To expect my belongings to come back the same way they left..(31 Posts)
Disclaimer: Prepare for huge rant about in laws i know for a fact it has as the lid is still there, i spent ages wrapping it all up
Back in feb myself and dp bought a house to renovate, we put all our things mostly into storage, and moved in with my brother, as it was getting too expensive to stay in storage (it was only meant to be 8 weeks, were still not back yet!!) His mum offered to have our stuff, she was still upset we hadnt gone to live with her and dp's dad, were we are now is closer to work, we have more freedom and if im being honest id of killed her by now for interfering with everything.
Going to visit them now ive started to take a few items back to the house with me gradually, the first this was my sewing table i noticed 5 weird holes in it, i was really upset had no idea how they got there, neither did they apparently, fast forward i go to pick up a coffee table, more holes had somehow appeared, again upset but dp says not to cause a fuss its only a coffee table.
The latest is i went on Wednesday to pick up some shelving units, his mum casually mentioned to e that there was still lots of stuff in my chest of drawers, i was aware of this but thought shes obviously been nosing to also know this, inside the top drawer is a set off my nans dressing table, just a few glass jars, brush ans mirror, i dont suppose theyre valuable but they are of sentimental value to me, 1 of the jars is missing, when i asked if she knew where it was she did the same blank face, oh are you accusing me look, i just asked politely if she could have a look round and see if its been taken out i spent ages wrapping it all up so i know it was all there as the lid is still there just no jar. I then go to look for my shelving, yep you guessed it more holes appeared, by now im fuming so when i see one of my lamps was smashed and thrown into the corner i just wanted to get everything out there and then.
The last straw was when she asked me to go up to the spare room and see if i could smell anything (this is where our 3 month old couch is being kept) i asked what i'm meant to be smelling, she said cat wee, as the cat has been sleeping on my couch and she thinks it may have peed on it.... was i wrong in wanting to throw her down the stairs!!
she is well known for having no consideration for looking after things, even her own family dont lend her anything anymore, they make a joke out of it, i just didnt realise it was so bad, i personally think his sister has taken the glass jar to use as an ashtray as shes staying in the same room and has often commented on my furniture saying how lovely it was, just didnt think she was the type to go through all my stuff, sorry its so long but im fuming they can treat my personal stuff this way, aibu to want to say something and just take everything home with me now!
If she was well known for not looking after things, why on earth did you and your DP leave it there?
Its really only been shoes or a book shes ruined, i didn't for 1 minute think shed let a cat sleep on our brand new couch and possibly piss all over it, the cat hasn't by the way but the fact she even asked me the question to go and smell was enough, my DP thinks i'm making a big deal over nothing, but just cos its his family doesnt mean they can treat our stuff this way, its his belongings too and he doesnt even seem remotely upset that we will probably have to replace everything that's been damaged.
No they're perfect round little holes like theyve been drilled into, I'm a dressmaker so these tables were really expensive, not once have they offered an explanation or helped me to replace them, they were only 6 months old when they went to her house ans are now ruined as the fabric would just tear on them. I've now got to find £300 to replace them. I think its this actually that has got to me the most.
I'd collect it now so it didn't get any worse.
How much did they charge you for storing all the stuff. You might want to consider asking for a partial refund if some of your things were damaged. Not a full refund though as it's mostly still there and only a few bits are damaged.
What do you think she has been doing to make the holes? Could you fill and sand the holes?
She sounds really odd.
I agree with breathe, she sounds really, really odd. The thing about the cat pee almost sounds like a deliberate, passive-aggressive wind up. Are you sure she wasn't angry she'd been lumbered with the stuff for what was meant to be 8 weeks and turned into much longer?
If things had just got broken, I'd tend to say, well, that's the risk you take not paying for storage and maybe you shouldn't have left them with someone who wasn't very careful. But the odd little holes and the comment about cat pee takes it to another level ... I'd be really bemused/curious to work out what she was thinking if I were you.
If they have been drilling holes in your belongings they are loopy. Really odd!
