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to want another baby...

(15 Posts)
fairimum Thu 08-Sep-11 13:57:59

We lost a little girl at 26 weeks due to severe rapid onset pre-eclampsia - was horrific. Fell pregnant 6 weeks later with DD, very stressful pregnancy (due to previous loss), seen weekly at the hospital, scans every 2 weeks, BP crept up from 20ish weeks but was controlled by meds, was admitted for 2 weeks before she was then born due to high heart rate (both mine and hers) and pre-eclampsia - 35 weeks she was fine and straight on the wards with me (had had steriods at 24 weeks). With DS we got to 35 weeks and bp had crept up a bit, but only enough for low dose meds - then suddenly up all night with headaches, felt worse in the morning, ended up in day assessment, seeing lights, eventually loosing sight down one side, bit of protein, but as my BP wasn't too high they said i was ok and wanted to send me home - i refused, then within 40 mins DS was got out by crash section, i sudden felt hot, dizzy, sick, pressed the button and bp had shot through the roof (had been taken 10 mins before), meds didnt help, when pushing through the magnesium (with numerous consultants arguing if should do section then or not), DS heart rate dropped though the floor and that was it he was out - he was in SCBU (36 weeks) for 5 days with fluid on his lungs and 'due to traumatic delivery' but he was fine.... my consutlant was not happy they hadn't got him out earlier in the day and she if we hadn't insisted on staying neither of us would have made it... my consultant was amazing and without her i would have lost the plot.... she advised no more babies...

problem is now DS is 18 months all i can think of is having another.... am I really stupid to even think about it?

dickiedavisthunderthighs Thu 08-Sep-11 14:10:55

I think you've answered your own post TBH

breadandhoney Thu 08-Sep-11 14:12:37

There is another option. Have you considered adoption?

EricNorthmansMistress Thu 08-Sep-11 14:16:12

tbh IN YOUR SHOES i WOULDN'T RISK IT. yOU HAVE A HEALTHY DAUGHTER AND SON, (oops caps sorry) I'd count my blessings if I were you (sorry)

fanjobanjowanjo Thu 08-Sep-11 14:16:36

Only your doctor can tell you that - if you really want this go and see them.

AuntiePickleBottom Thu 08-Sep-11 14:16:41

i would say yanbu for wanting more but yabu to act apon it.

fairimum Thu 08-Sep-11 14:17:57

adoption is a consideration, not saying will consider going ahead and having another, just considering going to see my consultant to discuss it...

fanjobanjowanjo Thu 08-Sep-11 14:19:20

GO and see them, no harm done if it's a no, it leaves you free to explore other options.

fanjobanjowanjo Thu 08-Sep-11 14:19:42

(you know what I mean when I say no harm I hope!)

CailinDana Thu 08-Sep-11 14:20:24

Poor you, what a time you've had! It seems like the pre-eclampsia is a constant threat so it would be very risky for you to have another child. That said, it is a condition that can be controlled so if you were able to get your consultant to agree to have you monitored very very closely then it might be possible to do it. You need to think very carefully about how much risk you're willing to take. What does your DP/DH think?

thisisyesterday Thu 08-Sep-11 14:22:45

i would def go and talk to the consultant about it.

are the problems you had each time related? likely to happen again? or just plain old bad luck?

SamsGoldilocks Thu 08-Sep-11 14:26:14

you're not stupid for thinking about it, but it is clear (to me) that your body is likely to respond in the same way. You have 2 children - having a third might just tip the balance for you, healthwise, or for your baby.

fairimum Thu 08-Sep-11 14:35:35

in a small % of people pre-eclampsia happens repeatedly... i ahve been closely monitored before and I know the signs and have previously felt the change when bp rose etc... but yes it is a risk.... DP always wanted 3, but after DS said didn't want to go through it again, so just as i was getting my head around no more and looking at getting rid of the baby stuff etc he has now said we should think about another and find out what the risks really are... so now i am all over the place with it!

Sookeh Thu 08-Sep-11 16:51:29

Oh OP it sounds like you've had a hideous time sad I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've been advised not to have a third by the Doctor. I think about it all the time and would love it but I'm not sure I could justify putting my health in jeopardy when I have 2 already.

MeconiumHappens Thu 08-Sep-11 18:42:52

Your consultant advises no more babies. She/he obviously thinks the risks are high. If it were me, I wouldnt risk everything when i already had two healthy children. Count your blessings and focus on them.

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