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Just been told dd needs glasses. AIBU to be quite gutted, and also a bit confused actually?

(83 Posts)
PopBiscuits Wed 31-Aug-11 11:33:30

dd is 7.5

Just been for her first eye test with absolutely no expectations of finding any problems.

I was gobsmacked to see her struggling to read the 3rd or 4th line of the chart with her right eye.

With her left, she read all the way to the bottom, no problems.

Optician has recommended that she wear glasses full time for 6 months in the hope that her right eye improves.

She is devastated about this, and therefore so am I, IYSWIM?

Also, am confused as optician said that if there is no improvement after 6 months then we can give up and not bother with the glasses.

Huh? Anyone been through similar and can explain?

ZZZenAgain Wed 31-Aug-11 11:36:13

don't know why you would give up after 6 months. When you next go back, ask about that.

Did the optician recommend eye exercises for you to do with the right eye? Perhaps covering the left eye (after she has used the glasses for a bit perhaps) and working with the right eye?

It is good you found out though, if she couldn ot read the 3rd and 4th lines, she may have been struggling to read the board which could havebeen giving her headaches etc

larks35 Wed 31-Aug-11 11:41:07

What on earth is wrong with wearing glasses? It's not like the olden days of "nashy gepps" although they've become quite fashionable in recent times. When I got my first pair of glasses, wearing them was like a revelation! To be able to see things clearly was amazing.

WRT the possible temporary use of glasses, is it because your daughter has a "lazy" eye. Not really sure what that is but remember kids at school wearing patches to encourage use of the other eye.

alemci Wed 31-Aug-11 11:42:59

my ds has just had to get glasses. he is 13 and it is for the board and tv. He doesn't have to wear them all the time.

I am not surprised as I am short sighted. the NHS styles have definitely improved since I had to wear them as a teenager

PonceyMcPonce Wed 31-Aug-11 11:44:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkstinks Wed 31-Aug-11 11:46:14


Snuppeline Wed 31-Aug-11 11:49:01

I am also surprised that your optician hasn't recommended using a patch to strengthen the bad eye. It would seem that the left eye is fine so that would make sense too me. Anyway, she'll probably only have a prescription lens for her right eye and just clear glass for the left (or very small prescription). To make sure your both happy with the treatment why don't you go back to the optician and ask? Maybe even get a second opinion?

If the assessment is correct then I can only think that your dd must be experiencing some difficulties reading, writing and perhaps have poor depth perception which will all get better with glasses. If she enjoys sport she may enjoy it more, if she doesn't enjoy sports very much this may be a reason why she doesn't and she may feel more able with better vision, etc. Lots of good things can come out of this.

She's young so her attitude to the glasses should be influenced by your attitude so once your over the initial shock try to look at the positives, glasses can be real fashion statement these days and often they can get 2for1 deals so that she can have different kinds too. If she really hates her glasses then you can always look into contacts later. I know it can be gutting though

By the way my dd had glasses at 2 months and we had contact lenses too, not much fun on a struggling baby but she's now a very chic nearly-three-year-old with a fab glasses collection to match her outfits and mood. And I no longer notice them.

ZonkedOut Wed 31-Aug-11 11:49:07

My brother has a lazy eye, it wasn't detected until it was too late to correct, though they tried (glasses, patch over his good eye, an operation).

If your daughter has this, it could be that if there is no improvement within 6 months, there isn't likely to ever be an improvement, so no need to worry about glasses if they don't help.

Or it could be something different that I don't know anything about, best to ask, really.

Btw, my brother's eye hasn't affected him at all in real terms, it would only be a problem if he wanted to be a pilot, or if something happened to his good eye.

youarekidding Wed 31-Aug-11 11:52:25

When 1 eye is OK and the other needs correcting often it doesn't make any difference to the child's overall sight as the body adjusts itself iyswim? BUT if one is working harder than the other it can cause a squint/ lazy eye - especially if the difference is as pronounced as your DD's seems to be.

It is usually long sightedness in children this age and it does usually correct - as in perscription can be reduced every 6 months to a year.

