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I think that as long as men have food, sleep and time to do the stuff they like, all is well in the world...

(29 Posts)
KittyFane Sat 03-Sep-11 12:55:15

AIBU to make sure DH has all of these things before me (even when I am knackered and haven't been out for ages).. Just to stop him from being a grumpy sod keep him happy?

cjbartlett Sat 03-Sep-11 12:58:10

Yes it's true
But a frazzled resentful wife is not a happy wife and if you're miserable then really he should be miserable

Takitezee Sat 03-Sep-11 13:00:13

It depends, if you are doing these things to make him happy then YANBU but if you are doing them to stop him being arsey then YABU.

GypsyMoth Sat 03-Sep-11 13:01:44

Are you bring serious????

Jesus it's not the bloody 1950's anymore!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 03-Sep-11 13:05:36


TrillianAstra Sat 03-Sep-11 13:07:08

as long as men have food, sleep and time to do the stuff they like, all is well in the world...

Are men different to women in that respect?

If you have to sacrifice your happiness to stop your DH from being a grumpy sod then you are essentially stopping a toddler from having a tantrum by giving them whatever they want? When it's children they call it "rod for your own back". With adults it's called "stop pandering to the selfish man and grow a backbone". You should each have equal time to do the stuff you like, and if things are fair neither of you should sulk or strop about it.

Pan Sat 03-Sep-11 13:07:59

it'd be a fine idea to have titled it "as long as dh has food..etc".

ChippingIn Sat 03-Sep-11 13:08:00


SardineQueen Sat 03-Sep-11 13:08:50

"food, sleep and time to do the stuff they like "

Isn't this what everybody wants?

Of course YABU to always put him before yourself.

Is this a joke?

Pan Sat 03-Sep-11 13:10:53

isn't Kitty just being bitterly sarcastic?

KittyFane Sat 03-Sep-11 13:11:43

ilovetiffany ...yes very serious wink <goes back to polishing the sideboard>

I know loads of women who put their needs before their DH/ DP.
Not good IMO

Takitezze- agree with that!

southmum Sat 03-Sep-11 13:13:20


Oh you mean like........

what? confused

The only thing DP has before me is an orgasm, and thats only because I bloody well let him.

KittyFane Sat 03-Sep-11 13:14:05

Pan.. I am feeling very bitter today! Can you tell?!
<puts another load in washing machine, wonders if DH is enjoying the sandwiches I made for him at the football>...

Thumbwitch Sat 03-Sep-11 13:14:41

I have a friend like you. She put her "D"H first all the time, did everything for him the ungrateful bastard and wore herself out. Then she had their child (her 3rd, his 1st) and the baby was a poor feeder and a poor sleeper. Friend = frazzled trying to keep "her man" the way she used to AND look after a new slightly difficult baby AND keep on top of the other 2 DC and everything else. So, when the new baby was nearly 4mo, what does this "man" do? Tells he he can't cope with her attitude and mood any more, throws his toys out the pram and walks out on her.

Charming. She was broken - loves him so much. A few days later, he comes back with a list of demands - she has to change, she can't ask him to do anything, she can't ask him where he's going or stop him from doing anything he wants to.
Around a month later, he decides she isn't living up to her end (still problems with new baby and nothing else has changed) so he fucks off again.

This time she is less broken. But she goes to the doc, gets ADs to help with her own feelings and gets stronger. So when he decides to come crawling back (he did) she said "whatever". And she no longer does as much for him, she and her DC come first. He is now at the bottom of the priority list and his choice is "put up with it or fuck off".

Just telling you this so you can see what kind of ungrateful shit some men can turn into when you give them that "sense of entitlement".

Pan Sat 03-Sep-11 13:19:21

There's a fabulous sketech on Sesame Street, with Big Bird, where they talk about c-c-c-c-communication and expectations.

KittyFane Sat 03-Sep-11 13:22:14

Is there a link Pan?!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sat 03-Sep-11 13:23:10

Did you spit on, add pee to, or mix the ingredients for dh's football repast on the floor before it was cleaned? If so, you should enjoy them. grin

KittyFane Sat 03-Sep-11 13:27:08

Pan - Found it!! grin

I'm in a strange mood today..and I am the least helpful compliant DW a man could ever wish for usually.

Pan Sat 03-Sep-11 13:27:39

not to Big Bird but this one has some useful analogies. Yes Sesame Street IS my life coach.grin

Pan Sat 03-Sep-11 13:28:15

show me where! NOW!

solidgoldbrass Sat 03-Sep-11 13:29:04

Well we'd all like enough food, enough sleep, and enough time to do what we want. But being a man doesn't mean you get to have this at the expense of your partner's leisure time just because she is a woman and therefore lesser than you.

KittyFane Sat 03-Sep-11 13:30:17

Izzy.. No, I lovingly made them.. What ARE you suggesting?? wink

He had a lie in, I laid his clothes out, got his packed lunch ready, made him a bacon sandwich..
As I say, all is well in the world. I'm starting to think that this is the way forward.

KittyFane Sat 03-Sep-11 13:31:40

Pan, your link is the one I found too... Will keep looking for other!

Pan Sat 03-Sep-11 13:33:00

i don't think it's saved at all. but it's still excellent to check over some Ernie and Burt and all of my 'other family'.

Tenacity Sat 03-Sep-11 13:43:26

OP I so hope you are being sarcastic...

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