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to want to discourage ds1 from joining army cadets.

(72 Posts)
VoldemortsNipple Sun 04-Sep-11 14:54:59

He used to do scouts, which he loved. I know he will love cadets and will get loads out of it. But I just feel its the first early step to join the army and it makes my stomach twist.

I know joining cadets doesn't mean you have to join the army, but DS1 quite likes the idea and if they didn't have to go to war, it would be perfect for him. But I'm his mum and I don't want him to. I think the instructors will brainwash him.

Also I think the cadets could make him a target for bullies. The training centre isn't in the safest area.

AIBU to have these thorghts over a kids club? He's 12 by the way.

GypsyMoth Sun 04-Sep-11 14:55:46


GeneralCustardsHardHat Sun 04-Sep-11 14:56:41

YABU it's no different to scouts

deemented Sun 04-Sep-11 14:58:27

I'm going against the grain and saying YANBU.

I think my DS1 will want to join the army and i feel sick at the thought.

EdithWeston Sun 04-Sep-11 14:59:17


You don't seem to have had accurate information about the cadets, and I think it might be better if you found out the facts about what it does, rather than try to dissuade a teenager from a chosen activity based on prejudice.

Metal Sun 04-Sep-11 14:59:58

I was in army cadets for a while, and had some great fun (until 2 of the instructors left and were replaced by different people).

The camps especially were a great experience; and there are a ton of activities and skills you can learn from being involved in this.

This was run by the school though, if that makes a difference. Most of the people who joined had no intention of joining the forces.

I imagine it can be a good CV booster.

pigletmania Sun 04-Sep-11 15:00:35

YABU I jointed the Air Cadets and it was fab, we learned about airmanship, survival techniques and discipline. Not once were we brainwashed into joining the RAF, though I would have loved to have been a pilot but have health conditions that would not allow me to. I ended up doing something completely different.

MmmmmCake Sun 04-Sep-11 15:01:15

kids get an enormous amount out of cadets - they can even do a college course to give them qualifications

i would never ever try and discourage my sons from any career choices they make - even if I hate the idea, i will back them 100%.

Metal Sun 04-Sep-11 15:03:00

I'd also add that doing various activities through army cadets can be ALOT cheaper than anywhere else offering it would cost.

Takitezee Sun 04-Sep-11 15:06:28

YANBU to want to but YABU if you actually do it. DS is in the cadets and talks about joining the army one day, it frightens the life out of me.

There is a military history on Mr T's side and all of our children have expressed an interest at some point. Mr T encourages it as he had such a great experience even with Northern Ireland and the Gulf War. I keep my fears to myself as there is a good chance at least one of our children with join the forces and I don't want them feeling any guilt or reluctance because of me.

EverSoLagom Sun 04-Sep-11 15:17:52

YABU. I've been involved with air cadets for twelve years - there is no ulterior "recruitment" agenda. Only a very tiny majority of cadets go on to join the forces. Your son will have an amazing time and gain skills, confidence, and qualifications which will put him in good stead for whatever job he fancies.

VoldemortsNipple Sun 04-Sep-11 15:18:48

Thanks for the replies everybody. I wouldn't actually discourage him and Yes I am forming my opinions on my knee jerk reaction. I've looked at the web site and it does look fab. But dispite all this, it is run by the army in the hope of getting kids looking at the army as a career.

F1lthym1ndedvixen Sun 04-Sep-11 15:23:31

I am a pacifist. Myt ds was desperate to join the air cadets.
I was against it for all the reasons you are.

I kept schtum, (knowing how stubborn he is) he went, he HATED it, mainlky because the VERY first thing anyone said to him was ''You'll have to get that hair cut, young man...''

I now wish he had continued, as my friend's son is doing so much cool stuff with them, and fabulous camping trips etc. at really affordable prices £65 for a week's holiday!!

lifechanger Sun 04-Sep-11 15:25:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Milngavie Sun 04-Sep-11 15:28:15

My DH is an army cadet instructor and I can assure you your ds will not be 'brainwashed' or encouraged to join the Army. Our DS1 is a cadet and loves it but neither he or any of the other cadets wish to join the forces. In the eight years DH has been an instructor only one boy has gone into the army but he joined the cadets as this was his ambition, he didn't join the army because of the cadets iyswim? If you have any questions just ask and I'll put them to DH.

SouthernFriedTofu Sun 04-Sep-11 15:28:15

I was going to sat YANBU, but it seems like they don't push an agenda from what the posters say. I think as a parent in general you can encourage discourage behavoiur that could endanger your child including joining the military because at the end of the day when they're old enough they will do as they want anyway.

IN the states our school military clubs definitly had an agenda

worraliberty Sun 04-Sep-11 15:28:45

The Army normally visit schools and give the kids a career talk around years 10 and 11 anyway.

I know a lot of pupils (including my son) who were very inspired by this career choice...infact my friend's daughter is now in her second year in the Army.

lifechanger Sun 04-Sep-11 15:29:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania Sun 04-Sep-11 15:29:34

Thats a good phrase at the bottom lifechanger At the end of the day your son does not have to go into the Army if he does not want to, its up to him to sign on the dotted line, nobody can do that for him. If he feels there is too much pressure to join the Army he can quit it and do another cadet corps like Air or Sea. There was no such recruitment agenda for the Air Cadets, it was so cool though, all the fun things we did like flying planes, and survival skills.

Takitezee Sun 04-Sep-11 15:32:13

That's a lovely post lifechanger.

Mr T was just at the end of his forces career when we got together but it gave him such a good grounding to become a good husband. He is organised, methodical, not afraid of hard work, can cook, sew and goodness knows what else. He did of course also spend a lot of time getting drunk and having a good time but he was young when he joined.

pigletmania Sun 04-Sep-11 15:34:54

Goodness Takit dh would have benefited going to the Army cadets. Do they do a bootcamp for undomesticated dh/dp smile

lifechanger Sun 04-Sep-11 15:41:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

somewherewest Sun 04-Sep-11 15:49:51

I was in the Irish army cadets for a while in my teens (1990s) and quite enjoyed it. I still quite like telling people that I can disassemble and reassemble a semi-automatic rifle in the dark in less than ten minutes grin. I can't imagine how the instructors would manage to "brainwash" anyone in one evening per week or whatever. Very few of us went into the army and the one or two who did were already considering it as a career and had joined the cadets for that reason.

Cocoflower Sun 04-Sep-11 15:50:21

Takitezee wow my DH is exactly the same as yours! I think it helps massivley with responsibiltiy and self-discipline. He later joined as a adult instructor so gave him great leadership skills for his CV

Only difference is DH did not do drinking or ever touch drugs as he said the high from training exercises was enough. He now has a life long passion for flying (he was air cadets) so I think it only did him good.

GnomeDePlume Sun 04-Sep-11 16:05:07

YWBVU to discourage your DS.

My DS wants to join air cadets and currently wants to join the army ASAP. My job as a parent is to help him to get ready for whatever he wants to do not what I want him to do.

I figure that cadets of any sort will give him an insight into what a disciplined life would be like. If that is what he wants to go for then I will support him all the way.

Why do you think that where the centre is will make him a target for bullies? IME bullies go for the soft targets not the ones in heavy boots!

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