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Tell me straight, am I just an impatient, moody twat?

(23 Posts)
TrainingJedi Mon 05-Sep-11 07:52:26

I don't know if my lack of patience is justified or whether I'm a moody cow - if it's the latter I wish to work on it.

So basically I arrange to take the kids around town with my mum and sister. My sister is 18 yet walks like a 100 year old. I mean she walks so slow that we have old people trying to get passed us. My mum therefore walks at snail pace too so that my sister isn't left walking on her own. I physically cannot walk that slow, neither can my kids who to be fair, did try it but became self concious that they were getting in people's way.

The town centre is a busy place so for me to constantly have to stop, turn around and wait for them to catch up is really tiring. Apart from this, my mum tries to keep conversations going when there is a huge gap growing between us!! like she'll shout "Hey Jedi, have you seen that new shop that's opened?" I therefore have to stop, turn around and reply. It's so frustrating! Especially when it causes people to walk into me.

Another thing is this conversation that occurs everytime:

mum - "hey look at that girl's shoes!"
me - "oh yes, havn't seen shoes with lights in for a while"
mum - "there look!"
me - "yes, they're cute"
mum - "that girl there look, can you see her?"
me - "yes."
mum - "there she goes look, look at her shoes!"

I. SAW. THEM.

So like I say, I'm just wondering if the problem IS me because if it is, I don't WANT to be a narky cow all the time and am willing to work on my patience levels!

allhailtheaubergine Mon 05-Sep-11 07:56:58

Yes, you need to work on your patience levels. Not because yabu to feel irritated, but because you can't change other peoplle, only your reaction to their behaviour. If it is really getting you stressed you need to find a way to not let it bother you. Or avoid situations like these altogether. Being narky is a crap solution for everyone.

EricNorthmansMistress Mon 05-Sep-11 07:57:37

They sound annoying, but then to be fair everyone can be annoying and it's up to us not to get narked by them all the time.

cjbartlett Mon 05-Sep-11 08:00:16

Dont go shopping with them
Invite them round for a cuppa afterwards or meet in the park

Sounds a bit like a colleague of mine
Everything she says now intensely irritates me
I haven't a clue how to stop feeling like it

TrainingJedi Mon 05-Sep-11 08:00:18

I know, I kind of feel like as soon as I'm in their company my whole mood changes and I become snappy and irritable. My mum has picked up on it because it's getting to be everytime we're together.

I guess it makes it worse when I go out with my ex mother in law and spend the day laughing, joking and relaxed and then go out with my own mother the day after and suddenly morph into a fed up, stressed out and grumpy witch.

gillybean2 Mon 05-Sep-11 08:17:58

My ds walks at high speed. He leaves me way behind. I have to tell him to slow down. His dad and grandpa were the same and would tear off at speed ahead of everyone else.
So I have the same problem as you, just in reverse.

Why on earth would you drag your dc round town with your mum and a snail dsis? I can't think of anything worse, bad enough trying to get ds into town for any kind of shopping.
Does your dsis actually want to be there or is she making it purposely difficuly hoping she won't be -dragged along-- asked next time?

If you agreed to meet in town presumably you had somewhere in mind to go?
If so then perhaps next time agree to meet them wherever it is you are going.
Or suggest that you'll go on ahead and meet them at whatever shop/cafe you were heading for and leave them to catch you up while you browse/buy/find seats.

Callisto Mon 05-Sep-11 08:21:45

I actually couldn't be with people who did this. Slow walkers are a pita and people who don't listen when you answer are also a pita.

However, I think yabu to take your children shopping unless you are buying something specifically for them. The answer is not to go shopping with your mum and sister ever again.

Smellslikecatpee Mon 05-Sep-11 08:26:09

Is there a reason why your sister is so slow?
I admit I'm not the fastest walker but have back problems which make walking for long periods of time difficult.

Unless she has a reason nope not unreasonable.