There is nothing wrong with wearing glasses and the choice for children nowadays is fabulous. Can I suggest looking at lots of different optitions/ supermarket optitions before deciding on frames. They do Hannah Montana etc ones and also big names if you don't mind/ can pay £10-20 towards the cost.

My DS just 7 has worn glasses for 18 months after they picked up he has an astigmatism and slight long sightedness the year before. The astigmatism got worse over the year and sight distance remained the same. After 6 months of wearing them the astigmatism got better and distance needed upping a little more. Had test after 6 months and no change to perscription but noticed his eyes are improving so at next test if things the same/ better they will start reducing the perscription and hopefully he will not need them in a few years.

I worked with school to get DS to wear his. We began with lesson time only, then extended to lessons inc assembly and lunch and eventually he just didn't take them off (except to chew!) and now wears them all the time despite only needing them for reading/ computer/ TV etc. He says putting them on and off gives him a headache.

YANBU to feel a little sad, but YABU if you don't pursue this as it can cause more problems for your DD.

mummymccar Wed 31-Aug-11 11:53:08

Bless her, YANBU to be upset about not realising, of course you'd be upset that you didn't know she was struggling. Don't feel bad about not taking her before this either, if she wasn't complaining and seemed to be doing well then you wouldn't necessarily make it a priority.
I don't know much about eyes and I'm certainly not an expert but when I was given glasses as a child I was told that children's eyes are adaptable and that whilst a child may have a problem now it could be completely gone in a couple of months. The opticians I've mentioned this to over the years have been 50-50 about how true that is though so take it with a pinch of salt but it could be that your optician is of this way of thinking.
I don't think the OP was passing comment about glasses and people who have to wear glasses here, I think she was saying that she was upset that she hadn't realised her child was struggling and was upset about that.

eurochick Wed 31-Aug-11 11:53:58

I was given glasses to wear at 6. I had the same issue - a poor right eye and a fine left eye. I was given eye exercises to do but my sight never improved and I have been wearing glasses for the past 29 years.

I cried and cried and cried when I was told I had to wear them. I hated it. The NHS specs you were given at the time were horribly ugly. I now have a lovely Chanel pair but still immediately whip them off if anyone points a camera at me! Please give her lots of hugs and tell her she looks lovely when she gets them.

I have no idea why the optician said to give up on glasses after 6months if there is no improvement.

mummytime Wed 31-Aug-11 11:56:05

They don't test eyes in school anymore, you have to take them to an optician.
If she is short sighted in one eye, then she maybe able to function perfectly well without glasses. As I never wore mine since I was diagnosed as a teenager, and now am in the fortunate position of being able to use that eye to read as the other becomes long sighted.
However I don't understand what the optician thinks six months of wearing glasses is going to do. I would go back fro more info and if possible get referred to a specialist.

mollymole Wed 31-Aug-11 11:59:05

strange the optician saying give up on the spx after 6 months ( i work in an opticians) i would be wanting to know what this statement is based on

it will be your opinion that will influence your child so be positive about the glasses, there are some really lovely ones about - quite often the independant opticians have a much wider choice (lots of spx in the chains, but often all the same, just a different colour)

i have had 2 children in this morning and the boy needs glasses - his sister cried because she did not need them and wanted them

PopBiscuits Wed 31-Aug-11 12:08:52

Thanks all.

Really appreciate the advice. Have never had any sort of eye problems to deal with before so just struggling to get my head around exactly what all this means.

There has never been any sign that she has had problems with her sight. Never complained of headaches, reads and writes very well, and is pretty good at sports. Hence why I am so shocked.

The optician said that they would give her glasses and review every 6 months. She said if her eyes show signs of improvement, then they will stick with the glasses until they don't seem to be improving anymore.
Or if they show no improvement after the first 6 months, then they are obviously not going to and so we can give up the glasses.

This is what is confusing me. WIBU to go to another optician and just get a whole new test done without mentioning this one? Just for a second opinion.

Pawsnclaws Wed 31-Aug-11 12:15:07

I've worn glasses for 30 years and always hated them. But the glasses you get now as a child are so much better. Ds2 (7) was really disappointed when he was told he didn't need glasses as apparently they are now very "cool" (thank Harry Potter).

