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AIBU?

To be pleased this man has been jailed for passing on herpes

43 replies

Mitmoo · 31/08/2011 12:00

He told his girlfriend he deliberately infected her so no on else would ever want her.


The 29-year-old admitted causing grievous bodily harm by giving the sexually transmitted infection to his then partner, Cara Lee, 23.

But sexual health experts and charities have called the decision to imprison him ?outrageous?.

It is the first time anyone has been convicted for passing on herpes.

Golding, who works for the Highways Agency, kept his infection a secret when the couple were together in 2009, and later denied it when confronted by his partner, Northampton crown court heard.

After finding out she had been infected, Ms Lee moved out and reported him to police in March 2010.


?The injury you caused by this infection is at least or more serious than an injury leaving a scar because it carries continued recurrence, extreme discomfort and consequences for relationships she will have in the future.?

David Everett, defending, said his client was ?extremely stupid but he did not do this in a premeditated way.?



Read more: www.metro.co.uk/news/872576-man-jailed-for-14-months-for-giving-girlfriend-genital-herpes#ixzz1WbSBVFXd

I have no sympathy for him. Sexual Health experts are outraged. Debate has just been on R5L. I think if you have an STD then the other person deserves to know the risks they are taking if you know them.

OP posts:
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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 31/08/2011 12:10

This old news that was debated here when the case was first reported in the media.

YABU to raise it again

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begonyabampot · 31/08/2011 12:11

how do they know he did it deliberately, did he admit this?

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LeBOF · 31/08/2011 12:12

YABU, and there was a big thread about this ages ago, if you want to inform yourself a bit better.

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onagar · 31/08/2011 12:18

He sounds like someone the world would be better off without, but a strange and somewhat confused decision.

I don't think you can deliberately infect someone so that is wrong. Keeping it a secret so they can't make an informed decision is disgusting, but last I looked medical professionals who have AIDS are allowed to keep quiet about it even if their work entails some risk to patients.

Someone needs to sit down and work out what we want the law to be. Personally I think keeping infections secret and endangering others should be illegal for everyone and not just a selected few.

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EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 31/08/2011 12:41

YABU and a bit dim.

Do you get cold sores by the way?

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MillyR · 31/08/2011 13:03

If they have very good evidence that he touched her genitals knowing that he had an active outbreak, and without her knowledge of the outbreak, then I think the judge's decision is correct.

As for there being a thread on it before, that is true for most things we discuss on MN.

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TalesOfTheUnexpected · 31/08/2011 13:13

YABU

I refuse to comment further on the grounds it may incriminate me Grin.

Biscuit

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Mitmoo · 31/08/2011 13:17

IzzyPissy YABU to keep being a PITA. [Grin} Not everyone sits here all day every day checking every single thread. It was being debated on R5L this morning hence the post.

Eric There was a bloke from the Herpes Association or similar name making the same point about cold sores. He was pretty much ridiculed as a bit of a fool for trying to compare a cold sore to a sexually transmitted disease that is incurable, where those infected can suffer painful outbreaks for the rest of their lives.

Sorry you were saying about who being dim?

Milly your right of course, it's a sad little game that a sad little poster plays when I post, the silly woman. Yes if it was deliberate I agree he deserves what he got.

Bony He pleaded guilty so he must have. Girlfriend also says he told her he did it on purpose so no one else would have her. I think it is right that the message goes out it is not on. You allow the other person to make an informed choice about the risks they put their body through.

I have a sneaking suspicion that he will appeal and have the sentence reduced though.

OP posts:
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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 31/08/2011 13:17

Of course there are old threads that relate to new topics that appear here, but this is OLD NEWS which has already been debated at length in a particularly long thread.

If the OP's current experience(s) related to this particular case it would not BU to cite it, but that doesn't seem to apply here.

FTR, this case did not go to trial by jury as the accused entered a plea of guilty.

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Mitmoo · 31/08/2011 13:19

Then feel free to ignore it Izzy if you have nothing of value to add.
Waves tata to Izzy.

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CurrySpice · 31/08/2011 13:21

Cold sores and herpes are the same disease OP

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CurrySpice · 31/08/2011 13:28

In fact, I'm going to join Eric in calling you a bit dim because waltzing into a topic which affects MNers every day with little or no knowledge of it and is, in fact, a bit dim Hmm

Saying someone was "pretty much ridiculed as a bit of a fool" when that someone who has forgotten more about the subject than you will ever know, adds to your dimness quotient

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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 31/08/2011 13:38

This is yet another thread from an OP who has, of late, posted on AIBU on a (sometimes more than) daily basis but who is not willing to concede that there may be occasion when she is BU.

