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to ask X to pay for DD's school shoes?

(19 Posts)
OnlyWantsOne Fri 02-Sep-11 19:27:22

X doesnt pay any thing towards DD1 (except £10 since Feb to pay for my fuell to drop her at his a couple of weeks ago)

AIBU to ask him to contribute towards the £36 school shoes ive just bought her, (I have a receipt I could show him)

Well, I dont think IABU, but more, need advice, how to ask him - because he may just say no to spite me, or win his little petty power games he plays.

belledechocchipcookie Fri 02-Sep-11 19:29:02

Have you contacted the CSA?

OnlyWantsOne Fri 02-Sep-11 19:30:27

yes smile

since may 2008!!

belledechocchipcookie Fri 02-Sep-11 19:33:00

Jesus! I'd ask him, see anything he hands over as a bonus though.

pinkytheshrinky Fri 02-Sep-11 19:33:21

What is the point? he has no intention of paying

Do not give him the satisfaction of asking for it

Collision Fri 02-Sep-11 19:34:17

Deffo ask him.

And give him the receipts for the uniform and clothes you buy her regularly and the food she eats!

spookshowangellovesit Fri 02-Sep-11 19:34:39

of course you are not being ur to ask, doesnt mean he will though. he should prob pay it all. no advice on how to get him to i'm afraid except through csa. have you tried that?

spookshowangellovesit Fri 02-Sep-11 19:37:34

you have since 2008....? my friend had this problem. took years but now the dad has to pay maintenance regularly, so keep plugging.

OnlyWantsOne Fri 02-Sep-11 19:41:28

I phone them regularly, he moves jobs, works cash in hand etc - generally avoids paying up

he knows that I wont let DD go without, so he made the choice to absolve himself financially from her - he still comments though, if her clothes look small etc!!!!

he gets to do the fun stuff, that i cant aford to do, as here i am buying school uniform, making packed lunches etc etc

pinkytheshrinky Fri 02-Sep-11 19:44:53

I have been waiting 5.5 years for maintenance - I have had 6 months worth in that time and he has websites and all set up with his name and address - the whole thing (if you will forgive the phrase) is like pissing in the wind. Whilst it is aggravating that he has cash to do fun things, being able to manage without his help should give you a lot of satisfaction and when your dd is a grown up, she will understand.

ShellyBoobs Fri 02-Sep-11 19:55:21

YA Definitely NBU!

I just don't understand how anyone could treat their own child like that; how can anyone think it's reasonable to make no contribution to their DC's up-keep?

Awful man.

AbiAbi Fri 02-Sep-11 20:11:13


My XP has paid for DDs school shoes, also £36 (were they the bow ones from Clarks with the Daisy in the heels? smile ) on top of his monthly maintenance

missmogwi Fri 02-Sep-11 20:14:11

YANBU of course he should be paying for his child in the first place. I too have had no maintenance from my ex for years for various bullshit reasons.
He used to pass comment on stuff too, although a few choice words stopped that. A few weeks ago I grew a pair and told him as he didn't contribute on a regular basis I expected him to get the school shoes. To my amazement he did, fancy clarkes ones too.(then waited for a thankyou, he's still waiting)
The moral of the tale OP, is that you never know until you try.

HollyGoHeavily Fri 02-Sep-11 20:15:56

Why have you decided that school shoes are the thing to ask him for??? I find this mind-boggling - why not rent, food, heat???

Of course he should pay for the shoes but he should be paying for a damn site more and i'd be making that point frequently and loudly, it's about his responsibility towards his child not about shoes....

Marne Fri 02-Sep-11 20:19:27

Tell him to cough up, dh has just payed for all of DSD's school uniform for her first year at high school, we struggled to find the money but at the end of the day its his daughter so he should pay.

OnlyWantsOne Fri 02-Sep-11 20:32:09

well ive decided not to text and ask, but ask him to his face tomorrow when i drop DD off. Hopefully his cheating other woman girl friend is with him, and he'll be too embarassed to say no

MumblingRagDoll Fri 02-Sep-11 20:37:33

Bloody good idea! The skiving shit. Sorry...he's your DDs Dad but how can he live with himself!?

MumblingRagDoll Fri 02-Sep-11 20:39:00

Holly it sounds like the shoe that broke the camels back to me...maybe the OP just snapped thinking of the help she should have.

Collision Sun 04-Sep-11 23:23:55


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