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AIBU to feel disgusted and very sad about this being said to/in front of children?

(86 Posts)
PotterWatch Thu 08-Sep-11 19:56:30

Why is it that bad language seems to be no bad things to many parents? I am getting increasingly fed up of people swearing at their children, within earshot of mine. I don't use that language around them, and I don't want them picking it up whilst they are so young. Unfortunately I know they will through school eventually.

Was in town with DH last week. Walking past a mother who was moaning at her DD about not wearing socks and now her shoes were rubbing, as we walked past, she said "put your fucking socks on". At first I thought I was hearing things but DH did confirm it.

Outside nursery on Monday, first day back. Within 30 seconds of being stood there, mother calls her DD a "little fucker" (actually speaking to her) and said fuck in the same sentence. Had this problem last term when a mum called her DS a "little shit" and her friend laughed and said "yeah punch him in the face" hmm

I have complained to the nursery and I will every time I hear it. No wonder I heard a parent warning the nursery workers a little while ago that her DD was saying the F word and admitted she got it from home.

This is just the people I don't know. Then some of my friends use some swear words in front of their children then say "ooopps DS/DD said shit the other day" or something along those lines. Yes of course they do if you bloody say it!!

I HATE swearing in front of children. There is no need for it. I used to be terrible but I can actually control what comes out of my mouth, it isn't that bloody difficult (like some of my friends seem to think).

StrandedBear Thu 08-Sep-11 19:58:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bushymcbush Thu 08-Sep-11 20:00:46

I know someone who calls his sons 'knobber' and 'twat'. He is an educated professional - a teacher, in fact. His sons are 5 and 3. Makes my blood boil.

MsScarlettInTheLibrary Thu 08-Sep-11 20:01:04

I try not to but yes sometimes I slip up - never at DC though and as yet I've never heard DD say a 'swear' word. YANBU, though. I'm afraid I'm always the one glaring at people on buses and in the street asking them to mind their language around my child. There doesn't seem to be much courtesy around and some peoples' sentences hae a swear word every other word, it seems.

southeastastra Thu 08-Sep-11 20:01:48

i agree it's more rife, i'm not sure what you can do other register your disapproval at them with a stern face. maynbe ask nursery staff to get the headteacher to word something in the newsletter

Marne Thu 08-Sep-11 20:04:07

I agree, i hate it sad, theres no need for it, i can manage to tell mt kids of without swearing and still get my point across grin.

shakey1500 Thu 08-Sep-11 20:04:59

YANBU, even today walking home from school we were just ahead of two women with their primary school children and overheard the (not so quiet) delightful story of how she was "going to kick her fucking head in when I get hold of her, fucking bitch". Referring to a third party and not the child thank goodness. Jeremy Kyle fodder if ever there was sad

dirtydishesmakemesad Thu 08-Sep-11 20:05:25

yanbu I very rarely swear and I hate it when people swear at children, it just sounds so aggressive. A few years ago one of my friends called her daughter a "fucking cow" to her face - she was 5. I did ask her not to swear in my house but she didnt seem to think it was a big deal at all. I dont see her now so no ideaif she still does this but i assume so.

Bunbaker Thu 08-Sep-11 20:06:17

"can you honestly say one has never slipped out?"

Yes. It isn't the type of language I use anyway. I might say bugger or shit when driving, but nothing stronger, and neither does OH. None of my friends use this kind of language in front of, to or at their children either.

DD (11) has heard these words of course but she recognises that this kind of language is inappropriate and unacceptable.

PotterWatch Thu 08-Sep-11 20:08:08

shock at knobber and twat, that is truely awful. sad

I can honestly say I have never slipped up, I am actually amazed at my self control, it is far better than I ever thought it would be. smile

HeifferunderConstruction Thu 08-Sep-11 20:11:33

Amen OP!!!!!

I'm a young parent and I HATE HATE HATE swearing infront/at children

and of course there the ones who always feign surprise
'ooh where did you get that from??'

They got it from YOU! you foul mouthed cretin.