If they are drilling holes you can fill them in with a small divot thingy, you get fri. B and q for a few p's. Top up with filler sand the thing down and re vanish, you will still be able to use it, just a little effort to make it smooth again, but defo not £300, or take it to a woodworker/carpeter and they do it for about £60.
It must be woodworm, I can't imagine anyone carefully drilling little holes in someones stuff. Agree with others that you shouldn't have to replace your table, it can be fixed.
Yanbu she sounds a nightmare.
WRT people advising paying for storage, its a disgusting price, our psl was sold out from under us and we had 24hrs to leave our only option was safe store, £90 PER WEEK!!!! And they're utter bastards too, and the 'rooms' have a gap all around the top and some utter knobber knocked something from theirs into ours and obliterated a tv and a box of photoframes... "Sorry were not covered for that" GRRR ill shut up and bow out now.
The lamp and sofa and jar is very annoying but in fairness you did know what you were letting yourself in for if she has a reputation for being bad with other people's things
YABU about the holes though. There is no way someone is going to drill holes in furniture just to be spiteful and there's no way of making multiple neat holes in wooden furniture through carelessness so it must be woodworm in which case your mum is going to be very pissed off with you as she will have to have her house treated
Wordworm spreads which is why all your wooden items have been affected but your mum's stuff and even the timbers in her house can be attacked by it too so she'll need to get it checked out and treated.
Hi, its definitely not woodworm, i looked at the picture and theyre much bigger so they do actually look as if someone has drilled into them, i dont think she herself would do this but dp's dad who is always knocking up stuff in the back garden, could possibly have used it to lean on and i seriously wouldnt put this past him! We already have storage and are paying stupid money for that at the moment so we couldnt afford to move up to a bigger space, she offered over and over to let us keep our things in her house, I am wondering though as a previous poster mentioned she's almost trying to get her own back in a passive aggressive way for us not choosing to stay with her while the work was being done, This has been a bone of contention for her, when we do go round she always tries to make us stay longer than we wanted really, both my dp's parents are big drinkers, so she will sit they're drinking, doesn't matter what time it is, and its when shes at her worst she makes these little mistakes.
As her last son moved out in June she has got increasingly worse, shes always has done silly things that people laugh over,but it just hurts cos i trusted them both with my stuff and they just dont care, the lamp i could of expected, but everything else is i feel is just malicious. Especially going rooting through the boxes and drawers and taking items out to use them.
YANBU to be upset but it's your own fault for placing your things there. You were looking for free storage & knew that these people didn't look after things. If you know they've maliciously damaged your property... sue them for compensation. If you can't prove it or don't want to sue them, stop whingeing, put it down to experience and make damn sure you never leave anything you value with them again.
If its that many holes in that many different furniture, it could be woodworm. The holes can be much bigger than the ones on that link. I can see your fil using one or two pieces but not that many.
I would also make sure its not woodworm before putting any of that furniture into your home because you don't want your place infested either after just renovating.
I am always leery about storing furniture with people with pets and kids. There could be a writing, peeing, scratching, hair, gnawing, you never know. No matter how careful they are, there always tend to be some accident.
have you asked them directly about the holes? I would. Don't worry about offending them, they have trashed your stuff.
I'd also write out a list to DH with costings for replacing it, hand it to him and ask him how he thinks you are going to afford to replace it all. Tell him you expect him to at least tell his parents you are both upset and disappointed.
To expect my belongings to come back the same way they left
No, yanbu to expect that.
Probably would be best if you do remove it to your brothers home, if he has room for it.
When i saw the first table with the holes on i confronted them immediately, they were both at the doorway helping us get to the furniture and seemed to disappear sharpish downstairs and didn't say much, in fact went unusually quiet only his mum asked had they not been there when it was brought here, it just seemed to suspicious to me. We have argued about this fact too. Theyre making me mad just thinking about it, i want to go today and get my stuff, but dp says were still doing work in the house, dont have the room etc. We do i think hes just afraid of offending them (34 yrs old and is still afraid of his mum and dad being a bit upset with him). Any normal sane person would do their best to look after something someone had given them, i know i certainly would and wouldn't try to damage everything that didn't belong to me!
How bizarre. You honestly believe that your ILs are drilling small holes in various bits of your furniture?
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