so I explained exactly what to do for dd's breakfast and I would just sleep until I woke up maybe 3 or 4 hours. So after this, he wakes me up 2 more times to ask me how to do dd's breakfast as he wasn't listening and is too lazy to read the instructions (which are right next to it) for the steriliser. He then, after 45mins sleep brings a twisty DD into bed because she is tired even though she naps in her pram and we rock her in that in the living room. She didn't go to sleep and infact wasn't tired. He got into bed and settled down to go to sleep.

Big argument

I get up with DD and play with her, give her another bottle as dp hadn't checked how much she had had from a cup (only 2oz when she normally has 4-5) and rock her to sleep. This is all while he sleeps.

He was not working last night, he has not worked a late for a while, he has had many many nights of uninterrupted sleep, he has no exams. He is asleep now.

AIBU in just wanting a small stretch of uninterrupted sleep so I can concentrate on my exams?!?

Sorry for the essay needed to rant!

StrandedBear Fri 09-Sep-11 09:41:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HumptyDumpty1 Fri 09-Sep-11 09:51:38

I don't think I'd get a whole nights sleep tbh.. I'd be worrying whether or not he had woken up when she cried sad

northerngirl41 Fri 09-Sep-11 10:05:08

You need to lock the bedroom door!!! Seriously - what is he, five? Does he not realise that you didn't get surrepticiously given a manual of "How to look after a baby" in the hospital, so that mothers can be superior and that basically it's trial and error?

The fact he doesn't know what to do just proves that he's not pulling his weight. Get a lock on the bedroom door, put the radio on to drown out any other noises and send him out to look after his daughter.

And if you're worried he "isn't doing it right" or leaving her to cry - so what? He is her father as much as you are her mother - he gets an equal say in how she's brought up, you need to butt out when he's looking after her.

HumptyDumpty1 Fri 09-Sep-11 10:13:03

"you need to butt out when he's looking after her"

I don't butt in when he looks after her. He asks me. The fact that he is a very heavy sleeper would worry me if I slept away.

I didn't say once that I have more of a say being her mother, i am not thick.

But thanks for that response...really helpful.

auntmargaret Fri 09-Sep-11 10:17:52

I so sympathise, I have exactly the same problem with my DP, I honestly didn`t know men like this still existed. DD2 is 6MO, very poor sleeper, I bf her an average of 3/4 times a night, he never wakens, or pretends not to. He is "exhausted" all the time so comes home from work and refuses to do anything with DD2 cos he needs to "rest". I do all sterilising, washing bottles,bowls,spoons as well as all the other cooking etc. He complains constantly that house is a mess. I try to talk to him, but feel like I`m nagging and nothing changes. Am so angry at him most of time, I could punch him. God knows what will happen when I go back to work. Hope you get some sleep.

HumptyDumpty1 Fri 09-Sep-11 10:21:31

Poor u auntmargret

Luckily my dp does the majority of tidying/cleaning

Stop washing his clothes or cooking - he'll soon learn grin

auntmargaret Fri 09-Sep-11 10:39:36

I don`t wash his clothes or do his ironing. I do try to keep house tidy-ish, and cook cos am feeding DD1 anyway. I think I`m just really disappointed, I was SP with DD1 and really looked forward to sharing it this time around. I know BF makes it difficult for him to help, but he just seems to have taken it as his cue to do nothing. Except play with her. But nothing constructive. He also asks questions all the time like your DP-ffs! Can`t he read the instructions on a packet of baby porridge? So frustrating. I think other poster was right, you need to go to relative`s house and get some studying done. He will be fine, he probably only asks for reassurance. Still annoying though

HumptyDumpty1 Fri 09-Sep-11 10:49:01

It is annoying angry

After MUCH persuading he's finally agreed for us to move DD into her own room and he is going to sleep on the air bed next to her cot so he wakes up, and I will have the bed and our room.

Thank god!

auntmargaret Fri 09-Sep-11 10:51:05

Good result, well done you smile Now, get studying!

iskra Fri 09-Sep-11 11:00:41

YANBU. He needs to pull his finger out. Glad that you've agreed a room swap for now.

We eventually did controlled crying when DD was 15 months & I had studying to do - there is a limit to how much brain work you can do when bfing every two hours throughout the night! (for me at least)

NodsSmilesandBacksAway Fri 09-Sep-11 11:03:50

After MUCH persuading he's finally agreed for us to move DD into her own room and he is going to sleep on the air bed next to her cot so he wakes up, and I will have the bed and our room.

why? why not just put her in her own room and he goes to her if she wakes.

HumptyDumpty1 Fri 09-Sep-11 11:05:51

Because when she wakes I wake and I have to wake him then he feeds her and changes if she needs it in the room and I can't get back to sleep until it's finished. This way he can deal with her and I can get back to sleep.

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