Advanced search

aibu - other people feeding my child

(257 Posts)
glub Thu 08-Sep-11 18:28:00

so my daughter's started nursery this term. this nursery feeds them a 'snack' at half ten in the morning. since when does a snack consist of a slice of toast, buttered presumably, three quarters of an apple, half a banana and a cup of milk? that's practically a meal ffs! and only a couple of hours after i feed her a good breakfast of porridge and fruit with a cup of milk. why why why?! and then i'm supposed to still feed her lunch at midday when her brother and i eat? she says herself that nursery feed her lunch it's weird why do they insist on feeding them? my daughter's perfectly healthy as is she does not need an extra meal forced upon her! she does not do more exercise at nursery than at home as is their excuse. and i know they encourage her to eat as they were a bit worried that she was not a good eater when she only was hungry enough for a few grapes on the first day. she's a perfectly good eater. not a skinny delicate child. and then she walks out of nursery with a chocolate bar in her hand! it was someone's birthday apparently. and then she cries as i tell her it's for after lunch not before even though all the other kids are stuffing their faces... sad
and then later she goes to dance class... they give them a single sweet at the end of the class. only once a week, they've just done 45 mins of dancing... it's not the end of the world right? but still not happy about it - who are they to introduce this crap to my kid!? but am allowing it. don't want her to be left out.
but then on top of that she says they had cake there as it was someone's birthday! why do they not inform the parents about this?

so now she's barely eaten any dinner. argh!

banana87 Thu 08-Sep-11 18:32:02

But its not just about YOUR DD. It's about all the children. Snack time is part of the nursery routine and from the sounds of it, they are giving a very healthy and well balanced snack so I do not know why you are complaining. If she isn't hungry for lunch at 12, give it to her at 1 or 1:30. Being flexible with times isn't going to kill you.

Regarding birthday treats, I'm afraid it's all part and parcel. It is not going to happen every single day, so I would just accept that today was a bit of a junk day and tomorrow will be back to normal <shrugs>.

Rowena8482 Thu 08-Sep-11 18:33:04

Maybe some kids are dropped off not having had anything to eat that day? They can hardly "judge" who has had proper breakfast and who hasn't and only feed the ones who haven't so they just feed them all.
I must admit the birthday cake/sweets thing pisses me off too, mainly because it's a "Healthy Eating School" and then they stuff them with crap at least once a week someone ALWAYS seems to be having a birthday and then I am expected to supply crap store bought cake and/or sweets on my DCs birthdays for the whole class hmm

Newbabynewmum Thu 08-Sep-11 18:33:51

Give her less breakfast? My nursery is just the same & when my DD starts next week she'll have only a yoghurt at home because I know they do the snacks.


Kayano Thu 08-Sep-11 18:33:56



Yabu if you allow it and then moan about it to us! Moan about it to them!
Better yet, chill out

banana87 Thu 08-Sep-11 18:34:08

YABU by the way.

KAZAMM Thu 08-Sep-11 18:34:10

can't you say to nursery that you don't want her to have the snack? If you don't want her feeling left out then suggest they give only half the amount to your DD.

As for birthdays I'm guessing they don't happen that often. It wouldn't be a big deal to me but we don't have set mealtimes.

reelingintheyears Thu 08-Sep-11 18:34:42

Oh God...another thread to hide.

Get over it.

TheGhostNotMe Thu 08-Sep-11 18:35:43


Lighten up a bit. Its good for her to eat socially with other kids her age, and apple/banana/toast and milk is a fab snack.

You seem to have a real issue with fats (butter) and sugar (1 sweet?!)

If its that much of an issue, dont give her lunch at 12. Make her a snack instead.

SauvignonBlanche Thu 08-Sep-11 18:36:14

It's not for your DD

squeakytoy Thu 08-Sep-11 18:37:21

YABU, and sound like you have issues with food that you need to address.

reelingintheyears Thu 08-Sep-11 18:37:22

Are you Gwyneth Paltrow?

A single sweet after 45 mins dancing.?

I'd want KFC.

mumnotmachine Thu 08-Sep-11 18:37:41

Give her less breakfast and less at lunchtime, more snacky stuff, its better for them to eat little and often!!

Can you give her her main meal in the evening then?

aldiwhore Thu 08-Sep-11 18:38:51

Less breakfast, later lunch, all is well.

itisnearlysummer Thu 08-Sep-11 18:39:06

Tbh, it's not going to hurt if she doesn't eat much tea because she's had a bit of birthday cake, especially if she eats healthily the rest of the time.

