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AIBU to think baby showers are completely ridiculous?

(280 Posts)
woowoo2 Thu 08-Sep-11 10:31:33

I didn't have a baby shower (ds is 6 now) as it wasn't the 'done thing' back then. My real friends saw me throughout my pregnancy, picked up lovely little trinkets and outfits when the mood took them etc.

I didn't ever expect gifts or any sort of fuss, I mean - you have chosen to have a baby, surely the onus is on you to buy your moses basket etc (I have seen several given as gifts at baby showers and was shock )

AIBU to think they are ridiculous, boring as hell and rather cheeky?

Kayano Thu 08-Sep-11 10:33:16

Depends if the mum organises it herself or her friends do it and invite people iyswim?

I'm not having one but I have no issues with them at all

Itsjustafleshwound Thu 08-Sep-11 10:35:30

They fall in the same category as hen parties/weekends, kitchen teas - they aren't essential, but then some people like to be made a fuss of ... so YABU.

Personally, I would tell the mother to be that the size of the diamond for the eternity ring is dependent on just how loudly she yells in childbirth!!

MutantPubicCrabs Thu 08-Sep-11 10:36:53

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worraliberty Thu 08-Sep-11 10:37:04

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KittyFane Thu 08-Sep-11 10:40:40

Hate them, didn't have one and avoid them at work.
Thankfully my friends don't have them.
They remind me of tupperware parties.

cantspel Thu 08-Sep-11 10:40:41

Never had one, never been to one and dont know of anyone who has had one.

rogersmellyonthetelly Thu 08-Sep-11 10:41:43

I think it's nice nice to have a get together for friends before the baby arrives, but when it comes with a gift list, I'm very dubious. If someone wants to bring along something to pamper the mum, that's great, but having a gift list like the American style ones is just too much imo.
Personally I'd rather have my mates round for pizza chocolate and a good gossip/cheesy DVD than have loads of gifts, but that's just the way I am.

Filibear Thu 08-Sep-11 10:42:30

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roundtable Thu 08-Sep-11 10:42:39

Aargh, this topic is really getting on my last nerve now. The only time I would agree with you op, is if someone threw their own baby shower. I don't know anyone who has done that. Perhaps that says something about some peoples selection of friends?

My friends decided to throw me a baby shower, because they are my friends and they wanted to do something nice for me. We had a lovely afternoon and it was a thoughtful thing to do.

People who keep complaining about baby showers sound rather bitter in my opinion. It's not our fault that we have friends who want to treat us. If you don't like it...don't go, but don't begrudge people who like to do nice things for others.

plupervert Thu 08-Sep-11 10:43:39

Well, given that it's a hassle to organise one, surely it's easier not to have it?

peacypops Thu 08-Sep-11 10:44:22

I had a baby shower prior to the birth of my first child and it was lovely. My friends suggested it as a way of getting together all my closest female friends to mark the imminent arrival of my daughter. It was just a lovely girlie afternoon - cakes, tea and yes a few gifts (baby-grows, muslins and other essential baby things) There was nothing flash about it and I really appreciated it - and throughly enjoyed seeing all my good friends together (something which doesn't happen very often when children and family activities start to take priority)

peacypops Thu 08-Sep-11 10:45:47

Here here roundtable!

Catslikehats Thu 08-Sep-11 10:46:04

Some people have friends who like to get together, eat some lovely cake, maybe have some champagne and spoil the mum to be with some before baby treats and possibly give some gifts for the baby in advance. I don't really see what the issue is.

My friends did this for me when I was pregnant with my eldest back in the days when it was just a nice afternoon with friends. Don't really see what the big deal is hmm

Filibear Thu 08-Sep-11 10:46:17

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Maisiethemorningsidecat Thu 08-Sep-11 10:46:24

Yes, uber-annoying. It is an Americanism which needs to be knocked on the head sharpish. I'd have been mortified if anyone had thrown one for me.

Deesus Thu 08-Sep-11 10:49:12

A couple of my friends have had one but they've been organised by other people so I think that's ok. We've also just all chipped in a tenner or so for a pressie and usually get something nice for mum (as babies get so many pressies) like a voucher for a massage or something.

The last one I went to was actually organised for after the baby was born - again the pressie we got was for the mum, we all had a coo at the baby (before she was taken by GPs) then we all sat round and had a gossip & a few cocktails!

So depends how you do them really - I would be put off if there was a guest list though!

roundtable Thu 08-Sep-11 10:50:28

And while I'm on one, why does it need to be criticised because it's from America? Replace America with certain other countries/cultures and people would shout racist as soon as it was typed. (I'm not American btw)

Eek I need this baby to come now, I am so bad tempered.

dickiedavisthunderthighs Thu 08-Sep-11 10:53:28

I am in my mid-thirties and have friends popping lovely babies out left, right and centre. Thankfully only two had baby showers and they were agonisingly bad - please bring presents, please bring food, please play god-awful cringy party games etc etc. I've vowed never to attend another.
If you want to see your friends before you give birth why not just invite them round, give them tea and cake, have a laugh, DON'T ask for presents and for god's sake don't call it a baby shower.
[grumpy emoticon]

tiddleypompom Thu 08-Sep-11 10:54:20

For me it's the term itself that offends. Not sure why - perhaps just an inbuilt resistance to Americanisms - but I dislike the idea of being showered by gifts (or babies for that matter).

I couldn't even bear to imagine Posh Spice's shower hence had to steer trolley well away from magazine racks for several days - but the idea of a collection of happy friends being excited about arrival of new baby is hardly unpleasant. Especially when champagne is involved. I seem to have made it to 38 weeks without being showered however, and am not upset (or friendless).

banana87 Thu 08-Sep-11 10:54:26

As an American, YABU. I happen to love baby showers. Spoiling Mum to be before she has the baby is a lovely thing for a friend to do. And done the right way, they can be quite entertaining smile

dickiedavisthunderthighs Thu 08-Sep-11 10:54:54

Oh and for the record, I've no time for the casual xenophobic comments on here, slagging baby showers off for being 'American' is pretty ignorant.

Maisiethemorningsidecat Thu 08-Sep-11 10:55:15

No-one would shout racist if it was a shit custom. It's criticised because it's a piece of nonsense designed to line the pockets of Hallmark et al.

roundtable Thu 08-Sep-11 10:56:25

I didn't say you didn't have nice friends Filibear I'm sure your friends are lovely. I just don't like that people who do want to throw their friends baby showers are mocked so much.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone start a thread moaning about people who don't give baby showers and how awful they are but there have been quite a few of the opposite.

Catonkey Thu 08-Sep-11 10:57:37

My friends threw me a surprise baby shower and it was one of the loveliest things that's ever been done for me. You said your real friends saw me throughout my pregnancy, picked up lovely little trinkets and outfits when the mood took them etc well my real friends did exactly the same but chose to give me them all together and make a bit of a party out of it.

I got some lovely treats, my DD got lots of lovely stuff, we had great food (everyone had taken a plate of something) and all my friends got pissed had a few glasses of wine :D I had some lovely non alcoholic champers.

Perfect pick me up at 8 months pregnant when I was feeling tired, heavy and a bit fed up.

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