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To think that other mum's ABU with sudden requests for playdates before school goes back?

(18 Posts)
pugsandseals Thu 01-Sep-11 14:19:27

I am now being an unsociable cow ignoring the phone angry. We have been home all holiday & nobody has been interested in playdates when I've tried to arrange them. Now we get a flurry of mum's feeling guilty that they haven't let their DC's play with their friends all holiday! AIBU to ignore all but those that bothered to at least to reply to my calls/texts weeks ago? I want to chill before schools go back/I go back to work, not spend all day everyday at somebody else's house/park/local play centre! Grrrr

TheOriginalFAB Thu 01-Sep-11 14:25:17

Neither really as you don't know the reason why they haven't called before.

I have heard from no one all holiday but that suits me as we have been busy/ill so couldn't have done anything anyway.

Makes me feel a bit annoyed though that we are good enough to bother with when nothing else is forthcoming.

UsAndTwo Thu 01-Sep-11 14:25:43

I think it depends. If they have ignored calls/texts from you earlier in the holidays then you are NBU, but as a working mum I only have this week at home with my children (11 and 8) so have to try to arrange all the friends they wanted to see over the holidays in this short time (the rest of the time we have been on vacation or they have been at kids clubs/grandparents whilst I worked) and I have not had the time to plan ahead.

pugsandseals Thu 01-Sep-11 14:29:52

Some have been away, but most have been around for most of the holiday (at the most working part time). It just makes me cross that I feel guilty for DD if I say no just when things are starting to busy again for me, others want to bother.

AnotherJaffaCake Thu 01-Sep-11 14:30:17

Maybe people have been away on holiday, and then visiting relatives etc. I know we've been really busy but have managed to squeeze in a few playdates. Sometimes it is really hard to get playdates arranged. I don't think YABU in wanting to time and space before school restarts. Maybe you could arrange a playdate for the weekend after school goes back instead?

DoingTheBestICan Thu 01-Sep-11 14:38:00

YANBU,i seem to have been inundated with playdates from ds' friends all over the holidays & yet funnily enough when it's their turn at their house they are 'busy'.

I cant wait for Monday just so i can give everywhere a good clean.

Badtasteflump Thu 01-Sep-11 14:44:35

I hardly made any arrangements for my DC to have friends round to play during the holidays purely because we were busy most of the time - DH and I could only have two/three weeks of the holidays at home with the DC anyway so we spent that time as family time and some of it away on holiday.

Now there's only a few days left I've been thinking it will be good for my youngest to see their friends a bit before school starts so it's (hopefully) a bit less daunting. And I don't seem to have pissed any other mums off by suggesting it! Maybe I'm just thick-skinned grin

Pagwatch Thu 01-Sep-11 14:46:41

I think you are reading too much into it.

I didn't have any friends around because we were away for three weeks and we had loads to do re ds1 when we first got back.

I am organising some now before dd goes back next Thursday.
But I like them to be here as I can do my housework and stuff while they are entreating themselves. I prefer them playing here than taking them to their friends. Much easier for me.

mynewpassion Fri 02-Sep-11 03:16:16

So you are going to punish your DC just because you are angry at other mums?

girlywhirly Fri 02-Sep-11 09:53:05

I would have a good friend of your DC over if you can manage it, but otherwise just say that this is your busiest time of the holiday and not convenient. Point out that if they had asked earlier in the holiday it might have been different. Although for DC sake I'd try, if only for three hours while the guest child came for play and tea (no real difference from after school) I wouldn't be doing full day type playdates.

It is very rude for people not to reply to offers of playdates, waiting until the dc are bored and there are no better offers, so YANBU about that. Why is it so hard to let people know that you will be away or have guests to stay etc.

YANBU if people have ignored you. I'm back as a working mum this year and it's been bloody hectic and DS has been in holiday clubs. However I would have has the decency to reply.

YABU to sacrifice your kids some playtime if you can arrange it now.

YABU to sacrifce some quiet time for yourself if you can palm them off for a few afternoons and sleepovers wink

MumblingRagDoll Fri 02-Sep-11 10:34:47

YANBU I have also had this! Luckily my DD has cousins....but I have now decided that 90% of Mums and Dads are lazy or stupidly busy.

PattySimcox Fri 02-Sep-11 10:40:44

Hmm I'm probably one of those mums - we've had a fairly busy summer and been away for a good chunk of it and now I'm feeling bad at not having arranged playdates so frantically cramming them in now before the DC go back.

I'm not being intentionally rude honest

unfitmother Fri 02-Sep-11 10:47:02

Have you just got this week off OP?

BagdadCafe Fri 02-Sep-11 10:49:51

Yep, same as Pagwatch and PattyS. Done the family holidays, obligatory visits to relatives, organised activity clubs, thing; left this week at home to get organised and ready for school.

Also, really love relishing this last week of freedom with friends, feels special. We have end of holiday picnics and walks and barbecues, love it.

grumpypants Fri 02-Sep-11 10:50:33

weird - why be offended if you haven't bothered before? i try to forget all about school and stuff over the holidays, and then see a few people before they go back to get back into it. not worth being riled about.

MumblingRagDoll Fri 02-Sep-11 11:09:16

I think there are two schools of thought with parents and DC re school.
Some Mums get very involved and others are sort of removed from it all....I'm not saying either is right....but I know that I probably think about it all too much.

I can't seem to stop worrying about helping DD form friendships even though she's very good a that.....I feel I have to be this perfect Mother who is always available to host her friends....and I have only met ONE other Mother who is like that in her class...the others are friendly and open to playdates but not bothered about them really...they seem busier than me in that they work full time so their family time is rare and precious.

I wish I could be more removed.

ll31 Fri 02-Sep-11 11:10:48

I'd think its whether your kids want said playdates are not thats the issue - if they do then yabu not to do them I'd think and if they're not interested then don't do them.

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