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to say that everybody makes assumptions based on appearance

(88 Posts)
Hullygully Thu 01-Sep-11 11:30:00

If you saw a woman dressed in floaty beads and patchouli with Indian sandals and a whiff of the hemp, would you think her likely to run the Bank of England?


We all make assumptions. It is not the same as judging.

It is plain daft to say that appearance counts for nowt.

LeBOF Thu 01-Sep-11 11:32:23

I do tend to assume that men wearing all-in-ones and sucking dummies are high court judges.

stripeybump Thu 01-Sep-11 11:33:20

YANBU but you probably only assume correctly 80% of the time, so as long as you treat people without prejudice then I think you're quite normal, everyone does it.

PonceyMcPonce Thu 01-Sep-11 11:34:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissPenteuth Thu 01-Sep-11 11:34:29

Of course we do, we use previous experience to form opinions. But when you assume you should always be prepared for the possibility that you're assumptions are incorrect.

As an aside, did you know that apparently whenever you meet someone new, you're subconsciously reminded of someone you already know, and that affects how you feel about the new person?

Hullygully Thu 01-Sep-11 11:35:13

That's a fairly reliable assumption there, Boffy

MissPenteuth Thu 01-Sep-11 11:35:24

Gah, you're assumptions? I mean your, obviously.

tryingtoleave Thu 01-Sep-11 11:35:51

YANBU. I also think people tend to be attracted to (in friend terms, not sexually) and make friends with people who look similar to them.

StrandedBear Thu 01-Sep-11 11:35:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Thu 01-Sep-11 11:37:04

MissP - that's interesting. I was on a ferry recently and there was a man of middle years in teeny speedos sitting thigh to thigh with his young male squeeze by the pool. He looked exactly like the dc's headteacher and I now have terrible difficulty not grinning when we meet.

ScarletLady01 Thu 01-Sep-11 11:38:53

I think everyone does...but I think it's important to remember that assumptions can be wrong so to try and keep an open mind. I hate getting funny looks when out with my daughter. I once got told to "grow up and start dressing like a mother". does a mother dress exactly?

deliakate Thu 01-Sep-11 11:39:04

Stock mn response if you mention having a thought of any kind about another person you have seen but may or may not know.... maybe she is looking at the weird woman staring at her and judging you based on your choice of accessories!

cyb Thu 01-Sep-11 11:39:35

But its not all about the perceiver is it

We WANT to make a statement about ourselves based on our appearance, dont we?

Otherwise all shops would stock would be hessian sacks or elasticated jogging trousers

it makes my head hurt thinking about it

Hullygully Thu 01-Sep-11 11:40:45

Yes we do, Cyb. That's why it's not unreasonable to make assumptions because whatever someone's wearing, it is a choice they have made and therefore a valid indicator (unless a hospital gown, say)

Laquitar Thu 01-Sep-11 11:41:39

YANBU. This is the reason people smart up for a job interview.

First time impressions also apply to job title/occupation imo, no matter how much people deny this.

Oh and people lose sleep over baby names too.

cyb Thu 01-Sep-11 11:43:17

Are you an S and B gal Hully? Cant remember if I've seen you o'er there

101namechanges Thu 01-Sep-11 11:44:44


Hullygully Thu 01-Sep-11 11:45:45

I do pop by sometimes, but I'm not really an S&B person, not remotely in fact. My entire attempt at appearance is to Pass Muster. I only wear shirts and trousers and they are all blue so they all vaguely go. I occasionally venture a scarf if dressing up is required. I like to be unnoticed.

Sinister Thu 01-Sep-11 11:46:27

I worked with a girl in here early twenties for a while last year - she had blue dreads, nose ring, skull tattoo, wore black and studs etc. etc. - you get the idea...

...she was such a bore because she thought everyone who came into our place of work was judging her (did you see his face when he saw my hair? - she was rude because i look like this) - a lot of them were elderly....thing is ... none of them gave a flying fuck in reality .... and she talked endlessly about how 'different' she looked (yes my dear - just exactly different like your 15 friends who come to see you after work hmm).

DrewsGirl Thu 01-Sep-11 11:46:47

YANBU, i judge people by how they look/walk/speak. i love love love people watching, but i do know that people will be doing that back to me and i always ask DH, i wonder what people are saying about us.

Birdsgottafly Thu 01-Sep-11 11:48:38

Most people do, unless they are trained or taught not to.

Making assumptions can work against you as well as for you. As in thinking all doctors know what they are talking about or a man wearing a suit can be trusted.

Some of the courses i have been on have included speech patterns and non verbal communication, which i use to read people by.

101namechanges Thu 01-Sep-11 11:48:51


Foopuss Thu 01-Sep-11 11:49:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Thu 01-Sep-11 11:51:24

You have frightened me now, Foopuss. <Goes off to wax face>

VelvetSnow Thu 01-Sep-11 11:51:42

to assume makes an ass out of u and me

I hate that phrase - my colleague says it to me all the friggin time.

My assumptions are always correct grin

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