I am now being an unsociable cow ignoring the phone . We have been home all holiday & nobody has been interested in playdates when I've tried to arrange them. Now we get a flurry of mum's feeling guilty that they haven't let their DC's play with their friends all holiday! AIBU to ignore all but those that bothered to at least to reply to my calls/texts weeks ago? I want to chill before schools go back/I go back to work, not spend all day everyday at somebody else's house/park/local play centre! Grrrr
I think it depends. If they have ignored calls/texts from you earlier in the holidays then you are NBU, but as a working mum I only have this week at home with my children (11 and 8) so have to try to arrange all the friends they wanted to see over the holidays in this short time (the rest of the time we have been on vacation or they have been at kids clubs/grandparents whilst I worked) and I have not had the time to plan ahead.
Some have been away, but most have been around for most of the holiday (at the most working part time). It just makes me cross that I feel guilty for DD if I say no just when things are starting to busy again for me, others want to bother.
Maybe people have been away on holiday, and then visiting relatives etc. I know we've been really busy but have managed to squeeze in a few playdates. Sometimes it is really hard to get playdates arranged. I don't think YABU in wanting to time and space before school restarts. Maybe you could arrange a playdate for the weekend after school goes back instead?
I hardly made any arrangements for my DC to have friends round to play during the holidays purely because we were busy most of the time - DH and I could only have two/three weeks of the holidays at home with the DC anyway so we spent that time as family time and some of it away on holiday.
Now there's only a few days left I've been thinking it will be good for my youngest to see their friends a bit before school starts so it's (hopefully) a bit less daunting. And I don't seem to have pissed any other mums off by suggesting it! Maybe I'm just thick-skinned
I didn't have any friends around because we were away for three weeks and we had loads to do re ds1 when we first got back.
I am organising some now before dd goes back next Thursday. But I like them to be here as I can do my housework and stuff while they are entreating themselves. I prefer them playing here than taking them to their friends. Much easier for me.
I would have a good friend of your DC over if you can manage it, but otherwise just say that this is your busiest time of the holiday and not convenient. Point out that if they had asked earlier in the holiday it might have been different. Although for DC sake I'd try, if only for three hours while the guest child came for play and tea (no real difference from after school) I wouldn't be doing full day type playdates.
It is very rude for people not to reply to offers of playdates, waiting until the dc are bored and there are no better offers, so YANBU about that. Why is it so hard to let people know that you will be away or have guests to stay etc.
Hmm I'm probably one of those mums - we've had a fairly busy summer and been away for a good chunk of it and now I'm feeling bad at not having arranged playdates so frantically cramming them in now before the DC go back.
weird - why be offended if you haven't bothered before? i try to forget all about school and stuff over the holidays, and then see a few people before they go back to get back into it. not worth being riled about.
I think there are two schools of thought with parents and DC re school. Some Mums get very involved and others are sort of removed from it all....I'm not saying either is right....but I know that I probably think about it all too much.
I can't seem to stop worrying about helping DD form friendships even though she's very good a that.....I feel I have to be this perfect Mother who is always available to host her friends....and I have only met ONE other Mother who is like that in her class...the others are friendly and open to playdates but not bothered about them really...they seem busier than me in that they work full time so their family time is rare and precious.