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...to think that a job advert...

(25 Posts)
purplepidjin Wed 07-Sep-11 19:11:51

...written in the first person is extremely patronising and sounds like it was written by a fourteen year old?

I do shock

BatsUpMeNightie Wed 07-Sep-11 19:16:52

Definitely wanky!

microfight Wed 07-Sep-11 19:17:28

yes especially as the benefits section changes!

HairyGrotter Wed 07-Sep-11 19:18:02

Cringe

Voidka Wed 07-Sep-11 19:18:25

Love how its switches back to third person when it gets to the benefits bit.

woollyideas Wed 07-Sep-11 19:29:29

"I support the Opticians Manager around achieving green people key performance indicators"

WTF?

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Wed 07-Sep-11 19:39:29

YANBU - this seems to be everyhere nowadays. I complained to DH on Sunday that the handbook given out to volunteer helpers at the Olympics is written in this style, and extremely patronising

purplepidjin Wed 07-Sep-11 19:44:02

I didn't actually bother reading as far as the benefits section, just decided it'd make a better AIBU than advert blush

It's for a relatively senior, specialist job too. I can understand why some prick marketing guru might misguidedly see this as appropriate for a 16yo school leaver but for a medical professional? hmm

Fiendishlie Wed 07-Sep-11 20:36:00

woolyideas the green is a traffic light - you are achieving the key performance indicators (targets) for the people quadrant of the tesco 'steering wheel' ie customer service. Red = not achieving, etc.

Cereal Wed 07-Sep-11 20:49:22

The manager tells me how I'm getting on sometimes.

"I have a periodic one to one with my Opticians Manager to review progress of the business and the key performance indicators"

Cereal Wed 07-Sep-11 20:52:16

Must be one for the Plain English Campaign

StealthPolarBear Wed 07-Sep-11 20:53:06

Is it maybe lifted straight from the contract that "I" sign?
Still wanky but makes a little more sense.

I hate the ones that are written with you in mind:

"WE are a market leader with a drive for perfection. YOU are a team player with a passion for great customer service. What sets you apart from the rest is your determination to succeed..." etc. You can just see them thinking "this'll have them nodding along at home"

purplepidjin Wed 07-Sep-11 21:01:13

SPB, I don't even click those! You can just tell that the person doing the interviewing will have over-gelled hair and a suspiciously flash car and will therefore get my hackles well and truly risen (which they will think is a euphemism...)

Rowena8482 Wed 07-Sep-11 22:03:19

"trading safe and legally" - someone hand him an "ly" PLEASE...

purplepidjin Wed 07-Sep-11 22:46:14

I've done 5 pages of Reed, 3 of Office Angels and am on page 4 of the local Echo. "ly"s are the least of my problems...

grin

Anybody got any suggestions of where to look next? I truly loathe my job sad

Mandy2003 Wed 07-Sep-11 22:50:41

That is awful. I think I read backwards to an extent because when I got to the Benefits section I wondered where the "I get 4 weeks holiday..." had gone!

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Wed 07-Sep-11 22:56:44

Can I just go off on a tangent? (feel free to ignore)

Fashion for history-buffs on TV docs to talk about events in the present tense - to create excitement and a sense of relevance "Henry and his troops are in grave danger. Richard sees his chance" F orf

StealthPolarBear Wed 07-Sep-11 22:56:44

what are ypu loking for? Have you tried totaljobs? Monster (bit crap i know), indeed.co.uk

purplepidjin Wed 07-Sep-11 23:03:59

Ah, the joys of history for the goldfish attention-spanned <rolls eyes>

totaljobs irritate me by not having a geographical clue. Monster only ever seems to have repeats of what's in the Echo except in mind-melting format.

Will try indeed tomorrow, need sleep now!! Thank you

StealthPolarBear Wed 07-Sep-11 23:19:28

good luck

I live near Washington (Tyne and Wear), Quebec and Toronto (both tiny villages, maybe a few hundred inhabitants between them). I am always amazed to find that I am only a few km away from a top job in a major player on the world market, until I realise the jobhsite is in the wrong continent.

StealthPolarBear Wed 07-Sep-11 23:23:15

hey and who knew Leeds was within 25 miles of Durham?? They must have folded the map that day.

purplepidjin Thu 08-Sep-11 09:48:26

Apparently, Wiltshire is within 20 miles of where I live, 20 miles south of Southampton hmm

Ditto Exeter hmm

I did a one day a week commute to Portsmouth <spit> for a while. It was horrendous. Do NOT try and tell me to go via the Isle of Wight; I know it's only 15 miles that way but I will NOT be negotiating two ferries each way angry

cory Thu 08-Sep-11 09:52:26

<joins GetAway's tangent>

Mind you, dropping into the historical present to provide more tension is a very old tradition popular in both Roman and medieval writing: it may simply mean that the presenter has overdosed on their Tacitus. To me, it reads of old donnishness.

purplepidjin Thu 08-Sep-11 13:36:59

"Identify all potential recovery opportunities including duel insurance"

Roffle. I thought that fashion died out in the 1800s???

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch Thu 08-Sep-11 15:54:54

Aaah cory - I did not know this. To me it has been a noticeably recent "history is fun!" TV phenomenon. Maybe it's justified then

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