AIBU to consider letting my 8 year old be at home for an hour or two alone...

[missymarmite]

...every day afterschool.

I cannot continue like this. I cannot make ends meet. Childcare is about the only thing I can think of at the moment to cut. Currently, DS goes to an out of school club every day. We live in a small, rural town. Practically all the kids in the neighbourhood go to the same school. In the morning, I leave him with a neighbour whose daughter is in the same class. Both have been walking to school alone every morning for a few months now, as the school is only a 10 minute walk down quiet residential streets. I don't feel I can ask any more of the parents, but they would be willing to be an emergency safe point for DS. Most of the kids in the street play out every afternoon anyway.

WIBU to give DS a copy of the key to the house, to be able to get in to drop his bag in, until I get home from work, usually around 4-5pm-ish?

[rainbowinthesky]

Absolutely not. You need to sort out childcare. Stupid, irresponsible idea. As a teacher I would report you if I knew you.

[rainbowinthesky]

If I needed to make cuts, the welfare of the most precious thing to me would not be something I'd be looking at.

[Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern]

I think 8 is still too young for this. I can see why it would be tempting though, my dd is nearly 8 and has suddenly started seeming so much more grown up and responsible but I do feel this is just way to big a responsibility for a child that age.

[Mitmoo]

Eight years old, nope I wouldn't. Too many "what ifs" for me and doing it every day just gives me more "what ifs".

[Andrewofgg]

Not quite. We first left DS alone for a couple of hours with a trusted neighbour over the road as a contact, at 11, and he was mature for a boy of 11.

Not what you wanted to hear, but that is how it is.

[ToothbrushThief]

Sounds tough for you missymarmite but 8 is too young. Any chance of a childcare swop with a another parent?

[MmeLindor.]

I am all for giving children independence from an early age, but I think that 8yo is still to young to leave a child alone on a regular basis.

To those of you ready to jump on the OP, re-read the OP. She sounds quite desperate.

Is there anything else you could save money on? Perhaps we could find another way.

Are you a single parent?

[nagynolonger]

No sorry 8 is too young even with neighbours close by and mobile phones.
Even if all the DC are playing out now they will not be in a few weeks time.
I would cut down on everything else even the food bill first.

[StealthPolarBear]

Is there any chance you can change your hours around at work to help? Or leave work an hour earlier but do an hour and a half in the evening at home? (no idea what you do obviously).

Are there any local responsible teenagers who could help out?

[Mitmoo]

MME good point.

To try to be constructive, I do Avon, it doesn't take much time once you've built your round and brings me in around £120-£130 every three weeks, first campaigns were less but it builds. (I don't get anything from Avon before I'm accused of having a vested interest, I do recruit but only get paid for the representives I recruit personally), anything I get there is on top of the £120-£130 in commissions from direct sales - genuinely trying to be helpful here. I'm only on my third campaign now.

I asked about Avon and Kleeneze on here and Kleeneze had really bad feedback plus they wanted £150 up front for books so went for Avon instead.
Avon give you your first two sets of books free so you don't risk your own money which I liked, because if it didn't work I would have only lost shoe leather.


Look and Money Saving Expert website, there are ways on there to up your income and cut your costs, you might hit on something there that helps.

[cory]

Even I think 8 is too young for being alone on a regular basis. Apart from the safety side, imo they still need a lot of adult support at that age.

[DilysPrice]

As a one off, in an emergency, maybe. Every day, no it's just not fair.
Have you checked that you're claiming every benefit you're entitled too? Can you get help with childcare costs? And yes, try moneysaving expert for more ideas.

[GooseyLoosey]

Ds is 8 and I wouldn't do this. Second the suggestion about seeing if a local teenager (preferably one who you know) would be willing to help out. Sorry.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

I'm sorry, you sound like you have a problem but I really think 8 is too young.

I have a nearly 9 yearbold and I cpwill leave him for 30 mins tops. I work nights and have gone to sleep upstairs while he is downstairs a couple if times, but he knows he can get me. I wouldn't leave him any longer, honestly.

Both my ds's play without me for fairly long periods now but they would notice if I wasn't around.

[ihatecbeebies]

Too young sorry, yabu. Could you not apply for tax credits to help you with childcare? Have you checked if you are entitled to housing benefit, if you are struggling that badly to make ends meet you might be entitled to some sort of help?

[Bellavita]

Far too young. Sorry.

[gillybean2]

What childcare do you use currently?
School may have some after school clubs that don't cost or you may find it cheaper to have a childminder.
If the childcare you use isn't OFSTED registered and you get help with childcare costs as a lone parent perhaps it is time to swap to ofsted registered so you can claim up to 70% of it back.

Personally I wouldn't leave alone at 8.
Crunch the figures, you may be better off dropping an hour at work each day if your WTC goes up enough (bearing in mind your tax & childcare will go down)

[mummytime]

Okay are you claiming all that you are entitled to? I'd suggest CAB if you are not sure.
How much is the after school care you are paying for? Would a child minder or some other solution be cheaper? Would a parent look after your LO for less? Are there any other after school activities that cost less?
Can you cut down on car use? Save money on food bills (do more cooking from scratch, freeze ahead).
Can you (or your partner if you have one) get an extra job which doesn't need more child care?

[mariebl]

Check what the law says regarding supervision of children. It doesn't take into account the maturity of a child, how quiet it is where you live etc its black and white and they seem to take a pretty dim view if its not stuck to.

[margerykemp]

Go to cab and check you are getting the right amount of tax credits/ benefits.

[MangoMonster]

I think 8 is too young. Appreciate you must be finding it hard though.

[happystressedmum]

I personally think it depends on the child as some 8 year olds are more mature and sensible than others. I think for an hour or so is okay IF the child is sensible and they have a neighbour to call on if they were concerned about something.

[create]

mariebl, AFAIK there is no law regarding the supervision of children i.e there is no fixed age when it's OK to leave them. It's a very grey area as far as the law's concerned.

I was given a key to let me and my younger sister into the house after school from age 8. We were fine , nothing went wrong etc. I did once set the kitchen alight trying to melt a dried up nail varnish, but was of an age when everyone would be saying it was fine to leave me then! IMO a sensible 8 yo would respond well to the responsibilty and it's probably safer than leaving a teenager, but I still wouldn't do it, just becasue of the small possibilty of something going wrong (and the way you get judged )

FWIW, although I have no issues regarding what my parents did, my sister, now a teacher approaching 40, is still really hung up on how neglected we were It's only that one issue too, otherwise, she admits we were very well cared for.

You say you can't ask any more of the neighbour, but have you tried? Put it in a way that makes it easy for them to say no, but they might be glad to for a small payment (i.e less than you pay ATM) Are there any elderly neighbours who might be glad of some "help" around the house and some company for a couple of hours? Or someone who would enjoy helping her with her reading/spellings etc. My neighbour (70+) likes to get DS2 to help him with his woodwork and his wife loves it if one of them goes to read to her.