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or would you be offended

(36 Posts)
unreasonableme Thu 01-Sep-11 13:02:05

if I were to lend you a fairly substantial amount of money, and asked for something in writing to prove this transaction had happened?

Background: Very good friend of mine used to have superb credit rating but life happened and she lost her house and went bankrupt.

I have lent her money in the past, and always had it back, with interest, so I have no worries that she won't pay me back. She now needs a new car and said she'd get a loan, but I suspect she won't be able to get one, and offered to get one for her. Surprisingly she's said she would if necessary which I'm happy with. I don't drive so get benefit of her having a car (she'll give me lifts, do a huge shop etc) and never pay her money for petrol etc.

The only thing I'm concerned about is that she's hit by a bus a day after buying said car, her family gets the car and I'm stuck with the loan. I'm sure they'd believe me if I told them about it, but I'd rather have the backup.

I know it's unlikely this scenario would occur, but I just feel I should be sensible about this.

Comments anyone?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Thu 01-Sep-11 13:04:16

Erm -to be honest I dont think it is ever sensible to get a loan for anyone else!!! What happens if her finances go tits up again and she cant pay??

So, YABU for getting her a loan although if you go ahead, then yes, cover your arse!

trixie123 Thu 01-Sep-11 13:04:19

seems perfectly reasonable and sensible. Always tricky mixing money with friendship or family and having it in writing just avoids any possibly issues. Explain to her that its NOT because you don't trust her but just to keep things clear.

takethisonehereforastart Thu 01-Sep-11 13:04:21

I think it's sensible. Can you do the agreement between yourselves or would you need to have it done officially to make it legal or binding?

StrandedBear Thu 01-Sep-11 13:04:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Imnotaslimjim Thu 01-Sep-11 13:05:02

I wouldn't be offended at all, of course you need some sort of protection. Even a simply signed receipt would suffice

diddl Thu 01-Sep-11 13:06:04

I´d let her sort herself out & start paying for petrol/taxis tbh.

knittedbreast Thu 01-Sep-11 13:07:33


LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Thu 01-Sep-11 13:08:29

No, not offended at all. It's good of you to help your friend, or at least offer.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin Thu 01-Sep-11 13:22:18

If you decide to lend her the money get a signed loan agreement which details the repayment plan. It should also cover what will happen if the car is written off - it's very easy for a second hand car to be an insurance write off after an accident, as it balances value against the repair costs.

nocake Thu 01-Sep-11 13:26:51

When DW and I moved in together I gave her some money to pay off part of the mortgage on her flat. We put down in writing how much I'd given her and the terms for paying it back. We both decided is was a very sensible thing to do, to avoid mis-understanding in the future.

GrimmaTheNome Thu 01-Sep-11 13:26:56

YANBU, you definitely should get it in writing. If she is offended, then TBH that would ring warning bells that you should step back. (from your description she won't be though)

tyler80 Thu 01-Sep-11 13:39:12

Lending money to a friend is one thing, taking out a loan on their behalf is a whole different level and something I wouldn't do.

It's not about mistrusting your friend, more what would happen if she became genuinely unable to keep up with the repayments.

SeaChelles Thu 01-Sep-11 13:43:42

If YOU take out a loan and YOU sign for it - it is YOUR responsibility, the banks would look and your note/piece of paper saying that it was for your friend and wouldn't be bothered - you would still have to pay for it if (god forbid) something were to happen to said friend.

I've worked in a bank and seen this kind of thing happen, its never a good idea unless she will be named on the loan with you.

ShirleyKnot Thu 01-Sep-11 13:45:54

Just ask yourself...What Would Judge Judy Do?

unreasonableme Thu 01-Sep-11 13:47:13

Thanks for your replies. Shall think about this further.

Tbh the letter would simply be to show the family in case anything happened. I know them well enough anyway, and I'm sure my friend would let them know beforehand what was happening.

I think that if it does come to it I shall have a long chat about what exactly this would mean for both of us. I don't want to dismiss the idea entirely just yet, but will be cautious.

wannaBe Thu 01-Sep-11 14:00:09

you need to be very very careful about doing this. If she is bankrupt then there are strict rules about what money she is spending...

I have friends who had to go bankrupt and they can essentially be inspected at any time. So for instance her mother bought her a piano (she has spent lots of time in and out of hospital and has become disabled, just in case people think they are living frivelously (sp?)), but it has had to be made very clear that the piano belongs to her mother and is on loan to them, because if the assessors (or whatever they're called) come round and it transpires that they have aquired such an expensive item during their period of bankrupcy then it can be repossessed under the terms of the bankrupcy agreement.

I imagine that if you're taking out a loan for a car, then legally there may be some issue over registering the car in her name if she is a declared bankrupt and still in bankrupcy, even though it's you ppppppppppppppppaying off the loan.

I wouldn't do it personally tbh.

porcamiseria Thu 01-Sep-11 14:01:26

dont get her a loan you are mad!!!! are you a bank or something? YABU

friend and money dont mix

scrambedeggs Thu 01-Sep-11 14:01:37

nope, i rarely get offended and have watched too many Judge Judy's to realise this is a very good idea

Catsdontcare Thu 01-Sep-11 14:06:46

Lending money is one thing but noway would I take out a lone for someone

wannaBe Thu 01-Sep-11 14:10:08

also, you need to consider that she is bankrupt for a reason - because she borrowed too much money in the past and was unable to pay it back.

By lending her money, or worse actually by taking out a loan on her behalf you are assisting her in flouting the terms of her bankrupcy agreement which states specifically that she is not allowed any credit for a set period of time.

What you are doing might not actually even be legal.

mrsravelstein Thu 01-Sep-11 14:10:24

shirleyknot that is a quite brilliant life philosophy, i like it smile

januaryjojo Thu 01-Sep-11 14:15:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful Thu 01-Sep-11 14:23:07

I think that it's lovely you want to help your friend, but I'll just add a note of caution. You might think you know what she would do, but no-one ever really knows anyone else.

My great aunt died a few years ago. Her best friend was entitled under her will to take whatever items from her house she chose. They had been friends for 40 years, my great aunt trusted her not to take the pi$$. I even recall being together with them when said friend listed the four items she would take.

After great aunt died, friend went through the house like a whirlwind. She even took items of furniture which my grandad had made.

Fast forward a couple of years and my secretary is found to have been forging cheque requests in my name and had swindled approx £30k from our employer.

Please don't do something that will leave you with a loan and no asset to pay it off with....

Asmodeus Thu 01-Sep-11 14:24:44

Even those closest to us are capable of fucking us over. Never hurts to cover your back and I'd understand if it were me who was asked to sign.

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