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AIBU?

when my sons dad visits

3 replies

katiem1986 · 05/09/2011 20:57

my partner and i split about yr ago, since we split his hygiene shall we say has been discusting. infact he makes me feel so sick i try and make xcuses so he cant come round. he works in a kitchen so youd think he would clean up but his hands are always black and his nails are discusting, he smells greasy and he just is gross. i feel so sorry for my 2 half yr old who he touches holds his hand, then my partner always asks for so many kisses when he leaves and i just cringe. and this evening he was over and he went to toilet but didnt wash his hands. soon as he goes i get my son change of clothes and baby wiped. or even a bath. ive had to stop my ex from coming in my home as i have to open all windows to let fresh air in and get rid of the smell. i really wish i was over reacting and this was an exageration but my ex really is this bad and i hate it. my son had 3 sickness bugs and 2 of them was close proximity after hed seen his dad, doctors told me germs from him wouldnt have made my son ill but im not so sure. ive tryd to leave hints but apart from saying 'have a shower' he just doesnt listen. i dont want to be rude but i dont know what else i can do. :(

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slavetofilofax · 05/09/2011 21:23

That's minging! If this is true, can you tell us what restaurant he works at please so we can avoid?

You either have to tell him or put up with it I think. The germs will probably help boost ds's immune system at least, bit I think I would have to say something. You don't have to make it into a big deal, just be upfront.

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PinsAndNoodles · 05/09/2011 22:22

I've had this problem with my XH but to a lesser extent. I would just treat him like you would a small child: if he comes out of the toilet without having washed his hands you tell him to go back in and wash them. And stand there until he does. If he stinks you tell him that he needs to wash because he smells. Etc.

In summary, I thinks it's time to move on from worrying about being rude.

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katiem1986 · 06/09/2011 13:52

he works in a wether spoons in witham. i personally wouldnt go in there either as i know what hes like. when we were togethr he would ocasionally not wash his hands and id just tell him up front and he did it think he was a little stunned. but now im in a situation where i dont want to appear rude or like im controling him as were not togethr, cos im not i just hate the unhygeinic yuk. just makes me cringe. well hes visiting my son again tomo so bettr get me brain in gear. wish me luck.