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to be refusing to go along with this?

(40 Posts)
isaidnoimeanno Thu 08-Sep-11 11:33:48

I am a regular but have name changed for this as I don't want to be outed.

DS is five and has just started year one. Yesterday he was in the playground and a boy from his class took hold of his hood and started swinging him round. Eventually this boy swung him into a wall.

When I arrived to pick ds up I was asked to see the Deputy Head as there had been an "incident" involving ds. When I got there ds was with her with a huge graze down the side of his face and an ice pack on his arm. The Deputy Head took me out of the room and said she had a serious issue to discuss with me. I assumed it was to do with the injury (and the fact that his coat is destroyed). But no she wasn't that interested in that and refused to say what was being done about the other boy.

She wanted to discuss with me a racist comment that my son had made. Apparently when he was asked who had injured him he replied that he didn't know but that the boy had "brown skin".

It appears that this has been logged as a racist incident. DS has been told that he mustn't use those words. I was told that I would get a call from an inclusion unit at the council who would advise me on race issues and would come to my home to discuss it with me.

I had the phone call this morning. They want to come to my home to discuss racism with me. I am furious. Firstly I am not racist. I haven't said a word to anyone and my son merely pointed out the most obvious thing about this boy. He said nothing negative about the boy's race or colour. Secondly when I pointed out to her that amongst our good friends are families from Libya, Singapore, Cambodia and Taiwan she said it was possible to be in that position and still be racist!

I have refused to meet her and she is apparently planning to "discuss it with the head teacher". I am a little concerned as I help out in school and am a governor at another school in the area.

My ds is baffled because he doesn't know what he's done wrong. He said this morning over breakfast "but mummy I thought it didn't matter what colour your skin is?". That's the way we've bought our children up. We haven't discussed colour or race because it doesn't matter. Everyone is equal. I tried explaining that to the caller and was told I was "naive".

Was I naive in not discussing it with the children? The only vaguely "race" education we've done was to take them to the slavery musuem and show them how nasty people can be to each other and how we must never let that happen.

So am I being unreasonable? Naive?

AnnieLobeseder Thu 08-Sep-11 11:36:18

I hate to use the phrase, but this really is PC gorn mad. I could understand if your son had said, "That bloody <insert racist slur here>", but he was just pointing out skin colour.

Unbelievable, and I'd be just as angry if I were you.

NodsSmilesandBacksAway Thu 08-Sep-11 11:36:58

oh fgs, talk about an over reaction of the greatest proportions

i would keep asking what was being done about the physical assault by the other kid. Say you will be taking it to the papers/police/Ofsted

That will get them shifting

Honeypie80 Thu 08-Sep-11 11:40:58

Surely this is not serious????

If it is i'd be informing the school that you will betaking this matter up yourself with the head of the school aswell as the council, local papers in fact anyone else who will listen. The fact your son was clearly injured through no fault of his own, the bruises and ice pack needed are sure signs he was hurt enough to need them, yet nothing was done about this other boy is just disgusting, in fact I'd seriously consider if you want your child to be left alone in a school like this if its what they let happen!

Seriously get the papers involved, they will soon backtrack once everyone gathers round to show they how stupid and over the top they are being!

seeker Thu 08-Sep-11 11:42:39

I don't believe you.

shakey1500 Thu 08-Sep-11 11:43:50

I would be furious. Yanbu at all.

Malcontentinthemiddle Thu 08-Sep-11 11:45:14

Your son's comments at breakfast sound a little bit invented knowingly whimsical to me!

cjbartlett Thu 08-Sep-11 11:45:34

What a load of tosh
Agree with Seeker
Swinging around by his hood? Someone would have stopped them. Us this a reception child?

porcamiseria Thu 08-Sep-11 11:46:04

ooooh thats annoying, !!! what stupid Head

stay very calm but line of defence is

DS did not know child and used this ourely as a term to identify him
clarify is this and only this is the racism, get very clear on this
your son was hurt, and unless you see this is if equal focus you will make a formal complaint

not ideal is it

WidowWadman Thu 08-Sep-11 11:46:22

I find that story not quite believable either

RealityVonCrapp Thu 08-Sep-11 11:47:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistlethrush Thu 08-Sep-11 11:47:38

To a 5yo, 'brown skin' is akin to 'blonde hair' 'long hair' 'pigtails' 'glasses' etc. Absolutely ridiculous. He was pointing out something about the person that attacked him.

MangoMonster Thu 08-Sep-11 11:49:03

Really hope this is not true. It's too ridiculous for words.

Notinmykitchen Thu 08-Sep-11 11:51:10

I hope this is a wind up, because if its true the world really has gone mad!

baressentials Thu 08-Sep-11 11:52:04

cjbartlett in reception my DS and his friends were little buggers for swinging each other around by their hoods. So yes it can happen and no someone doesn't always stop them.

gapants Thu 08-Sep-11 11:52:37

No school I know of, and I work in about 25, would log this as a racist remark. Ask to see their rascism policy, their bullying policy and their inclusion policy.

woowoo2 Thu 08-Sep-11 11:54:13

Your poor ds! How is his face and arm?

This is ridiculous. I would be in there guns blazing!

seeker Thu 08-Sep-11 11:56:08

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

isaidnoimeanno Thu 08-Sep-11 11:56:11

DS is year one.

The school have confirmed that they have logged it as a racist incident and are now following The County Council's policy. They only mentioned that one comment. There may have been a racist incident at school last term as we were all sent a letter about racist language from parents in the playground at school run time. I don't know for definite, just surmising.

DS's comment was in reply to me telling him that he mustn't mention anyone's skin colour today. Last night I told him that it didn't matter what colour anyone's skin was but that some people would be upset if it was mentioned. Probably going OTT but I don't want anything else to happen.

The school has football pens in the playground and the incident happened in one of those. I have been concerned about those for some time as I don't see how the playground staff can see the children properly.

I'm not surprised some people don't believe me. I can barely believe it myself. I can't believe that my local council can afford to run this service.

I have written to the head to ask for an explanation about the incident and what is happening to the other boy.

ShirleyKnotFrotGrot Thu 08-Sep-11 11:56:24

I have to say that this is probably true unfortunately.

A similar thing happed to one of my boys a few years ago (but I didn't have a visit from the race relations board or anything)

It's all to do with legislation that means that schools have to report any incident which regards to race, I think the OP's school is going WAY overboard with this incident, but sadly, I think it's probably not a wind up.

Summatontoast Thu 08-Sep-11 12:10:56

I also can sadly believe this could be true, following an incident with DD when she had just started YR2. During a kids fall out DD had called a child 'poo' which was handled as a racist incident....childish, unpleasant definitely, but racist? Ridiculous. It did not go any further than a letter from school & subsequent meeting between ourselves and the head.

trinot Thu 08-Sep-11 12:14:44

wow, that is shocking. If I were you I would fight this until the very end!! A child describing another child's skin colour as 'brown' is not racist nor should it lead to anyone thinking that he has been influenced by a racist.

Racist is a terrible label to be put on you child and family. I would even go so far as contacting the council before they contact you. Contact a solicitor and possibly even the police for slander!

tethersend Thu 08-Sep-11 12:20:08

Have you seen a copy of the incident reports?

There should be one for the 'racist' incident, and one for your son's incident.

Hullygully Thu 08-Sep-11 12:22:47

<hauls swastika up flag pole and dusts off nazi insignia>

ScarlettIsWalking Thu 08-Sep-11 12:24:07

Oh my God poor you and your poor son. What a horrific thing to happen.

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