I think I'm suffering from depression. I realised this when I began crying on the tube for no reason on my way home from work. DH is out and I don't want to worry my parents or friends, I desperately need to keep my head clear and know I need to speak to the gp in the morning.
The symptoms:
A nagging sense of anxiety at all times, panic over stupid things. Stressed at work and yet i can't focus on the simple tasks that would resolve the stress.
I've had this voice in the back of my head telling myself that I'm a failure, everything I do is crap, life isn't going to get better for weeks. I can't rationalise it away.
Last week DH was away and I cried literally every night. Not missing him. I don't know what. I had a cry on the sofa every night with the cat on my lap. I threw myself into cleaning the flat to make it nice for his return and then on Sunday I felt this cold dead lethargic grip around myself. I got it into my head that I don't love him anymore. I couldn't enjoy his returning. I can't bear to be touched.
I cried yesterday morning when I got up. I felt so slow and numb it took me three times longer to get ready. I cried this morning when I got up. I spent an hour crying and I was late for work. I cried in the loos. I cried on the train on the way home. When I'm not crying I feel numb.
...it's depression isn't it. It's so strange, on paper everything in my life is going well. I had depression before, a few years ago, but then everything in my life was going badly.
I know this reads cold. I'm trying to think systematically. I have a habit of making stupid decisions when I'm depressed or low.
I think this all sounds really cold. I am trying to think systematically. I'd be so grateful for anything anyone could say.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To ask if anyone could just "talk" to me...
71 replies
IHeartKittensAndWine · 06/09/2011 19:13
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.