Ps if it is just your sister why not plan a day out with just your Mum.

nickschick Mon 05-Sep-11 08:27:23

is this you?

missmogwi Mon 05-Sep-11 08:33:44

If you are then so am I. That would do my head in too. Best way around it is don't go shopping with them!
My mum also disappears in shops into some sort of time/space hole then reappears where I first looked.
I know I'm impatient and I embrace it
grin

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Mon 05-Sep-11 09:22:10

I find myself feeling irritable when I am with my dad. I manage to hide it I think but it's exhausting. He doesn't listen to me, talks over me and doesn't even notice, is awkward about where we eat (will only eat ham sandwiches), breaks everything we touch and gets stressed, anxious and impatient about everything. As a child waiting for buses (no cars in my family then) he would be pacing up and down at the bus stop saying "come on" through gritted teeth. Once we got to where we were going he would be anxious about getting something to eat, would eat (my mum would order the food as that would get him in a flap) and 10 mins later would get itchy feet and want to go home.

It made me anxious every time we went out and so I have grown into an adult with anxiety problems. It's exhausting. I'd love to be able to include him in family life more but it's just such hard work with his faffing about nothing.

You have my sympathy.

dreamingbohemian Mon 05-Sep-11 09:27:56

Whose I have a similar thing with my stepdad. I think what makes it even more irritating is that he knows he's annoying but has an attitude of 'that's the way I am and I can't change', which I find pretty anti-social. I mean, I would love to just go around and not have to put any effort into social interactions and still have everyone be nice to me!

OP you are so right to be annoyed and yes, I think the only thing you can do is try to avoid these situations in future.

Fatshionista Mon 05-Sep-11 09:30:57

I have a similar problem with my sister. She's 42 but, to be honest, hasn't sped up in the time I've known her. I constantly have to stop, talk, walk, stop, turn around, wait, slow down, stop etc. It's very annoying.

I don't think you are being unreasonable to have been annoyed but I think working on your patience levels will be a good thing. How often do you have to do this with them? If it's once in a blue moon then you can handle it, if it's four times a week cut it down if you can.

YouDoTheMath Mon 05-Sep-11 11:42:07

They sound nice - but this is the reason I don't go shopping with other people!

SnapesMistress Mon 05-Sep-11 11:55:53

Is there no way dsis can go faster? Is she disabled in some way?

diddl Mon 05-Sep-11 12:02:06

Well grab her by the arm & pull her along!grin

I loathe, loathe, loathe shopping.

My sister loves it-wants to look at everything/try everything on, wants me look at everything/try everything on.

Wants me to spend money on myself for the sake of it.

I DON`T WANT TO.

OP-don´t go!

(Did I mention that I loathe shopping?)

TrainingJedi Mon 05-Sep-11 12:28:17

I don't like shopping either! the only reason we went was to take DS around the town museums which he never gets bored of year after year

There is nothing wrong with Dsis other than her being overweight. She's a very lazy person and puts no effort into anything (my mum agrees with me on this), therefore it takes us forever to get anywhere.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Mon 05-Sep-11 12:49:14

Does her weight physically slow her down, or is she not that overweight?

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Mon 05-Sep-11 12:49:40

Oh and try shouting "move your fucking arse you lazy bitch!"

diddl Mon 05-Sep-11 13:00:40

So, you don´t really like your sister?

So-you do museums & leave your mum & sis to shop?

I love my sister, don´t see her that often so I put up with a morning of shopping as she´s great company.

mummyandpig Mon 05-Sep-11 13:43:09

grin that made me laugh. Reminds me of the joys of shopping with my mum and gran.

DontGoCurly Mon 05-Sep-11 13:50:33

This is the reason I don't go shopping with anyone else. I'm a quick person. I do everything fast. I like it. I can't bear dilly-dallying around!

I would stop going shopping with them, they sound a nightmare!

scrambedeggs Mon 05-Sep-11 15:04:23

i cant bear people who walk too fast, and the poor kids are practically jogging along to keep up

I just go at my own pace and if they disappear into the far distance, hey ho

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