Agree, you might need to be a bit more flexible around meal times. Why can't she eat lunch a little later? Besides there's nothing wrong with milk, toast, apples or bananas either. Or am I missing something?

They have a mid morning snack because it's advisable to give children a mid morning snack to keep their energy levels up and because children have small stomachs so need to eat little and often.

I'd be surprised if any of the children eat all of that snack anyway, the children will just pick at what they fancy but at least they have a choice.

Send home made cake in for birthdays, or not at all. It's not a requirement - we never did it.

DoingMyVeryBest Thu 08-Sep-11 18:39:16

I can see your frustration, but you might be being a little unreasonable. A midmorning snack is good for keeping blood sugars at a regular level, so no pre-lunch energy slumps etc. That is an enormous (though quite healthy) snack though. Could you ask them to only give her a bit of fruit maybe, rather than the whole lot? Or even give her a smaller lunch on nursery days instead?

The sweetie thing after dance is nice for the little ones, it's not too much, just a little treat IMO. Chocies from nursery should always come home unopened so you have the option, and if you want her to save it till after lunch, then I'm afraid you'll have to put up with the tears till she's old enough to understand why. If you're consistant though, it shouldn't take too long.

If my DC had allergies or something and had been given cake to eat at dance class though, I'd be cross, otherwise I'm afraid it's the way of the world these days - treats everywhere.

Only thing you can do is moderate it at home. Or complain. But which will really be worse for your DD?

Flisspaps Thu 08-Sep-11 18:39:44

Children are better at eating smaller meals, more often than adults do, ideally every two-three hours or so.

Rather than three main meals and two small snacks, try to see it as five evenly-sized meals throughout the day, which is perfectly fine for a nursery age child.

gardenpixies32 Thu 08-Sep-11 18:39:50


Snack time is a social time where they can sit together and learn how to use utensils and general table manners. If your DD is not hungry she will only eat what she wants. I dont see the big deal.

Hulababy Thu 08-Sep-11 18:40:43

I don't think ONE slice of toast and some milk, with a bit of fruit is that bad for a mid morning snack.

If you are concerned though why don't you drop the fruot from her breakfast, so she just goes to nursery having had porridge.

The nursery need to provide for all the children. Some children may have been there longer than your DD, or have not been sent having had a good breakfast. In my DD's case she might not have eaten that much at home as even when little she found it hard to eat very much first thing in a morning, so a mid morning snack was better for her.

As for one sweet after dancing - well, it is one little sweet, once a week. Is it really anything to fret over? If you don't like it however, tell them not to give her one.

Cake on a birthday - meh! Your DD is clearly able to tell you herself she has had some therefore not sure why dancing need to. You know she's had some cake, adjust any further sweet food for the rest of the day accordingly.

Coming out of nursery with a birthday treat from another child - you decide when she eats it. Doesn't matter what others say. Work on this with her and explain and there is no reason for her crying about it. I often had DD wait to eat cake/chocolate after nursery or school when little, didn't cause us any problems. DD got used to it soon enough.

BikeRunSki Thu 08-Sep-11 18:40:47

It's to make sure that the all the children are well fed, regardless of their home life, without singling anyone out. Give her less breakfast or a later lunch and chill with the food issues.

Flisspaps Thu 08-Sep-11 18:41:37

Oh, and butter (pure fat) is arguably better than some crappy additive packed low-fat spread.

Ormirian Thu 08-Sep-11 18:42:41

I wish someone would feed my children sad It's expensive, time-consuming and it NEVER END!! <wail>

I think you need to speak to the nursery if it's a real problem. Or accept that other people appreciate the meals their children are given and live with it.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich Thu 08-Sep-11 18:42:52

There's nothing wrong with them offering a healthy snack like toast and fruit- surely she'll only eat it if she's hungry? As for birthday treats etc, it doesn't bother me as it's not every day and usually only small.

<Slopes off guiltily after allowing DD to scoff a piece of birthday cake on the way home from preschool this morning>

JodieHarsh Thu 08-Sep-11 18:43:00

Dear Lord.

Carry on like this and you & your daughter risk being in one of those awful competitive dieting set-ups by the time she's a teen hmm

i think you need to sort out your food ishoos

mummymccar Thu 08-Sep-11 18:43:10

YABU. For some children this snack is their biggest meal of the day.

This isn't something your nursery have adopted themselves, it is a national nutritional requirement in all schools and nurseries for children of this age.
If you don't want your daughter to eat it tell the nursery this but you can't expect every child to be fortunate enough to be fed as regularly as yours.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now