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To ask my sister's boyfriend what it would cost us to get him to propose to her?

(51 Posts)
harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:35:50

I'd have to pay her to say yes too. Probably. This is the problem.

She's a bit of a commitment phobe. And I do understand. She has given me dozens of reasons over the years why getting married isn't a good idea. I asked her recently for one good reason to get married. She felt upset when I said that but I know it's not right for her. All of the blokes are GREAT, this is what's beggars, and want to be with her very much. The one she just broke up with is organising a weekend away for her to 'thank her for the lovely times.' I am totally serious.

Of course I don't want her to make a bad decision. I'm being entirely selfish.

I am an only child and DH's other sibling won't be having a family.

I get so sad sometimes thinking the girls aren't going to be having any cousins. We go away with othr friends with children and it's not that we don't enjoy it. I just do think: wouldn't it be lovely if this were DSIL and her husband and her children. And I feel really sad about it.

It doesn't EXACTLY help that I'm adopted either, in my home country without my DCs and DH and it's my birthday. I'm sitting here crying like a loon.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 02-Sep-11 15:37:40

Don't interfere. If you're doing this anyway so that your DCs have cousins, that's ridiculous. Keep your beak out, it would be hugely insulting. shock

Did you really think this would be the right thing to do? Really? confused

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:39:39

LyingWitch: For God's sake the title is fecetious.

Sandalwood Fri 02-Sep-11 15:40:16

But she hasn't got a boyfriend.

Your sister's not upset. It's about you - but you have a family, easy to say - but be happy about that.
Why are you away and alone on your birthday?

scrambedeggs Fri 02-Sep-11 15:41:27

how can you be an only child and have a sister?

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:41:43

We were here on a holiday - my mom has breast cancer. I stayed behind to help out and got stuck here because of the weather. I've been trying to get home for a week.

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:42:03

Sister in law.

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:43:01

FUCK- I can't believe I put my sister in the thread title. How bloody FREUDIAN is that.

LoveBeingIgnoredByMardyBra Fri 02-Sep-11 15:43:47

I am really confused by this whole thread tbh. Leave her alone.

PeanutGallery Fri 02-Sep-11 15:44:47

I think the title should say SIL scrambled.

harriet, bear in mind that if your DSIL did get married and have children, they might well be little horrors who your DDs would hate grin.

happy birthday by the way! Where are your DCs and DH and why are they not with you?

crazyspaniel Fri 02-Sep-11 15:44:55

Marriage and kids aren't everyone's aspiration in life. YABVU to project your aspirations onto her.

PhilipJFry Fri 02-Sep-11 15:46:10

She sounds like she doesn't want marriage and might not even be keen on having children. Not everyone goes down that road. Just because these men are nice and want to be with her doesn't make any of them her ideal partner who she wants to settle down and have babies with. Good on her for having the courage to end a relationship she isn't happy with.

VFVF Fri 02-Sep-11 15:46:34

I don't have any cousins. It's fab grin more attention and presents for me. Shame I have to share them with my stupid brother [spoiled brat emocion]

ShootinTheBreeze Fri 02-Sep-11 15:47:31

How bizarre!

PeanutGallery Fri 02-Sep-11 15:47:46

cross posted with your explanation.

Very sorry to hear about your mum. It sounds like you are worried about losing a close family member, you're feeling very lonely, and so you are trying subconsciously to think of ways you can build up the family numbers so that you and your DDs aren't in this position in the future... Understandable.

pommedechocolat Fri 02-Sep-11 15:48:37

I'm considering paying BIL and soon to be SIL to have children immediately so that MIL can be distracted by other grandchildren.

In my mind YANBU smile

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 02-Sep-11 15:48:59

Facetious? No. Spurious and odd most definitely.

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:50:13

My brain is scrambled and I probably shouldn't have posted. My DCs and DH are back in England. We were here on holiday and also to see my mom who is sick. I've just been chatting to DSIS about her weekend away with this bloke this weekend and what they're planning. Acc'd to him they aren't broken up in his home country yet - he's planning osmething big, he said. I said to her: I wonder if he will propose. "Oh no, he's just going to thank me for the lovely times." Okay...I guess that's something blokes do regularly after they've been dumped. He is such a nice guy though it might be true.

I know there's every chance that we wouldn't all be happy families. I am just sad today really.

Sandalwood Fri 02-Sep-11 15:50:21

aww I think I know how you're feeling a little. I feel a bit upset sometimes when I think about DD being an only and who will remember this childhood with her. I expect things feel quite fragile to you just now with your mum being ill. Families are important and your DSIL (and her carefree ways) is a part of yours but you can't change her - she's probably quite right that marriage isn't right for her.
How old is she BTW?

babysaurus Fri 02-Sep-11 15:51:29

What a weird thread.

OP are you taking the piss? confused

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:52:33

Peanut - you are also right about me being worried about my DDs having some support in the future.

ViviPru Fri 02-Sep-11 15:53:10

I don't get it - you said she just broke up with someone - so she doesn't currently have a boyfriend to bribe into proposing anyhow. Or are you just referring to generic 'boyfriend', as and when he may come along?

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:56:37

Vivi - she has been seeing someone for about five years until recently when she felt it made sense to end it for professional circumstnaces, etc.

They are remaining 'friends' though and she is going out to see him this weekend. They are speaking every day.

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:57:13

and OF COURSE I am not really going to bribe him.

harrietthespook Fri 02-Sep-11 15:58:08

Sandal - she's in her late 30s.

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