Am I?
DH is a messy person by nature, but he is just taking the piss at the moment. He leaves cups, plates, wrappers and packets wherever he has been using them. Today this meant a half-drunk mug of tea on the dining table, 3 glasses in the living room and about 6 next to his bed, plus 2 crisp packets on the living room floor. Shoes and coats are left wherever he takes them off. Clean clothes and dirty clothes are all in one heap on the bedroom floor. There is a pile on the dining table of his "crap" things like work paperwork, a brochure he ordered, random bills of his etc. Furniture in our bedroom is piled high with things of his that he doesn't put away, everything from his passport to a pair of flip flops of his. He played football last night and his bag complete with a sweaty top thrown on top in in the kitchen, it was smack bang in the doorway this morning.
It's getting now so it really is out of control; I have a young toddler and it's hard enough to do housework as he gets up to allsorts when i'm busy, but in order to clean the house I have to tidy DH's crap away first, it takes ages. I have tried putting everything of his down by his side of the bed, explaining that I needed it out of sight to keep the house tidy and he retaliated by putting loads of clothes by of mine that he'd got out of drawers and cupboards in a heap by my side of the bed, even getting tags out of the bin for a pair of shoes I'd bought and throwing them on there too. He put DS to bed last night and just left the dirty nappy in the bedroom. Wet towels are again just left wherever he is when he finishes using them, whether that's on a living room chair or on the bannister or the hall floor.
I'm totally fed up with it, I'm very assertive and do tell him to put things away but he doesn't and won't. The house just feels like it's a mess ALL the time because he won't put things away. Even our 2 older children keep their rooms reasonably tidy and clean.
Another thing he always does that pisses me right off is as soon as anything needs doing, for example the kitchen needs cleaning after dinner, he goes "to the toilet" and sits on it for 45 minutes playing Angry Birds. He does this sometimes at the kids bathtimes and bedtimes too, just disappears into the downstairs loo. If I say can he be quick as X or Y needs doing, he says "Oh so I'm not allowed to go to the toilet now" and is really childish.
I just don't know what to do; I am a SAHM and am more than happy to do the housework/washing/ironing/cooking but not to be a servant cleaning up all his junk.
AIBU?
To get fed up with DH leaving stuff EVERYWHERE!
ILoatheMickeyMouseClubhouse · 06/09/2011 16:45
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought my fecking husband went to WORK each morning...I didn't realise he had a second FAMILY! ROFLMAO
I spent the limited free time (just bubs now dc1 and dc2 are at school again) this am b4 picking up dc2 at 11.30am (stupid school has stupid settling in period) picking up laundry for DH from around the house and spare room (currently his domain as bubs is still little) and tissues and plates and food wrappers and various other bits of crud. HAD to get the washing as I couldn't face another melt down when he realised he had run out of clothes again so now have about 6 weeks of back laundry to do, having been fishing down the side of the bed - an unfortunate hangover from my attempt to MAKE him use a laundry basket instead of the entire house.
Sorry - no advice here, have only just found the computer again this am since the clear up.
DH always was disgustingly messy b4 we got together. Sadly his redeeming qualities more than blinded me made up for it, but it is one heck of a way to live and you have my sincere sympathy. It drives me nuts, especially when he tells me it's a mess because I don't have any systems...I have lots of systems that the other 4 people in the house use - he just thinks he doesn't have to look after himself or use anybody elses systems, never mind do very much else.
It is also annoying frustrating when his family compliment me on what a good job I've done improving his domestic abilities...
He does help out with the kids more now tho and usually does bathtime for dc2 (dc1 too old to need help now) IF he is home from work early enough, but this is only in the last couple of years.
12 years together and still saving for the divorce legal fees counting 
IME they don't change - and I do point this out to the eldest when discussing the merits of relationships...
Does he realise he's doing it? I've been 'training' my DH (and yes, I know how awful and patronising that sounds!) for a few years as he really just doesn't see/care about mess unless it's pointed out to him. So I ignore everything else and ask him to make sure he picks up the bathmat after his shower and puts it over the side of the bath, which is only one thing to think about, and he wants to please (!) so he does it...then a couple of weeks later when it's become a habit I casually mention that it would be really helpful if he'd remember to air the bed before he goes to work in the morning and we work on that...
I don't think he realises that I'm training him like a dog 
but it's working...
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