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Another gift giving AIBU...

(26 Posts)
smoggii Fri 02-Sep-11 22:39:00

We buy (xmas and birthday) for cousin's DD, she has just turned 7. I emailed my cousin to ask what DD was into at the mo so I could get something she would like. I do this with all the kids I buy for, it helps me get something in the right area that will go down well but allows me to shop around, as we are on a (v tight) budget, and buy some bargains while they are still young enough not to care.

Last year (when age 6) 'she' wanted a family game for the Wii, bit more than we usually spend but as she'd asked, that's what we got.

This year 'she' wants money...she's 7. I asked what she was into, so my cousin didn't actually answer the question.

AIBU to think that it is my cousin who wants her to have money and at 7 she wont really care either way?

Also do I have to give £25 as that is what we spent on the game last year. I don't think we can afford that.

AgentZigzag Fri 02-Sep-11 22:45:38

That's the thing about asking what they want, you kind of have to go along with the answer grin

She might be saving up for something big?

I would give what you normally do, £10-15 would be how much I normally shell out.

caughtinanet Fri 02-Sep-11 22:47:52

You are very generous to be buying anything for a cousin's child unless you are very close to your cousin.

£10 would be my suggestion, ime £25 for a 7yo is just too much.

MrsHairyWhitemouse Fri 02-Sep-11 22:49:08

Give what you normally spend - a tenner?

The fact that you put thought into it and usually manage to find a bargain, means she's going to get less of a 'good deal' from you. Don't spend what you haven't got.

ChippingIn Fri 02-Sep-11 22:50:41

Why not ring your cousins DD and just talk to her. You don't have to ask what she wants for christmas, just chat with her.

MadamDeathstare Fri 02-Sep-11 22:50:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slavetofilofax Fri 02-Sep-11 22:52:33

I'd give a tenner. That's plenty for a 7yo. I'd bet the 7yo doesn't really want money though and would prefer something to open.

But my 11yo is more than happy with a birthday tenner, that really is enough if you decide to give money.

smoggii Fri 02-Sep-11 22:58:43

It really is my own fault for asking what she was into but I genuinely wasn't expecting her to say money, I was expecting 'she loves disney princessess or high school musical'.

caughtinanet we were very close when her DD was small, we have drifted and no longer live near each other but I don't like to just stop buying and we always see each other for an hour on special occasions.

I too thought 7 yr olds preferred to open presents but the times they are a changing x

kalo12 Fri 02-Sep-11 23:01:30

i would give her a tenner too.

twooter Fri 02-Sep-11 23:11:53

My 8yo loves getting money

Talker2010 Fri 02-Sep-11 23:11:58

Call back and ask what the money is towards that way you could give a suitable gift card/voucher ... marginally more exciting than cash for a 7 year old

£10 is plenty

HeadfirstForHalos Sat 03-Sep-11 02:31:47

DD1 is 9 next week, and the same as the last two years she is desperately hoping to get money rather than presents so she can have a mini spending spree. She has never really liked any specific type of present, I could never have told a relative the type of thing she liked. Some things just grab her for no particular reason.

HeadfirstForHalos Sat 03-Sep-11 02:32:24

Oh and a 10 pound note is FANTASTIC at that age, it's more than enough smile

iscream Sat 03-Sep-11 03:00:20

You do not have to give the value of what you have spent in the past. Since I do not know prices in the UK, can't really say.
I would probably try and find a present anyways, if you think it is the mom's idea about money. This sort of happened to me, I asked, they "didn't know, and suggested money". Since the parents are not very responsible, I did not want to give money, sadly the bf would have no qualms of "borrowing" it and not replace it.
Some classic childrens dvd's, and a special fleecy blanket to cuddle in and watch it would be nice.

IloveJudgeJudy Sat 03-Sep-11 12:43:24

Why don't you buy her some special pens and paper. Ime little girls always like that.

HappyMummyOfOne Sat 03-Sep-11 14:51:31

I'd ask her yourself what she would like. I'm not keen on giving money at the best of times, lease of all to a child. If she is saving for something large, then i'd get her a voucher for the store needed - at least that way you know the money will get spent on the child and not disappear into the household pot.

Balsam Sat 03-Sep-11 14:55:58

Get her a gift voucher for ELC or Disney Store or Toys R Us or anywhere else that only sells kids' stuff.

ImperialBlether Sat 03-Sep-11 14:58:54

I'd get her a voucher for Claire's Accessories or somewhere similar. If you give money, you might find she doesn't actually get it.

Just out of interest, does your cousin buy you or your children a gift when it's your birthdays?

SquishyCinnamonSwirls Sat 03-Sep-11 14:58:54

Crafting stuff always go down well with dd (aged 8), or stationery - novelty rubbers in particular.
A month's subscription to moshi monsters would be good as well.

I dislike giving money too as it just seems so uninspired, but I agree with other posters that say a tenner is plenty.

Jodianna Sat 03-Sep-11 15:33:10

Book tokens for the under thirteens, Boots tokens for the over thirteens, unless book tokens are requested. That way, they get the dosh, and get to choose what they want.

takethisonehereforastart Sat 03-Sep-11 17:39:57

Agree with everyone, give her vouchers for somewhere (ideally a book token in our house) and £10 is plenty for a 7 year old. I know that now you can get some vouchers that a group of shops will accept, rather than just one particular shop, and some shopping centres and retail parks do them for the stores they have on site.

She can still have her shopping trip, if that's what she wants, but from your POV a voucher is still something you have bought and sent to her and so is a little more personal.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles Sat 03-Sep-11 17:46:33

yy to vouchers for somewhere like Waterstones or Amazon. If it is to be cash I wouldn't give more than £10 to a 7yo.

Greenshadow Sat 03-Sep-11 17:48:12

Amazon vouchers are good for older children (my teenage DSs would not be impressed by Boots vouchers), although they do look a bit boring to actually hand over.

SouthernFriedTofu Sat 03-Sep-11 18:06:24

I think if you ask what a 7 year old is in to, money should not be the response! hmm maybe a 10 pound voucher?

smoggii Sat 03-Sep-11 20:15:15

imperialblether she is a bit hit and miss on gifts but i don't mind, i do enjoy gift giving, i'm a shopaholic (love bargain hunting) so maybe i'm just a bit gutted that the fun has been removed grin

TBH my cousin is a bit on the broke side at the mo and i do worry about the money getting 'accidentally' used and not replaced, but, if it helps the family then it is still a gift to the child in a roundabout way!

I like the amazon/multistore voucher idea. They seem to sell everything on amazon these days.

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