Thread for y7 starters at State schools only?

[flack]

Bit silly since DC2 is 2 yrs away from y7, but I am having a bout of insomnia so indulge me....
This is not private school bashing, btw, I have an older DC already at private senior school.

I think I will want a lot of mutual support/hand holding when DC2 goes to secondary. I imagine that parents of children going to private high schools have many different issues from parents of kids going to state secondary. I think I will get distracted & confused if I keep reading about stuff that only applies in the private sector (I admit to being easily distracted & confused :)). So when the time comes... would IBU to start a support thread just for parents of pupils going to state secondaries?

I would quite like to hear from people who have been on these types of threads in past and who had kids in state secondaries, whether you felt the contributions from private school parents were mostly relevant or not.

[donthateme]

Yabu for thinking you need a thread at all. There is way too much over thinking about all this. Parents who stress and worry and feel they need to start Internet threads about it are no doubt transferring their anxiety to their kids.

Here's a novel idea: let your child just move up to their new school. In all likelihood it'll all be fine and dandy.
Here's an even more novel idea: if s/he does encounter any difficulty, how about raising it with the tutor or head of year at school, rather than slating the school on mumsnet

[seeker]

What are you imagining the specific issues will be?

[ZZZenAgain]

start any kind of thread you like. If you have a thread title which says it is about entering year 7 at state schools, I don't see what the problem is with that personally. I suppose if you don't anta lot of conflicting information about how schools outside the state sector operate, you might have to make your OP short and include that somehow.

Just do what you want. There is no absolute guarantee that MNers with private school experience will not contribute but you can try, if that is what you want.

[cjbartlett]

When I started private school I had no idea what prep was

I was given lines as punishments

2 things that don't happen in state schools

Can't think of much else

[mummytime]

Actually the biggest difference for my kids would be what happens before they get to year 7. As we are not in an 11+ area, for private schools they have to sit entry exams, for State they don't. But schools differ massively, and some private schools are far more like my kids school than other comprehensives.
But to be worrying about a thread you may start in two years time seems as if you are over thinking it a lot.

[flack]

Sorry, I apologise (I was BU) for bit of middle-of-night angst (does nobody else get that?). I can see why it would be daft now, touches on too many sensitive issues, divisive, etc. I wouldn't mind at all if there was a private-only thread (@ Everlong). But agree the mere title of it would lead to Barnies.

It was just the relevance issue... I don't think parents going private will be interested in LEA admissions criteria and application forms, appeals, catchment area boundaries or how to get free public transport (meals, uniform), and my eyes glaze over at talk of entrance exams, bursaries or y7 vs. y9 Form Entry dilemmas. I'm sure that there are a lot of other differences (I haven't even mentioned how private might have to be funded in some cases, "Is it worth the sacrifice?" discussion), just lots of stuff where common experience is lacking.

[exoticfruits]

I am very perplexed to know what the difference might be?

[Tomorrowslookingfine]

Not really an AIBU, better placed in the school section perhaps?

[scrambedeggs]

kids go to school
mum gets on with work/whatever
kid comes home

repeat till 16

[sue52]

YABU to spend the next 2 years worrying about this.

[SDTGisAnEvilGenius]

In fairness to flack - middle-of-the-night worries can seem enormous and insurmountable - and maybe by writing it down here, she got it out of her system enough that she could sleep - I hope so, anyway.

Flack - picture your worries about your dc starting secondary school, and picture yourself packing them into a box that is attached to a balloon. Let go of the box, and the balloon will carry the worries away, and you can watch them get smaller and smaller.

You and your dc will be fine when Year7 rolls round - and mumsnet will be here for you then.

[SDTGisAnEvilGenius]

Scrambledeggs - I am, however, a little perturbed that in your post plural kids go to school, but only one comes home - what happened to the others?

[flack]

Thanks SDTG :).
I guess at bottom of this is the fact that DC2 will attend a local HS with mediocre GCSE results and I keep having to remind myself that it's an acceptable choice. Also, I was bullied in school badly and as I recall, age y7-y9 is about the riskiest age for horrid bullying. Also, because DC1 hasn't had a secondary transfer experience (but is about to start y7) I am feeling left out (lots of contact with his peers who are going thru it). So it's all getting jumbled up in my head.

Oh, and I am foreign, so there's a lot of "different" stuff to get to grips with for me personally, too. And DC's dad not much involved... and many other little things I won't bore you with.

I was/am quite blasé about DC starting primary school, by comparison.

[flack]

ps: if I turn up on Secondary Transfer threads next year and ask lots of "dumb" questions don't yell at me, okay? Especially if the answer is "that" (something like "bursaries") "only applies to people going to private schools!". Because I am foreign, so there's lots you know & assume that I don't.

[slavetofilofax]

I don't think parents going private will be interested in LEA admissions criteria and application forms, appeals, catchment area boundaries or how to get free public transport (meals, uniform), and my eyes glaze over at talk of entrance exams, bursaries or y7 vs. y9 Form Entry dilemmas.

Perhaps I should start a thread just for grammar school parents who have to think about both sides of that discussion then?

Maybe not, it would probably get me flamed for stealth boasting

[Malcontentinthemiddle]

It could of course be argued that you don't have to think about both sides......

[Fennel]

Maybe you want a separate thread for people whose dc are off to local high schools with mediocre results (I could join ). There are separate threads for the grammar school people, all that 11+ angst, and I haven't notice anyone getting particularly upset with that.

[exoticfruits]

I always have a go at 11+ angst-I would abolish all grammar schools.

[seeker]

Oh, yes! I would abolish all grammar schools in a heartbeat, and I have one child at one and another doing the 11+ next week!

[flack]

Good idea, Fennel! :)

[exoticfruits]

It won't get very far Fennel MNetters don't have mediocre, average DCs. . (Not when you can have a long thread on the 'failure' of only a B in GCSEs.)

[Fennel]

We might need separate threads again. Those sending dc to bog standard local comps cos that's all there is. Those who are doing so cos kids too thick for grammars. Those doing so out of intransigent leftie ideological stances. etc. You don't want to be associating on the underperforming local comp threads with people who've chosen it for the wrong reasons...