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Wed 31-Aug-11 12:18:30

My DD is now 10 and has worn glasses for the last four years. She looks odd to me if she doesn't wear them.
OP, whatever you do, don't pull faces when she wears them. DD thinks she is cool and has done since she first got hers. Her friend, who had them at the same time refuses to wear them a lot because her mother (French) says they are ugly sad

bottleofbeer Wed 31-Aug-11 12:21:33

My DD has terrible eyesight, I said for years one pupil was bigger than the other but everyone told me I was seeing things (ha, no I bloody wasn't!) anyhoo, at her first eye check he told me she most certainly needs glasses (my word they're so strong too) but we just made out like it was the best thing ever! getting to choose from all these fab glasses! she got carried along in the excitement and we never had any problems with her wearing them. She's been great about it. Just big them up, let her choose any she likes (max cost for the frames for kids is around 20 pounds - even designer - so it won't break the bank like adult frames will) and make it an exciting event for her, show her pictures of some of her fav celebs who wear them etc...little girls are easily carried along on the excitement of things like this. Turn them into a fashion accessory for her. Maybe that sounds shallow but if it helps and makes her feel better about wearing them I personally see no harm. Good luck!

theoldtrout01876 Wed 31-Aug-11 14:59:59

My Dd2 has same eye issue.I was told shell need to wear glasses forever and if things hadn't improved in 6 months she would need a patch. Hopefully they do improve as she's just started a new school,she is 6 btw.
I wish we had that max cost for kids frames,her glasses were almost $300 a pair and not covered by my health insurance

LRDTheFeministDragon Wed 31-Aug-11 15:05:12

I don't see the problem with getting a second opinion if you can afford it and if it won't upset your DD. But can you not ask the first optician to explain more clearly?

I had glasses/an eyepatch at that age (same reason by the sounds), and I was upset until my mum got me enthusiastic about choosing special ones and decorating the frames - you can paint them snazzy colours with nail varnish, that sort of thing. Might you be able to cheer her up a bit if you make it into a more positive thing?

(Btw, someone mentioned surprise she doesn't have patches. I am not an optician so don't take this as more than an anecdote, but I was told as an adult that use of patches is not always suitable, and in some people, it can cause a problem where the eyes stop working together, and you end up seeing slightly doubled images. That might be the reason?)

cestlavielife Wed 31-Aug-11 15:08:00

you could ask optician (or GP) to refer to hospital eye dept for a second opnion and review by orthoptist and opthamologist

if the glaasses dont work probably she will have that differnetial in eye abliity for ever.
you dont want that if it can be avoided.
ask for referral to hospital paed eye dept for a second opinoin

memphis83 Wed 31-Aug-11 15:08:14

I have a weakness in my left eye, I had to wear glasses for a year as a child and it improved to the point that I didnt need them any more, My mum didnt know I needed them as I read ok but obviously the good eye over compensates. I have only recently started to need them again 25 years on.

My friends 5yo has had them for 3 months and her eyes have inproved greatly they told her in another 3 months she probably wont need them anymore.

If it makes you feel better get a second opinion.

homeagainhomeagain Wed 31-Aug-11 15:10:51

YANBU for being upset. I cried when my DD needed very strong glasses at 18 months, and was patched for 2 years. We have all adjusted, she wouldn't manage without her glasses now so I am really glad it was picked up. One thing I would suggest is that you are referred to an Orthoptist - it sounds like your wee one would benefit from patching - but may be too old now.

Groovee Wed 31-Aug-11 15:11:11

I was devastated when my then 8 month old son had to wear glasses. 8 years on the specs are now a part of him and I wouldn't have him any other way. Dd had to start wearing glasses at 7.5 years too and was upset at first but she soon came round to the idea.

LunaticIsOnTheGrass Wed 31-Aug-11 15:21:19

My Ds1 has worn glasses since he was 18 mths (he's 14 now)

They've always just been a part of him & he looks quite odd to me without them.
They've never really been much of a problem, he had the patches & an op when he was small but he still needs them - never really bothered him though.

Pendeen Wed 31-Aug-11 15:24:18

OP if you have any doubts about the competence of the optician go to another one, there are plenty around and it's not like trying to find another doctor or dentist!

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