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not to accept that a 15 year old boy who has sex with a 24 year old woman is a victim of crime

(475 Posts)
babybarrister Tue 06-Sep-11 12:58:43

a friend's 15 year old son has just had sex with a 24 year old woman. she has committed a criminal offence [although apparently he told her he was 20 and he does look older].

Knowing this boy I do find it difficult to accept that he is in any way a "victim of crime" as he has been boasting about his conquest around his school ....

fivegomadindorset Tue 06-Sep-11 12:59:55

I quite agree with you especially as he lied about his age.

Tchootnika Tue 06-Sep-11 13:01:00

Sounds just like 'Notes on a Scandal'.
Difficult one, though.
If he was a girl, would you think (s)he was a 'victim'?

Bloodymary Tue 06-Sep-11 13:02:28

Difficult, what if it was the other way around. 15 year old girl and a 24 year old man?

babybarrister Tue 06-Sep-11 13:02:45

might think was a victim if a girl - and yes I have a son!

seeker Tue 06-Sep-11 13:03:34

A 15 year old who looks 20? Really?

ShirleyKnot Tue 06-Sep-11 13:03:36

Of course he is a victim of a crime. hmm

Tchootnika Tue 06-Sep-11 13:04:38

might think was a victim if a girl
- even if she said she was 20, looked 20, etc?
Why?
(Not that I'm sure what I think about this, btw.)

worraliberty Tue 06-Sep-11 13:06:50

I don't think I've ever seen a 15yr old boy that could pass as 20

ArseyContarsie Tue 06-Sep-11 13:06:52

of course he's a victim of a crime. UK law states it's unlawful to have sex with a person under the age of 16 yrs (not a quote of law btw)

and i'd say he was a prime example of being a victim of the early sexualisation of children too

RedOnion Tue 06-Sep-11 13:08:19

A 15 year old that looks 20? A 15 year old girl could perhaps pass for that age but a boy? I fail to believe it. They just look like gangly 8 year olds. So yes, I believe he is a victim of crime and whilst he may be bragging about it now, it may be that later in life when he is mature enough to process what happened to him, that it could cause him problems.

ShirleyKnot Tue 06-Sep-11 13:09:14

And actually this has pissed me right off.

If some woman of 24 fucked my 15 year old CHILD you could be damn sure I would be pushing for the strongest possible sanctions and I am astonished that anyone would think anything different.

Fucking HELL.

Thingumy Tue 06-Sep-11 13:09:17

Is he a mature 15 yr old then OP?

Thingumy Tue 06-Sep-11 13:11:36

This happened to my dh.

And as he got older he realised the woman was predatory (he was 14 and she was 25)

He had lots of issues because of it.

She broke the law didn't she?

Kayano Tue 06-Sep-11 13:11:45

Seeker and those doubing a 15 year old can look older

Of course they can.
When I met DH I asked if he was in his 20s, he was 16! Honest to got I thought he was 22 or something.

If he lied and the woman was deceived I don't think she should be punished, but that leaves the door open for other s to abuse this

Fiendishlie Tue 06-Sep-11 13:11:55

my 15yr old DS passes for 18 (ie alcohol purchasing) easily shock

MmeLindor. Tue 06-Sep-11 13:14:32

He didn't need to pass for 20 though, just for 16, which would be legal.

In any case, it hinges on whether she knew that he was just 15yo. If she did then yes, she should be punished. Whether he was boasting or not. There are reasons why we have laws prohibiting adults having sex with those under 16yo.

ShirleyKnot Tue 06-Sep-11 13:14:51

shock

I can't believe what I'm reading. This is so sad.

Thingumy - yes she broke the law and is an abuser. The same as if a man of 24 fucked a 15 year old girl.

Badtasteflump Tue 06-Sep-11 13:14:58

Yes sure the area becomes slightly more 'grey' when someone is 15, compared to younger, obviously. But the fact is, it's illegal for an adult to have sex with somebody under 16. So IMO it's tough shit if the adult doesn't make sure that is in fact the case before they get down to it.

The law is there to protect children, so the adult in any case like this is and should be open to prosecution. Otherwise where would the line be drawn?

tyler80 Tue 06-Sep-11 13:15:44

I don't think it's unreasonable. In the same way if a 15 year old girl has consensual sex with a man who believes her to be older (so not in a position of authority) I don't think she is a victim of crime either

Badtasteflump Tue 06-Sep-11 13:15:46

And I Agree with shirley (and others)

miniwedge Tue 06-Sep-11 13:16:20

Agree entirely with ShirleyKnot.

The gender isn't important, at 15 although I accept that there are many that will be sexually active, the difference in emotional maturity and reasoning between an 15 yr old and a 24 yr old is huge.

Againagainagain Tue 06-Sep-11 13:17:02

My 16 year old boy could easily pass for 19, his 21 year old cousin looks more like 16 though

babybarrister Tue 06-Sep-11 13:17:13

to look at he could pass for 18 easily. he is months off being 16 when he could not be considered a victim as a matter of law. he is outwardly proud and smug in relation to his "catch" ....

ShirleyKnot Tue 06-Sep-11 13:17:49

You might not think it tyler80, but it's still true. Having sex with someone under the age of 16 is breaking the law.

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