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Because I didn't have a go at this woman?

(212 Posts)
BupcakesandCunting Thu 08-Sep-11 14:36:58

On the bus just with my 4 year old. He likes to sit on those "high-up" seats behind the driver's cabin because he can see out of the window properly. The bus was pretty much empty so he sat himself in one of these two seats and I sat in the first "normal" seat after his seat.

About four stops later, two women get on the bus. One is about sixty-five, the other looks slightly younger. The elder of the two sat on the other high up seat next to my son, then her friend said to him "Can I ask you to move onto another seat please?" He looked a bit startled but got up and moved... then promptly burst out crying (probably tired as first week at school!) He didn't know why the woman had made him move from his seat and it really upset him. I thought she might have acknowledged me since she made my son move from his seat for some reason that I can't work out (these seats aren't disabled seats or designated for other passengers and since the bus was empty, the two women could have still sat together, just on another pair of seats)

My boy cried all the way home, the lady sat behind me made eye contact with me and told me that I shouldn't have let her dictate to my son about seating. blush DS has been asking why I let the lady be rude to him and why she was allowed to take his seat. I would use the paying child versus non-paying child argument but she had a bus pass, or the infirm and elderly argument (needing seat closer to door) but she was very able-bodied (had rambling clothes on and a huge rucksack)

Should I have stuck up for my son and let him stay sat there? He's really cross about it! He's not a brat btw, I would just imagine being sat staring out of a window minding your own then told to leave your seat is a bit weird when you're four!

hobnobsaremyfave Thu 08-Sep-11 14:38:35

oh ffs...............
<can't be bothered>

BeerTricksPotter Thu 08-Sep-11 14:40:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorrisZapp Thu 08-Sep-11 14:41:15

There's a labyrinthine etiquette list regarding old ladies and buses. You'll never understand it so don't even try. They are right, you are wrong, but when you're older yourself you get to be on the winning side.

A mature lady on the bus complained loudly about me sitting in the disabled priority seat on the bus (to everybody else, not directly to me) when there was nobody else needing or wanting it.

You just smile and get on with it I think.

BupcakesandCunting Thu 08-Sep-11 14:41:59

Don't just come on a thread and say "oh ffs can't be bothered" hobnob. Either you can be bothered or you can't. If you really can't, don't post.

hobnobsaremyfave Thu 08-Sep-11 14:43:07

<really can't be bothered now>

BupcakesandCunting Thu 08-Sep-11 14:44:35

Bye, then. smile

ShatnersBassoon Thu 08-Sep-11 14:44:37

She didn't mean to make your son cry, she just wanted to sit by her friend and didn't think the boy would mind shifting somewhere else.

Do you really think she deserved a bollocking for politely asking a child to shift for her?

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 08-Sep-11 14:45:35

Well ignoring the weirdness from hobnobs.

I think that ideally you should have asked her why your son needed to move and explained why he liked sitting there.

It wasn't a priority seat so she was rude but then a lot of people are extremely rude to children. How many times my ds has held doors open for adults who've walked through and not said thank you . . .

Yummygummybear Thu 08-Sep-11 14:46:11

I don't think it would be worth arguing about to be honest.

I'm not sure why your DS thinks the lady was rude though when she asked him to move & said please.
I would just tell DS that we are polite to people older than us and so it was lovely of him to give up his seat for her.

hobnobsaremyfave Thu 08-Sep-11 14:46:17

<wonders who died ankd let bupcakes decide what can and can't be posted hmm>

libelulle Thu 08-Sep-11 14:46:19

personally yes, I'd have stuck up for him I think. The women were bloody rude. I don't think kids have any more rights than anyone else, and if there were no other seats it would have been a different issue obviously. But neither should kids put up with being treated like rubbish by adults just because they happen to be small. It's like when you see adults push past children in shop queues. Not on imo, and I'd feel quite justified in telling them so.

BupcakesandCunting Thu 08-Sep-11 14:46:53

No, I don't think she deserved a bollocking. That's why I didn't give her one. Just the woman behind telling me that I should and my kid asking why I let him be pushed around made me think maybe I should have said something...

I spend a lot of time telling DS not to let people push him around so feel like a bit of a divvy, that's all.

messymammy Thu 08-Sep-11 14:47:07

I'm in the "old lady is right camp" every time. They have worked hard, are old and possibly cranky and might have a disability you don't know about. My mum with arthritis finds it easier to sit on a high seat or stool as she doesn't have to work so hard to get back up.
Also I don't think the lady was rude to your son, and I don't know why he cried about for so long... Tbh, would be better if you explained that you give up your seat for the elderly than getting miffed about a silly incident.

BupcakesandCunting Thu 08-Sep-11 14:48:08

"It wasn't a priority seat so she was rude but then a lot of people are extremely rude to children. How many times my ds has held doors open for adults who've walked through and not said thank you . . ."

I think that's it. I don't think she'd have asked another adult to move. Kids just seem fair game to some people for bossing about.

ShatnersBassoon Thu 08-Sep-11 14:48:23

She didn't push anyone around! She just asked your son, fairly politely, to do her a favour.

BeerTricksPotter Thu 08-Sep-11 14:48:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoingMyVeryBest Thu 08-Sep-11 14:48:48

I completely understand how he's feeling and also why you did what you did - who would ever have expected to find yourself in that position?

I would explain to DS that she was a bit rude to ask him to move but he weas very polite to do it. And if it happens again you won't let him be pushed out unless there's a good reason (disabillity etc).

I don't think you can really do much else, can you?

bemybebe Thu 08-Sep-11 14:48:57

I wish I had problems like you Bupcakes, I really do.

ruletheworld Thu 08-Sep-11 14:49:22

Did she need the extra space for her enormous rucksack maybe? She should have been polite and told him why she needed the seat

BeerTricksPotter Thu 08-Sep-11 14:50:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BupcakesandCunting Thu 08-Sep-11 14:50:44

Well, I think she did push him around. You can say "please" and still be arsey. Her friend plonked herself down in the seat next to DS, she wanted the other one.

Theala Thu 08-Sep-11 14:50:50

"Can I ask you to move onto another seat please?"

That's not rude. hmm

libelulle Thu 08-Sep-11 14:51:29

hobnobs you can post what you like, of course. I think mn would be so much more interesting if everyone who read a post and thought 'meh' then replied with 'I can't be bothered to reply to this'.

BupcakesandCunting Thu 08-Sep-11 14:51:53

"I wish I had problems like you Bupcakes, I really do."

Oh I do apologise. Are we only allowed to post about life-threatening, earth-shattering problems these days?

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