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"I'm not going to turn it down" AIBU to think actually - you bloody should turn it down

(14 Posts)
PassTheGlass Fri 02-Sep-11 19:14:50

DPs dad is constantly shelling out money to DP and buying him things behind his wife's back. He bought him a car which DP gladly accepted, is actually saving up for DP a new car which DP is gladly accepting, paid out £500 for a laptop for DP which he gladly took, bought him an expensive tool kit which he took easily, paid a load of money towards DP's holiday which he gladly took and today bought DP a brand new TV as DP's "wasn't full HD".

I know full well DP "hints" at needing this stuff when his dad is around and the way he just grins and takes it like a bloody school boy irritates me. DP is working full time, his dad is retired. It's stupid.

Today he told me "oh dad has bought me a new HD tv! I wasn't going to turn it down!" AIBU to think actually he shouldn't be relishing in his dad shelling out money behind his mum's back on expensive luxuries when he has a full time job and could buy this stuff himself?? I find it so hard to respect him when I see him acting like this.

CocktailQueen Fri 02-Sep-11 19:16:37

YANBU. I'd feel the same. HAve you told your dp how you feel? I assume his dad can afford it, or else he wouldn't give him the money. A bit shock that he's doing it without his wife being aware though.

SiamoFottuti Fri 02-Sep-11 19:18:20

yeauch. How childish. How about you point out how deeply unattractive a trait this is and how it drastically reduces the chances him getting into your pants?

PassTheGlass Fri 02-Sep-11 19:19:06

its ridiculous, one time they set up this bloody "transaction" by his dad HIDING £400 in a tool kit and pretended DP was borrowing the tool kit.
At least I know where DP gets his dishonesty from.

scarletfingernail Fri 02-Sep-11 19:19:21


I was cringing reading this. Your DP is taking advantage of his Dad's generous nature. I would find this seriously unattractive and it would actually make me really angry.

Glitterknickaz Fri 02-Sep-11 19:21:47

He's childish, he's dishonest.... you've said that yourself.
So, remind me.... why are you with him?

MissVerinder Fri 02-Sep-11 19:22:42


Poor DP's mum. She will find out one day, and there will be consequences sad

PassTheGlass Fri 02-Sep-11 19:26:56

oh apparantly his dad has to hide stuff as his mum is "controlling". In other words she'd put a stop to her husband treating their 37 year old son like a bloody teenager.

Pandemoniaa Fri 02-Sep-11 19:35:01

Why are the pair of them so obsessed with material possessions?

fit2drop Fri 02-Sep-11 19:36:48

and you are with him because???

To be fair OP you should say something as a lot of the things you mention you benefit from as well ie the holiday, the TV the car...
So you would be well within your rights to tell DPs Dad that you don't need the handouts and that you dont appreciate him enabling DP to be a spoilt little shit that is refusing to be adult and responsible

create Fri 02-Sep-11 19:54:27

You do realise he will end up just like his dad don't you......? The most disturbing part is that FIL is doing all this behind his wife's back

storytopper Fri 02-Sep-11 20:08:14

Has he always been spoiled by his Dad or has this just started recently? Perhaps his Dad has a retirement lump sum to spend. Shame he's not spending some of it on his wife or at least consulting her about how it is being spent.

Ask your DP to consider what will happen in the future when his parents might really need the money - e.g. one of them becomes ill and they need to pay for care or an operation. Will he be willing and able to step into the breach then and pay up?

slavetofilofax Fri 02-Sep-11 20:10:39

Is there any chance she does know really and just turns a blind eye?

KittyFane Fri 02-Sep-11 20:19:48

Your DP sounds like a brat but his dad sound as if he enjoys doing this - makes him feel good?
Your DP's hints are what would worry me. What is he? 12?!

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