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to be creeped out by baby-match making

(16 Posts)
fulllife Mon 05-Sep-11 09:13:42

hi,
was put off already during pregnancy how certain parents make tongue-in-cheek ha-ha comments about their baby boy hooking up with my baby girl, but now shes out and about i find it really disgusting. i call it baby pimping in my mind and it instinctively makes me not like their baby boy (whose really a cherub) and them! AIBU?
i know their just teying to make conversation, but if they are even meaning a granule of this sick joke it really makes me wanna avoid them. lets let babies be babies!

Mightimama Mon 05-Sep-11 09:16:24

Slightly, it could just be their sense of humour. Don't let it spoil the friendship you have (if any) with the parents. Just say to them "let babies be babies" and not to wish their life away, they arent small for long... smile

LeggyBlondeNE Mon 05-Sep-11 09:19:22

Definitely not UR.

Years ago there was a 'child wedding' on Ricky Lake (I was a student, it was compulsory watching!) in which two kids were dressed up in a communion gown and suit and had a little 'wedding' ceremony on TV in which they promised to be friends forever. Looking baffled the whole time...

It was one of the most unpleasant things I ever saw on that show, and seemed to be all about needs of the adults involved to see their child all dressed up and get attention. Said adults got pretty emotional about it, but it made zero sense to me.

When I see people make boy/girlfriend jokes about babies I'm always reminded of that show. Bleurgh.

(I do think my other half makes jokes about our daughter and a friend's son because it's safer for him emotionally than thinking about her bringing home random boys one day. But frankly that's just something he needs to get over because it'll happen whether he likes it or not. Or random girls, obviously!)

dreamingbohemian Mon 05-Sep-11 09:21:12

What exactly are they saying?

If they are saying your babies are going to grow up and have sex with each other, well yes, that's pretty creepy.

If it's more like, awww someday they'll get married, or fall in love, or something goofy like that, then I think you're being a bit of a grump about it. It's just small talk, nothing to get indignant about.

fulllife Mon 05-Sep-11 09:21:38

hmm-youre right i should probably just say smthg...bit embarrassing though to say smthg now since theve been going on about it for months already! its not like a one-off thing, its like their PLAN...

StrandedBear Mon 05-Sep-11 09:24:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaWeasel Mon 05-Sep-11 09:26:28

They are probably joking. DD has a little friend who we used to joke about setting her up with. There is no expectation that this will actually happen! If anything they are very sibling like in their behaviour.

fulllife Mon 05-Sep-11 09:30:00

bohemian -
they are kind of "coaching" their one year old - like lifting him up to see my six week old and saying stuff like "look, this is what ure going for" or "look at youre future wife"...

stranded - maybe i would feel more cool about it if they were a bit older and actually playing together or having some sort of interaction. then it would be more of a natural joke. the way it is its totally out of context and one sided, so, not funny

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 05-Sep-11 09:30:59

YABU..... there's very little intelligent conversation you can have on the subject of babies because they're essentially very boring to anyone other than the parent. So, to avoid long silences, people fall back on inane rubbish. You can either choose to find it offensive and spend the next few years in a permanent state of outrage. Or you can treat it as the silly twaddle it is and change the subject.

Penelope1980 Mon 05-Sep-11 09:34:05

YANBU, I don't like this either. I know someone that used to talk about her son's "girlfriends" like that but stopped after someone else pointed out that she can't assume her son won't go for boys which amused me.

mousesma Mon 05-Sep-11 09:34:54

Oh for goodness sake lighten up! No-one is thinking about babies having sex when they talk about babies becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. It's just a silly thing people say which is not offensive in any way, shape of form.

You'd be horrified about my 5 y/o neice and her "boyfriend" hmm

fulllife Mon 05-Sep-11 09:40:29

i really feel the situation is quite different if the babies are not even playing together...they are not friends. and its kind of not small talk as they are making these comments every time we meet them, even while i was pregnant. hsvent heard them say it to friends of ours who are also expecting girls (there is quite a baby boom going on) either - its just us! sinister...

dreamingbohemian Mon 05-Sep-11 09:40:41

cogito is right, you are in for years of inane babbling and best get a tougher skin about it! They are not 'coaching' their son, he won't possibly remember any of this, it's just the stupid stuff you say when you don't know what else to say.

You can't say something about now if it's been going on for a while (or rather, you can but it will be really awkward). You could try redirecting the idea into something less icky, like 'maybe one day they'll play on the same football team' or something.

itisnearlysummer Mon 05-Sep-11 09:41:07

I wouldn't worry about it.

My mum and her friend used to say this about my best friend and I whilst we were growing up. Cue, lots of eye rolling by our teenage years.

Then he came out.

So it all came to nothing!

It's just (some) parents getting carried away with themselves and being consumed with love for their children. I've never done it though. The Ricki Lake thing is different though, that's just weird.

However, I have heard some mums call their babies 'sexy'. As in "come here sexy" and "ooh don't you look sexy today". Which I do think is a bit hmm

Cheria Mon 05-Sep-11 10:00:07

Wow. For some reason loads of people find this funny. Let them have their fun. It really doesn't hurt anyone. YABU to be creeped out by it. YWNBU to be slightly annoyed about it.

YouDoTheMath Mon 05-Sep-11 10:06:21

I don't find it creepy. I do however find it a little distateful when a male friend of ours talks about his toddler DS "flirting as soon as he sees any females" (young or old).

Err - no, he doesn't.

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