Vallhala Thu 08-Sep-11 20:11:35

Words. That's all they are. So are "orange" and "woolly". Taking a realistic, calm look I can't see why wank is rude but masturbate is not. Or why no-one covers their child's ears when woolly, lily of the valley or dishwasher are mentioned.

Cunt or vulva, what the heck, they mean the same thing. What's appalling now was either once in common use or one day will be. Language evolves, so they tell me when I complain about the use of teen-speak. smile wink

That doesn't mean that I'm advocating that "cunt" should be taught in primary school, just that the world won't crash around your childrens' ears just because they hear a few words.

I'm not sure that you can do much either. Sure, you can ask nursery to remind parents to tone it down but whilst swearing is not illegal in itself you cannot dictate to grown adults how they should speak. Or teenagers, come to that.


Hatesponge Thu 08-Sep-11 20:12:25

My parents used to swear a lot, my dad in 3 languages at times. But it was v rare of them to swear at me. And I never said one swear word til I was well into my late teens.

I do swear in front of my DC, probably more so now than when they were very young and I made more of a deliberate effort not to (they are now 10 and 13). I have had very little trouble with them swearing up to now, although DS1 is a stroppy teenager and starting to push his luck. Of their friends, I have always found that the children who had the foulest mouths tended to be the ones whose parents made a big fuss of not swearing/their children being exposed to swear words...

StrandedBear Thu 08-Sep-11 20:15:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crosshair Thu 08-Sep-11 20:15:52

yanbu I find it rather horrible to hear.

Heard a acquaintance of dp's once telling his 2 year oldish dd to ''fuck off'' and ''leave that the fuck alone''. I was shock

Ormirian Thu 08-Sep-11 20:16:40

I never swear at my DC. As they get older I have been known to swear in their hearing. But it's OK because they are much better at it than me grin

bakeyouhappy Thu 08-Sep-11 20:16:58

Kids are smart. They know if you have to swear at them to make your point, then you have lost it. You are no longer in control, they are.

RitaMorgan Thu 08-Sep-11 20:17:56

I hate parents swearing at their children, shouting, calling them names.

Can't get too worked up about swearing around children though. It doesn't bother me personally.

Imustbenuts Thu 08-Sep-11 20:19:36

I told my son's father not to swear in front of him when he was 16 months old and he said it didn't matter because he didn't understand.
"What makes you think that if you can ask him to go somewhere, get something and put it somewhere, for example, that he wouldn't register what you are saying?..."

When I worked as a TA with year three children, the teacher took a parent aside at home time and said quietly "I'm sorry to have to tell you that we caught R__ swearing today"
Answer: "Oh f.... me, don't everyone?" !

I despair!

HeifferunderConstruction Thu 08-Sep-11 20:20:22

Often children who are SWORN AT end up worse than children who hear the occasional word IYSWIM.

I remeber hearing my rents' swear when the broken something its funny how it never occured to me to swear myself.

MadamDeathstare Thu 08-Sep-11 20:21:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Imustbenuts Thu 08-Sep-11 20:23:41

And yes, it does slip out sometimes.
I was trying to park the car and the wheel kept going into a pothole (actually I am very good at parking!!!) and after numerous attempts I went "Oh f...... hell!" - quietly to myself, I thought, then a little voice from behind me went "You not 'posed to say dat Mummy"!

Rollergirl1 Thu 08-Sep-11 20:28:17

I have very occassionaly sworn in the vicinity of DC's when I can't help myself (usually the F word and usually if I have hurt myself) but I think they hear it so randomly that it wouldn't even occur to them that it was a bad word.

DD understands the concept of swear words. She told me the other day that she knows a swear word and she was scared to tell me as it was "naughty to say". When I pressed her on what the word was she told me it was "hell". I was quite relieved!

JambalayaCodfishPie Thu 08-Sep-11 20:28:30

At my daughters first primary school (I moved her, VERY quickly), the language from the parents around the pick-up used to disgust me.

During her final days there, I overheard one reception child calling another child a cunt , and their parents laughed?!?! angry

Its vile.

southeastastra Thu 08-Sep-11 20:31:55

half the threads even on here use swear words as part of everyday language, so it's not surprising children get to hear them alot more in everyday usage

people just don't seem to think or care much

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