This same OP regularly demeans others but gets hysterical adopts a stance of unrighteous indignation when others do not agree with her sometimes irrational views.

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CurrySpice · 31/08/2011 13:43

Thanks for the heads up izzy. Shall I unclench? Wink

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littlepiglet · 31/08/2011 13:43

Mitmoo genital herpes is EXACTLY the same as cold sores - in fact if you gave a bloke a BJ whilst having cold sores, he could get genital herpes from you.

If you ever let a man give you cunnilingus whilst he has coldsores - again you could have genital herpes.

They are the same thing - just occur in different places on the body.

The term herpes type 1 or 2 , is meaningless, as they can occur wherever they infect the skin.

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CognitiveDissident · 31/08/2011 13:51

OP

I'm not going to join in the ad hominem attacks, but I suggest you read a better paper then the Metro, which consists of recycled droppings from the Daily Fail.

The Guardian, Indy and even the Telegraph have covered this story in a far more reasoned manner, and at far greater depth then the inflammatory, puritanical hysteria displayed in your link.

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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 31/08/2011 14:00

I suggest you spare yourself the effort of clenching Curry, but be prepared for an involuntary gritting of teeth when reading this OP's threads Grin

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MillyR · 31/08/2011 14:02

I think the issue is whether or not we want to consider herpes as something we would rather avoid transmitting.

The fact that 75% of people in the UK have herpes doesn't mean that this has to be the case in 50 years time, and maybe cases like this highlight how common it is, and make people consider more carefully how they should reduce the risk of transmission.

I think the sentence seems very long, but then that is perhaps based on the conduct of the man that he has admitted to. I don't think that anyone would claim that any transmission of herpes in any situation should be considered a criminal offence.

We all do things that carry minor risks of injury; this is different to having the intention of injuring somebody else and setting out to do so.

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CurrySpice · 31/08/2011 14:02

I shall try and unclench and degrit simultaneously. And while I'm at it, I may untizzify myself

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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 31/08/2011 14:22

I hesitate to recommend my unfailing untizzifyer of choice to you, Curry, because this OP's sense of entitlement has sometimes led to me being in danger of spluttering a mouthful over my keyboard.

However, I have a cunning plan.....




Yay!

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EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 31/08/2011 16:27




There was a bloke from the Herpes Association or similar name making the same point about cold sores. He was pretty much ridiculed as a bit of a fool for trying to compare a cold sore to a sexually transmitted disease that is incurable, where those infected can suffer painful outbreaks for the rest of their lives.

Herpes and cold sores are the same virus

I have genital herpes which I caught from my husband who gets cold sores. He got them from his mum as a child.

If transmission of herpes is a criminal act then my MIL should be a criminal for spreading it to her children. My H should never kiss his son, at least not until he is of the age to understand the risk inherent and make the decision for himself.

75% of the UK population carry the herpes virus. It is usually passed on to children by adults, usually parents or family members. Are they all criminals? Is that GBH?
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CurrySpice · 31/08/2011 17:00

I think Eric, you're wasting your breath - I pointed out the same hours ago and look! no sign of the OP!

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CognitiveDissident · 31/08/2011 17:01

Righty-ho...

have fortified myself with Wine and am returning to the thread.

Mitmo you might want to read about the "herpes hysteria" of the early eighties; where the public perception of a disease formerly seen as a minor skin complaint was distorted by a mass media campaign. One of the drivers behind this was Big Pharma's desire to create a market for Acyclovir, which was proving difficult to pitch to the general public.

Data for HSV infections indicates that numbers are relatively stable (around 80% of adult world population) and have been so for at least 30 years. HSV1&2 can be carried asymptomatically,and can affect skin and mucous membranes anywhere in the body.

We could all potentially be up in the dock with David Golding.

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CognitiveDissident · 31/08/2011 17:02

wasting me bloody time here...
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MillyR · 31/08/2011 17:10

ENM, we could reduce the risk by people changing behaviour.

It depends on whether or not people think that herpes is enough of an issue to want to change behaviour.

In this legal case, there is clearly a difference in the expectations of the former couple.

In a family, you have to make decisions for your children on the relative importance of various forms of behaviour and the risk of contracting the herpes virus. In some families, kissing on the face is considered very important. In others it isn't. The decision you come to is no doubt right for your family; other people may feel differently about their bodies or the bodies of their children.

I think it is important that people understand that others may have different perceptions from them and act appropriately. This man did not do that. He decided that only his wishes were important, not the wishes of his partner.

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