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AIBU?

To find it unsettling that mum's still threaten to smack childrens bums in public?

358 replies

kitya · 31/08/2011 19:24

Ive just been to the nail parlour and this perfectly nice mum in her early twenties told her daughter that if she didnt sit still she would pull her knickers down and smack her bum. I thought that went out with the 70's? I didnt know where to look. She was telling me about starting uni and everything but, I couldnt concentrate and what she was saying after that.

OP posts:

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Mitmoo · 31/08/2011 19:27

Personally I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT.

WoofToYouTooLady · 31/08/2011 19:27

YABU to go to a nail parlour

defrocked · 31/08/2011 19:28

i wouldnt just threaten it, i would and have done it

mummymccar · 31/08/2011 19:34

It depends on your stance on smacking and how she said it. As a teenager I saw a mother threaten to smack her child but in such a way that it was quite obvious it was going to be more of a punch than a tap and she very much meant it. The poor kid was pale as anything and shaking so much. The worst part is that he'd only whispered her name, he'd been as good as gold the whole time he was in the shop. In the end a member of staff asked them to leave. Awful.

Birdsgottafly · 31/08/2011 19:38

defrocked-out of interest how long ago and what age was the child?

Sookeh · 31/08/2011 19:38

I hate to see it but then, I'm a soft touch

I've never smacked DD, it's just not something I could do.

theinet · 31/08/2011 19:39

my mother and grandmother pulled my pants down in public and smacked my bare bum. it was humiliating but taught me not to be naughty! no big deal . YABU.

TheFlyingOnion · 31/08/2011 19:40

umm I'm gonna go with.... YABU

.

worraliberty · 31/08/2011 19:40

No it didn't go out in the 70's, what makes you think that?

Animation · 31/08/2011 19:42

What an idiot!

Mitmoo · 31/08/2011 19:43

worra because parenting has moved on.

5GoMadOnAZ650 · 31/08/2011 19:43

I threaten lots of things, it doesn't mean I'd do it, although dp is still holding out for me to follow through with running away with the circus...

worraliberty · 31/08/2011 19:44

Yes but the 70's?

kitya · 31/08/2011 19:45

because thats when I was a young child and we were regularly told it. I cant say we got it though well, only the boys. It was the 70's afterall.

As for the nail place, where else am I supposed to get a cheap manicure before my holiday?

OP posts:

Mitmoo · 31/08/2011 19:49

I was a child of the 60's early 70's my parents didn't have anything else as the ulitimate sanction other than the smack. I didn't do me any harm but it did see one of my siblings as a teen (showing smacking doesn't actually work for all) ready to smack back (making it a rather dangerous form of "discipline" for some).

Today we have access to so many other ways of disciplining children without smacking them, that a lot of effective discipliners who don't smack, see it as a rather unhappy way to parent to threaten children with a smack.

As I say I absolutely hate seeing it but keep my mouth shut better a smacked child than an undisciplined one.

My personal choice to effectively discipline but not smack. I cringe when I hear children threatened with smacks.

MrsRhettButler · 31/08/2011 19:51

I've never said I'd pull pants down but I threaten to smack in public and I definitely wouldn't go back on what I've said so if needs be I would do it.

Thankfully dd behaves herself very well usually

mrsravelstein · 31/08/2011 19:54

YANBU - i was really surprised though to learn fairly recently on MN that there are lots of people who smack, i must admit i had assumed it had gone out with the 70s and dr spock type parenting too.

worraliberty · 31/08/2011 19:59

I think people simply do what works for them and their children

I know a lot of people would opt to tell a 3yr old who has been naughty in the supermarket, that they're going on the naughty step when they get home. Then perhaps an hour or more later, they follow it through...and often the child can't even remember what it did in the supermarket.

Other parents deal with it there and then on the spot...with a swift little smack.

Either way, if whatever option a parent chooses works...then it's job done.

justpaddling · 31/08/2011 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SquongebobSparepants · 31/08/2011 19:59

YANBU, it makes me furious.

mrsravelstein · 31/08/2011 20:03

well, my mum smacked me (in the 70s!) and i don't necessarily think it did me any harm, but i still can't imagine any circumstance in which i'd think it was a useful parenting technique for my 3dc, and have managed 10 years of parenting without resorting to it

kitya · 31/08/2011 20:03

Its the whole pulling the knickers down thing. I mean, would she have done it if her nails werent wet? The other thing is why take a child to a bloody nail parlour?

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wonkylegs · 31/08/2011 20:03

I threaten to do it all the time but I've only done it once to stop DS doing something dangerous....and that was on the hand. He was so shocked that he sees it as the ultimate punishment so comes as the threat following timeout or other punishment. Thankfully never had to follow through, I'm sure he'll figure this out sooner or later and call my bluff

Ripeberry · 31/08/2011 20:03

My mum had a carpet beater. She never touched us with it, but she would wack it down very hard on the sofa or on the carpet and threaten us with it.
We spent a lot of time trying to find out where she hid it, so we could 'lose' it.

HummelBoy · 31/08/2011 20:14

DS (12) has had in twelve years (two smacks at home), Once whilst out and about when he was younger, I whispered whilst smiling ( you know the drill ) If I have to smack, I will.

He later told DH, I must have really pushed Mummy today.
Despite knowing the why, he asked why ?

DS replied, she never smacks me, and I pushed her too far.
So IMO, not a problem in extreme moderation.

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